aerogurl87 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Ok so my new boyfriend and I go out about twice a week (usually on weekends). Everytime we go out he pays for everything, which is always nice but I thought I'd pay for something for once. So last weekend we went by the store to rent some movies. While he was searching for a movie to watch I decided to slyly try to purchase some candy for when we went back to his place to watch the movies together. Well when he got over to the counter and saw what I was attempting to do, I was stopped and told not to buy anything. Yes, I protested and said that it was ok and that I had a job and could pay for my own snack at the least, but he still wouldn't let me buy it. So now I'm feeling a little guilty about all of this. I'm used to guys going somewhat Dutch when it comes to dating me. I'll pay for half of everything and they pay the other half, so I guess I'm just not used to a "traditional" guy. But anyway, I was wondering if anyone else has felt guilty about always being treated when it comes to dates with their SO? Oh and ladies which do you prefer, a man who is traditional and pays for everything, or going dutch?
RogueAngel19 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I think its nice that your bf is a traditional guy but sometimes you should switch it up and take him out. Just make sure he's not trying to get you barefoot and pregnant like a 1950's guy who wants a 1950's housewife.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Something you may want to try is taking him to a movie after already having bought the tickets. I had a girl that did it once for me and I thought it was a really slick move. Normally, I tend to pay for things until I get the feeling that the relationship is going somewhere. By that time the girl usually wants to pay for at least some things, and I let some stuff go in the view of equality. Plus sometimes it's nice to be "treated" by my girl.
D-Lish Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 I'd say it's nice and to go with it. I'm always assertive about going dutch- especially when I am not sure about someone. I never want to feel like someone thinks I owe them something because they are paying for things. If you and this guy are going somewhere and he wants to pay- I say let him.
Author aerogurl87 Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Something you may want to try is taking him to a movie after already having bought the tickets. I had a girl that did it once for me and I thought it was a really slick move. Normally, I tend to pay for things until I get the feeling that the relationship is going somewhere. By that time the girl usually wants to pay for at least some things, and I let some stuff go in the view of equality. Plus sometimes it's nice to be "treated" by my girl. I guess I could do this. I did manage to buy our snacks at the movie theater the other day when he went to the bathroom. He looked kind of surprised but happy at the same time and it made me feel good to contribute to at least part of the date. I'd say it's nice and to go with it. I'm always assertive about going dutch- especially when I am not sure about someone. I never want to feel like someone thinks I owe them something because they are paying for things. If you and this guy are going somewhere and he wants to pay- I say let him. I'm happy letting him pay for most of the stuff since I was brought up in a somewhat traditional household with traditional gender roles. But I just feel guilty sometimes because I know that the prices for dates can start to add up and I don't want to be a financial burden to him although he says I'm not. We did talk about going dutch vs. him always paying the other day. He asked me why I wanted to pay for anything since I guess it sort of confused him and I explained to him how it had always been that way with my exes and he just kind of laughed it off and told me that it was my turn to be spoiled from now on. So I guess I'll just let him keep paying until he brings it up again.
tigressA Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 I felt this way with my most recent ex-boyfriend; we had talked about it quite a bit at my instigation, and he was always reassuring me that I wasn't a burden on him at all and that he was happy to treat me to things. Plus he joked that if I ever paid for anything then it would be a bruise to his male ego. The most effective way for me to treat my ex was to plan it in advance--just let him know that the next time we went out that I wanted to pay, and I wouldn't be budged on the issue. He would give in much easier than if we were already sitting at a table in a restaurant and I just said I'd pick up the check. So maybe try doing that, or like GoneButNotForgotten said, pay for tickets to a movie or some other event that you think he'd be interested in ahead of time and surprise him with them. That's always a sweet move.
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