BigBubbs Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me about 7 weeks ago because I refused to accept her ultimatum and back down from an argument (I typically did). It really hurt like hell and I desparately wanted her back, but outside of one email in which I told her I loved her but couldn't deal with anymore ultimatums and a few texts from her wanting her stuff back (which I sent) I haven't heard anything. A few weeks ago I reached a stage where I'm okay with losing her (starting to see her more clearly) but selfishly I want her to call, email or text me. Not necessarily to try to get back but just making contact. It's really about validating the relationship. I find it very hard to accept that she could just move on and not look back and feel the loss at all. I know it's very selfish but that is something I really want. My questions are 1) Have many on here have NEVER heard anything from an Ex after going NC? 2) If they have heard how long has it taken? 3) When you did here did you feel better or worse?
conehead Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me about 7 weeks ago because I refused to accept her ultimatum and back down from an argument (I typically did). It really hurt like hell and I desparately wanted her back, but outside of one email in which I told her I loved her but couldn't deal with anymore ultimatums and a few texts from her wanting her stuff back (which I sent) I haven't heard anything. A few weeks ago I reached a stage where I'm okay with losing her (starting to see her more clearly) but selfishly I want her to call, email or text me. Not necessarily to try to get back but just making contact. It's really about validating the relationship. I find it very hard to accept that she could just move on and not look back and feel the loss at all. I know it's very selfish but that is something I really want. My questions are 1) Have many on here have NEVER heard anything from an Ex after going NC? 2) If they have heard how long has it taken? 3) When you did here did you feel better or worse? If it makes you feel any better, she told you to do this or just leave. And you left. So in a way, you broke up with her. She's probably heartbroken that you told her you loved her but can't deal with her instead of begging for her back. You are both the dumpee and the dumper.
Exit Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 I know how you feel. My relationship was also 1.5 years. Unfortunately I did a lot of contacting her so I don't really know if she ever would have contacted me, but I really doubt it. She told me she didn't feel appreciated in the relationship so I'm sure if I had ignored her after the breakup she certainly wouldn't have tried to contact me. It IS hard to handle that when you see so many other people talking about "my ex dumped me but won't stop calling", at least then you know the person loved you and is confused about losing you. When an ex walks away and has no trouble not looking back it does make you feel pretty worthless. It could just be that they stuck it out for such a long time while they were unhappy that by the time they break it off with you they are more than ready to move on.
ecm Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Hey Big Bubbs- SHUT UP! I was just going to create a post asking the same thing!!!! The I looked down at your title for some reason and clicked on it. Weird. So, I'm going to answer yours, then I'm going to post my own... (in case we get different responses- and so I don't "hijack" or whatever). Then maybe we can compare? (BTW- I'm not a nerd in real life, though I feel like a big one right now) My questions are 1) Have many on here have NEVER heard anything from an Ex after going NC? 2) If they have heard how long has it taken? 3) When you did here did you feel better or worse? 1a) well, many exes ago yes, but I made sure my parting blow would ensure that. OMG, by "blow" I mean insult. (way younger at the time) 1b) my current ex usually resurfaces after NC, b/c he isn't used to it. When I've initiated, things don't usually work. 2) the first (and only) time I actually DID NC, when I really, really listened to everyone's advice..1 month, 1 week, and 1 day (but who's counting) 3) OBVIOUSLY I felt better when it was my current ex coming back to proclaim his feelings. When it was other guys I dumped for being a cheese-d*ck (even thought I liked them at the time) it was too late. I just didn't care...
JaggedRoad Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 I'm sorry if I'm giving you false hope here, but I did something similar when my ex broke up with me the second time. A few days after I left, she came running back to me. I wasn't expecting that to happen and I wasn't over her yet, so it made me feel a lot better. I just don't think she was able to handle being dumped. I'm currently on break-up #3 and things have changed. She dumped me again, but there's a different vibe to it this time. My ex is too proud to contact me each time I went NC, but I kept breaking down and resorted to contacting her. And in doing so, we both lost respect for me. This time, I disappeared (NC attempt #4) without really telling her, but I think she knows.
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