MikeIsTireAlready Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 We got back together last week. This is the 6th time in a row I get dumped. I was about not get back with her as I'm really already fed up with it. Yet I still took her back. So what's the average amount of time you will take back a dumper? once, twice or 6 times like in my case. Ugh this is giving too much hassles.
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Once, if she has a good reason or has made the changes. Just once.
Author MikeIsTireAlready Posted September 29, 2009 Author Posted September 29, 2009 Never, ever!!!Kudos to you. Maybe I should have been that way from the beginning. I'm close to dumping her if she gives me a hard time again or rubs it in my face about all the things I done wrong in the whole relationship.
EricaH329 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 That's a good question. I think about that once in awhile myself. Me and my ex broke up once, got back together, and just recently broke up again. I wonder what I would do if he would ask me to get back with him again. As easy as it would to just jump back into the relationship with him, realistically, it wouldn't do either of us any good unless he's changed. I'd say, in order for me to want to be back with him, or any other ex for that matter, he would have to prove to me that they aren't the same jerk they were before. If they stuck around to prove it to me, and I was fully convinced, then maybe we could begin talking about getting back together. Alot of the time, they want to get back into the relationship because it's comfortable. Or because they miss the idea of the both of you. But that never ends up working in the end because nothings changed, and you end up with the sammme problems you had before. At some point, you have to gain enough respect for yourself to say no, not unless they've worked out their problems. This goes the same for yourself too though, the problems you might have caused in the relationship need to be worked on also in order for them not to be brought back up again. Relationships are work. Alot of work. But so is life. And so is making yourself a better person. Working on yourself though should come first and foremost, even if it has nothing to do with getting back into a relationship.
Enema Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I'm with boldjack. Never, ever. If they break it off, ask for a break, say they're not sure, need space, are having doubts. Good. Bye.
Author MikeIsTireAlready Posted September 29, 2009 Author Posted September 29, 2009 At some point, you have to gain enough respect for yourself to say no, not unless they've worked out their problems. This goes the same for yourself too though, the problems you might have caused in the relationship need to be worked on also in order for them not to be brought back up again.I know and as stupid as it sounds I still took her back and didn't even questioned anything nor even put rules. I was about to say no. I kept telling myself that if she calls to come crawling back to me I would say no. She did called me last week and I stupidly said yes again.
Leia Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Kudos to you. Maybe I should have been that way from the beginning. I'm close to dumping her if she gives me a hard time again or rubs it in my face about all the things I done wrong in the whole relationship. No matter how great things were, I'd never take an ex back, nor would I go back to one. Six times is way too much. Don't let her walk all over you.
EricaH329 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I know and as stupid as it sounds I still took her back and didn't even questioned anything nor even put rules. I was about to say no. I kept telling myself that if she calls to come crawling back to me I would say no. She did called me last week and I stupidly said yes again. Everyone has their weak moments. I shouldn't have taken my ex back when he asked for me back either. I didn't question whether or not he was the same. I just wanted him back in my life. Looking back on it now though, i'm glad I did take him back. It makes it that much easier to move on knowing that he is someone I can't see myself being with. Anyway, I guess the question you should be asking yourself now though, is how much do you want this to work? I went through hell, I did everything I could, I lowered myself and allowed myself to be treated like total crap, explaining to him all the while how what he was doing was making me feel. He didn't care. He had zero respect for me. If this is a lost cause, which it sounds like it might be... maybe you need to get away from it for awhile. Figure out what makes you happy. When you're miserable... there isn't any way that you can give your all into a relationship. No matter how hard you try.
Author MikeIsTireAlready Posted September 29, 2009 Author Posted September 29, 2009 Six times is way too much. Don't let her walk all over you.I know, no one should be putting up with this. I love this woman too much that I feel I can't live without her even against my mother's disapproval. She doesn't even want my gf to set a foot in the house. That's how much she dislikes her to the point she actually believes I'm getting used. I never had this problem with my mother with my previous ex's just this one. No it's a struggle for me here. My gf knows this too as one time my mother made it so obvious with frown on her face and didn't even smile. That's my mother when she doesn't like you. She will not even smile.
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I know, no one should be putting up with this. I love this woman too much that I feel I can't live without her even against my mother's disapproval. She doesn't even want my gf to set a foot in the house. That's how much she dislikes her to the point she actually believes I'm getting used. I never had this problem with my mother with my previous ex's just this one. No it's a struggle for me here. Maybe that should be a sign this woman isn't right for you. You love this woman a lot? Okay, don't you think though..you need a woman who in turn love's you a lot also? 6 times is just above and beyond unstable. Nothing gets accomplished in these type of relationships. They all erupt into flames and ashes eventually. This lady has no respect for you, and without respect what kind of relationship can the two of you have that's worth anything, anyhow?
splintered thing Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 So what's the average amount of time you will take back a dumper? once, twice or 6 times like in my case. Dunno...it would depend on the person in question, how strong a connection I felt, and how much my ex felt that there was that connection. 6 seems like a lot, but I wouldn't rule it out. Though this is all conjecture at this point. Maybe I'll have a better idea if I ever make it up to "once" and find out how it goes from there.
jaybird1043 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I took her back after 4 days, she dumped me 4 months later and that was 2 months ago. I'd love for her to call me, I still miss her...I think I would tell her no though if she wanted to get back, I do not know. I have done a lot of soul searching the past 2 months, the relationship would be different, I just doi not know if it was ever meant to be. the thing that sucks is I'm sure she has moved on and I'm still pining for her at times. That annoys me with myself, the past few days have been really bad.
Author MikeIsTireAlready Posted September 29, 2009 Author Posted September 29, 2009 Maybe that should be a sign this woman isn't right for you. You love this woman a lot? Okay, don't you think though..you need a woman who in turn love's you a lot also? 6 times is just above and beyond unstable. Nothing gets accomplished in these type of relationships. They all erupt into flames and ashes eventually. This lady has no respect for you, and without respect what kind of relationship can the two of you have that's worth anything, anyhow?Yes I love this woman so much to the point that I sometimes still argue with my mother about it. But this is causing too much hassles and I might reconsider getting back with her and break up. This time it's my turn being the dumper. Sometimes she rubs things in my face and the fact that she hasn't been working for 5 months now and has a 4 year-old son. As much as it hurts maybe I may have to break up as it's really not going anywhere. This isn't going to be easy though. I'll miss her and the kid like hell.
Leia Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I know, no one should be putting up with this. I love this woman too much that I feel I can't live without her even against my mother's disapproval. She doesn't even want my gf to set a foot in the house. That's how much she dislikes her to the point she actually believes I'm getting used. I never had this problem with my mother with my previous ex's just this one. No it's a struggle for me here. My gf knows this too as one time my mother made it so obvious with frown on her face and didn't even smile. That's my mother when she doesn't like you. She will not even smile. As much as I hate to admit this but mothers do know best. Maybe not all, but my mother knows what's best for me. If she says the man isn't right for me, I'd go with her and a few guys she didn't approve of, turned out to be dickheads! In any case, it would be hard for me to get back together with someone who is constantly putting the blame on me for the breakdown of our relationship.
Northwesthunny Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 If the relationship is worth it then i would get back with the person as much times as it takes! I was with my ex for 2years, he is in the forces so it was hard, last year he went t kosovo for 3 months came back and finished things because he said it hurt him so much not seeing me - 2 days later we got back together. We lasted another year, until 3month ago when he rang me from afghanistan to say he couldnt do it anymore. Before he went everything was fine not a problem, we had even booked to go to new york for new year, but then out of the blue he rang and said this to me! Now after splitting up twice, i would still take him back because i love him more than anything and cannot stop thinking about him. If this girl is worth it then i dont see why you shouldnt fight for her
CaliGuy Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 We got back together last week. This is the 6th time in a row I get dumped. I was about not get back with her as I'm really already fed up with it. Yet I still took her back. So what's the average amount of time you will take back a dumper? once, twice or 6 times like in my case. Ugh this is giving too much hassles. Mike, If someone is willing to walk away from you, the question then really becomes "Did they truly love me?" My answer is no. Not if they can walk away. I'm telling you that if a woman truly loves you she'll communicate and work through ALL issues to try and resolve them. She'll literally do everything in her power to make things work. And so will a man -- if the feelings are completely mutual. It's when the relationship is one-sided (one person loves the other person more than that person loves them) where you have the breakup/makeup/breakup rollercoaster. Me personally?! I love rollercoasters, just not in my relationships. If I am willing to stick it out and work through the issues and my S/O isn't then this is the WRONG person for me. The way I feel now, if someone is willing to walk away from me, I LET THEM. Why waste your time on someone who doesn't truly love and appreciate you when there is someone else out there who will? Love and respect yourself first and other people will as well. If you don't love and respect yourself, you can't expect anyone else to love and respect you either. Cheers.
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