kywuul Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 So there is this cute girl who works at the same place I do, but I don't really work with her, so I hardly ever get a chance to talk to her. I know she is really shy in general, and other people feel the same way about her, but I don't want to mistake shyness for a lack of interest. I kinda like her, and she smiles at me occasionally so I think she's interested in me too. A lot of times when there is a chance to approach her, she makes that impossible, and she seems really nervous, but I don't know if she is just uncomfortable. Other times it seems as though she goes out of her way to approach me but never says much, again I think it's because she's shy but I don't know. So today I ask her to do lunch and she says something like, "Yeah, a spur of the moment thing, I'm really busy because I work during the day and school at night." I ask her for her number and she hesitates. Why would she hesitate? Does hesitation always mean that a girl isn't interested? And a lot of times lately she hasn't looked me in the eye, and I think it's because she knows I'm going to ask her out and is nervous, but I dunno. It's just weird because most of the time I am absolutely positive she likes me, but other times things just seem really weird. I don't want to annoy a girl that works where I do because then things get all weird. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 She flaked out on your because you didnt make yourself interesting enough to her before asking her out. You have to talk to a while first and you have to have good chemistry before asking her for anything, including personal questions. Of course she didnt make the conversation any easier, so its not all your fault. So now that you got all awkward with her, shes not interested anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 Low interest, but nothing to take personally. Back off a little, and flirt with other girls in front of her. You'll be amazed what that can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Devil Inside Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 I agree with the above posters. She lost interest. Oh well...there are millions of cute girls out there. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 Had to bold this......Hey Kywuul....Live by this!!! Low interest, but nothing to take personally. Back off a little, and flirt with other girls in front of her. You'll be amazed what that can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kywuul Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 yeah, that all makes sense. it's weird that i can't figure things like this out on my own. seems so obvious in retrospect. we have talked before, so we know a little about her, but it did seem a little awkward asking her out. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 My guess is that she likes you, but she is not sure of what kind of person you are. The most common reason for rejection like in your situation that she is in doubt. 'No' is not always a real 'No', but most often it is 'I am not sure', 'I am in doubt', 'I am shy to say 'yes'' and many other females' reasons. Because she is probably in doubt, you should start to build rapport with her, so she has information about you to make a desicion to accept you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kywuul Posted October 5, 2009 Author Share Posted October 5, 2009 ok BAC, I've been trying to take your advice by trying to talk to her more but she is making this very difficult. naturally, i just want to ignore her now but the problem is I said I would call her Wednesday (this was like a week ago). i'm afraid she's just really shy, and if that's the case i don't want to hurt her feelings. but if she keeps avoiding me (at least that's what i think is happening) wouldn't she understand that that's why i didn't call? Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 If shes avoiding you and making things difficult, shes not interested. You didnt gain enough rapport with her the first time while she WAS interested. She wont care if you dont call her. Use this lesson for the next girl. Stick a fork in this one. Link to post Share on other sites
singlegirl Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 For what it's worth, I think she's very shy and she needs you to persue her. With shy girls often the only men who get anywhere with them are the ones who keep pushing. trust me if she wasn't interested you wouldn't have her number..... If she is insecure she needs to kow that you will push past her shyness to get her to see you....There is also the element if she is so shy she needs someone who is the polar opposite to make her feel secure You have to ask yourself is this girl worth a little effort? she may be the most amazing person underneath all of that self preservation.... Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 For what it's worth, I think she's very shy and she needs you to persue her. With shy girls often the only men who get anywhere with them are the ones who keep pushing. trust me if she wasn't interested you wouldn't have her number..... If she is insecure she needs to kow that you will push past her shyness to get her to see you....There is also the element if she is so shy she needs someone who is the polar opposite to make her feel secure You have to ask yourself is this girl worth a little effort? she may be the most amazing person underneath all of that self preservation.... Ugh! Did you not see his post where he said she was AVOIDING him? This was after she gave him her number. Even a shy girl wouldnt completely avoid someone she likes, after a successful first encounter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kywuul Posted October 6, 2009 Author Share Posted October 6, 2009 um boogieboy, thanks for your advice and all, but the whole issue is whether or not she is, in fact, avoiding me. i am a very shy person, i guess that's part of my attraction to her. girls that i knew were interested me in the past i would kinda act the same way she is right now. so my gut feeling tells me she's not, but her actions make me wonder. i'm gonna go ahead and call, hopefully it won't annoy her, but that's better than her thinking i'm an *******. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 um boogieboy, thanks for your advice and all, but the whole issue is whether or not she is, in fact, avoiding me. i am a very shy person, i guess that's part of my attraction to her. girls that i knew were interested me in the past i would kinda act the same way she is right now. so my gut feeling tells me she's not, but her actions make me wonder. i'm gonna go ahead and call, hopefully it won't annoy her, but that's better than her thinking i'm an *******. You already got eh feeling that she was avoiding you and making things difficult IN PERSON. Your instinct is telling you that she is avoiding you. Like I said, if she was interested, things wouldnt be difficult. You can go ahead and call her, but nothing is going to come of it since she did a 180 so quickly. Dont get in a habit of getting attracted to girls that avoid you. Link to post Share on other sites
Monster Posted October 7, 2009 Share Posted October 7, 2009 kywuul, I can be very shy when I like someone and behave the exact same way the girl you are interested does. I do the avoidance thing because I get nervous. I need a man to pursue when I do this. Of course, if I weren't interested I would say so clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
amagordos Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 you try to make her jealous to see how she reacts. If she is avoiding, she is either really afraid of you or doesn't like you at all. I know this because i avoid guys for these two reasons. The cute ones i avoid because i like them so much im scared and even more when he starts talking to me. I also avoid guys that annoy me. How can you know the reason behind her aloofness? Ignore her too or be a friend instead, maybe she takes things slow and you are moving to fast. I hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
Author kywuul Posted October 11, 2009 Author Share Posted October 11, 2009 thanks for all the advice peoples. bits and pieces of different posts seem to help this all make sense. this thread probably seems really stupid to most people, but i haven't even been on a date for like four months, let alone have a girlfriend. well, she's cancelled a couple of times but tells me when she is available next and wants to do something then. kinda weird, but i think maybe she is just really nervous. i guess i'll take it even slower than i have been, which has taken forever already, but whatever. i told my friend i was gonna give up because this **** isn't making any sense, but he said i definitely shouldn't do that. he says she likes me, but doesn't tell me how he knows, which is also kinda weird. if i hadn't been without a girlfriend for a year and a half and used to being single i wouldn't put up with this stupid **** (she doesn't even let me know beforehand when cancelling, i'm just left wondering all day). that and i guess i think her nervousness is kinda cute. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 Why would she hesitate? because she isn't interested in giveing you her number Does hesitation always mean that a girl isn't interested? yes Link to post Share on other sites
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