IceIceBaby Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I'm 27 and about six weeks ago I started dating a guy who is 24. We interned together at a company about five years ago and have kept in touch. We both became single this summer and started hanging out more. Things really took off and we loved spending time together. We really clicked and felt comfortable with each other. He is like an open book and was very honest with me about his feelings for me. He told me how he had a crush on me five years ago when we worked together and how excited he was to be hanging out with me. He told me he really liked me and that I was "above" what he was used to...not really sure what that meant but I'm sure his exes wouldn't appreciate that. I was even going to his birthday party this weekend and he told me his friends wanted to meet me. About a week ago he got a promotion at work. It meant more work, but he was all for it. Then this weekend he went into the office and ended up meeting with his boss. We had plans for the weekend and he ended up blowing me off all weekend. Then when I get into work this morning he IMs me and tells me he's not ready for a relationship yet. And that he had a long talk with his boss and he needs to focus on work. And that between work and going back to school, he'll have alot of his plate. He swears up and down that the feelings were mutual. I personally don't believe that anyone is so busy that they have no time for someone. If you like someone enough, you make time. How could someone do a 180 so fast? Did his boss brainwash him? Part of me thinks this guy just wasn't into me but his actions and words said something totally different. Or is he just that busy? Or is he just a 24 year old who's going to do what he wants? Why can't he have it all...work and a relationship? And I know someone will ask...no we did not sleep together. Any thoughts here?
Isolde Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 There are sometimes times when people are too busy for dating, but not often. Besides, what does his talk with his boss, have anything to do with it? I doubt his boss told him, "Don't date!"
JustLooking123 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Unfortunately, it sounds like he's rejecting you, and using this as a "nice" excuse. No matter what the reason, the fact is that he doesn't want to continue to date you. You may never understand exactly why. Time to move on to the next one .
yah Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Maybe he and his ex spent every waking minute together and he can't have that while focusing on his career? Maybe you & him spent every waking minute together and he doesn't like that? Maybe he just wants to be single right now. Perhaps he's into you but its time to focus on himself and his work right now. Or perhaps he's not THAT into you. Or maybe he's using work as an excuse to not be with you. I don't know... relationships take a lot of time. Why go into a new one if your career is kicking into high-gear? I broke off a long relationship to move cross-country for mine. Mine is demanding and now that I'm single again I am accomplishing so much more at work (can stay late til 10pm everyday if I want, come in on weekends without feeling guilty, etc).
BobSacamento Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Listen, the guy is a total loser. Anyone who dumps someone on AIM is either 15 or a loser.
Isolde Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Did he give you any kind of "in"? Does he want to stay in touch? I can understand being unavailable for a while, but if a connection is that strong, why would one let it slip away so easily?
lordWilhelm Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Listen, the guy is a total loser. Anyone who dumps someone on AIM is either 15 or a loser. I was thinking exactly that when I read OP.
Author IceIceBaby Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 I definitely thought telling me this over AIM was a bit lame, but what can you do. When we finished talking he said he wanted to keep in touch. But that was it. If the real reason really is that he wants to focus on work, I guess I just don't understand that. I'm dedicated to my job and work really hard, but when I meet someone I like I make time for them. Why can't a person have it all? Do people really think it has to be all work and nothing else? And they're ok with that? But chances are it's about more than just his job. Because I can guarantee you he'll make time for other things and other people. Just not me. But if he wasn't into me, why say and do all those nice things that seemed so genuine? How can you be fine Friday night, say you're excited to see and then be totally not feeling it by Saturday afternoon? The only thing that happened in between there was the meeting with his boss. For some reason he felt the need to say they had a long talk.
4givrnt4gtr Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Honestly, ive been struggling with that same thought for a month now... I sometimes entertain the "he is just too busy" or the "its just the wrong time" but really, all in all....they are just not that interested. I know I might get a lot of crap for quoting "he's just not that into you" but really..it helped me a lot. "If the guy is acting like he gives a S***, he genuinely gives a s**t" If thats the case, forget the loser. ALSO. he is 24.... the last thought on his mind is really to settle down and commit to anything else but his work and school. Men want to get secured financially before they even entertain the thought of getting serious with anyone. I mean, they might....but if the opportunity arises where they can make more money, they'll go for that first. From what ive seen, experienced and read So....forget the boy...time to date men
hannie_1988 Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Maybe he realised it wasn't the right time to have a relationship because he got so much work to do.. But there's another possibility where he could have his own time management between you and his career. I think if he really likes you so MUCH and wants to be with you, I doubt he'll break up with you. It's stupid for him to dump you over online, because it sounds like he doesn't really want to see you and go through all the things he wants to talk about. He's not worth it, unless if he realised what he has miss out on you then he'll come around for sure. Time to move on, focus on what you have and if you find another nice guy, go for it Don't give up, keep your potential.
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