jj33 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 ? Im sorry you are feeling so defensive that was not my intent.
NoIDidn't Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 The thought process is that I am having a relationship with this man. We are passionately in love with each other. If he has sex with any other woman he is cheating on me. That includes sex with his wife. I read this and thought of your thread of the NC for three months and went . So right now your MM is cheating on you, since I am sure that this seeing if his marriage can "work" will involve lots of sex with her. That's usually what men do (no offense to the men here) when they are seeing if things "work". They check the sexual compatibility box. Do you feel that he is cheating on you by doing this? I will put this in your thread as well. Sorry, All.
Impudent Oyster Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 OP, just curious, what "victory" is yours?
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 Jennie's MM called her, i think they are together this moment as we speak.
Impudent Oyster Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 .If he has sex with any other woman he is cheating on me. That includes sex with his wife. Your MM doesn't live with his wife?
Author VictoryisMine Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 OP, just curious, what "victory" is yours? Men... no matter what they say or do... to me, can't hurt me, victory is mine. They can kiss my ass.
jennie-jennie Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Your MM doesn't live with his wife? Huh? Yes, he does. Still cheating if he has sex with her. Interestingly enough that is how he feels about it as well.
jennie-jennie Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Men... no matter what they say or do... to me, can't hurt me, victory is mine. They can kiss my ass. :bunny: What a wonderful victory! I love your independance!
NoIDidn't Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Huh? Yes, he does. Still cheating if he has sex with her. Interestingly enough that is how he feels about it as well. This statement doesn't make any sense taken with everything else you have said about him working on his marriage. Just how does one work on their marriage if they don't have sex still? This just sounds like he reassured you that he wasn't having sex with her when he still was/is. I am not saying this is the case definitely, just a feeling I get. Please guard your heart.
donnamaybe Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Jennie's MM called her, i think they are together this moment as we speak. "...this moment..." Wow. How sad. Spending four years waiting for mere "moments." Dump the cake eaters, gals. The only one getting what they want is the MM in these cases.
Author VictoryisMine Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Not long after i posted this thread i have been noticing something in MM. The past three weeks i have researching this every free hour i have. To my not so shock, everything it says about this disorder is him to the core. Paranoid Personality Disorder. Before anyone comes in with 'yeah, sure...' It seems like 'it' flared up days before he moved back home with his wife. Everything that just didn't make sense back then... makes sense now. But... his stbxw has moved out about three weeks ago. (so he says) He 'opened comminication' with another woman he used to date briefly, about 8 years ago, but she moved to another state. He says this woman flew down (to see him) and met his stbxw? Brought her to his house? Her and stbxw got along pretty well? Maybe the reason his stbxw actually did move out? fled? When i asked him .. why? He replies "I can't date someone like you" In the past month, here and there, i am told that ... i am a serial dater, cheating on him. I am a sex maniac and i am a homewrecker. Because of me he 'screwed his wife over really bad'..... All hell broke loose, but it felt more like that movie with Will Smith and the German Shepard, when Will realizes Sam has been infected... and had to accept it....too sad. I asked MM ... 'Who hurt you when you were little?' He did not answer, just quiet for a moment and said 'I love you but can't date someone like you' I told him "You know, your nuts, and you hurt me bad. You better believe every morning i wake up i will curse your name. Ten times fold onto you." He says "you better watch out, it might fall back on you." I say "Oh no, i'm only 'wishing' onto you what you gave me. If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you." I continued to say, "Take my pain, it's yours to begin with, you gave it to me, i'm giving it back." God as my witness, he started quoting proverbs and explaining how Jesus forgives. I cut him off, said, "Oh yeah, pray... I'm sitting here like a jeckess, missing you, crying for you, waiting for you. Believing in you and your hooking up with another woman?! Who does Jesus think needs him most right now? You? LOL!" After my humiliating laugh at him, i just silently cried (Will Smith movie) , so hard, but silently as he resumed quoting proverbs and praying. I was so angry that he is ... this ill. Catching my breath, i blurted out one final insult, he hung up. Haven't heard from him almost two weeks now. Of course don't expect to, not anytime soon if at all. In the 'accepting' this phase. Hurts like the damn hell.
jennie-jennie Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Victory, hugs. Sorry you are hurting. Seems to be one hell of a mess. I hate that when they go religious on you. My exSO used to do that too. Drive the demons out of the kids.
ladydesigner Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Not long after i posted this thread i have been noticing something in MM. The past three weeks i have researching this every free hour i have. To my not so shock, everything it says about this disorder is him to the core. Paranoid Personality Disorder. Before anyone comes in with 'yeah, sure...' It seems like 'it' flared up days before he moved back home with his wife. Everything that just didn't make sense back then... makes sense now. But... his stbxw has moved out about three weeks ago. (so he says) He 'opened comminication' with another woman he used to date briefly, about 8 years ago, but she moved to another state. He says this woman flew down (to see him) and met his stbxw? Brought her to his house? Her and stbxw got along pretty well? Maybe the reason his stbxw actually did move out? fled? When i asked him .. why? He replies "I can't date someone like you" In the past month, here and there, i am told that ... i am a serial dater, cheating on him. I am a sex maniac and i am a homewrecker. Because of me he 'screwed his wife over really bad'..... All hell broke loose, but it felt more like that movie with Will Smith and the German Shepard, when Will realizes Sam has been infected... and had to accept it....too sad. I asked MM ... 'Who hurt you when you were little?' He did not answer, just quiet for a moment and said 'I love you but can't date someone like you' I told him "You know, your nuts, and you hurt me bad. You better believe every morning i wake up i will curse your name. Ten times fold onto you." He says "you better watch out, it might fall back on you." I say "Oh no, i'm only 'wishing' onto you what you gave me. If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you." I continued to say, "Take my pain, it's yours to begin with, you gave it to me, i'm giving it back." God as my witness, he started quoting proverbs and explaining how Jesus forgives. I cut him off, said, "Oh yeah, pray... I'm sitting here like a jeckess, missing you, crying for you, waiting for you. Believing in you and your hooking up with another woman?! Who does Jesus think needs him most right now? You? LOL!" After my humiliating laugh at him, i just silently cried (Will Smith movie) , so hard, but silently as he resumed quoting proverbs and praying. I was so angry that he is ... this ill. Catching my breath, i blurted out one final insult, he hung up. Haven't heard from him almost two weeks now. Of course don't expect to, not anytime soon if at all. In the 'accepting' this phase. Hurts like the damn hell. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE MEN...sheesh. I mean this is such a load of bulls**t. (((VictoryisMine))) I feel for you. Your MM sounds like a true piece of sh*t, he really does. Take care of you and move on from this psycho. The victory is yours!!! Lose him
torranceshipman Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Look...after a few weeks of intimate fun, he withdrew and lost interest, and then moved back to his W. Then turned it round on you in an argument saying he could 'never date someone like you'! Jackass. From his perspective, this was a brief fling, nothing more...sounds like a classic case of a serial cheater to me. Don't waste any time crying over this guy - he is SO not worth it. And it is pretty clear that he isn't sleeping in the spare room.
boldjack Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 VIM, I'm really sorry for your pain. I wish that other people could get a look at somebody like you , BEFORE they cheat or have an affair with a MP, maybe it would save them a ton of anguish.
2sure Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Victory - that sucks. I'm sorry this happened to you in this way. I'm telling you - on either side of it - infidelity can take a confident , independent, intelligent woman and make her a victim. And crazy too. We all have to stop this. Who would want any end of this for their daughter's? Sigh. My vent. I feel for you.
jwi71 Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 ViM, I remember your story and I'm sorry it ended as it has. For now, cry and rage and vent and scream. Later, come back and perhaps some of the wiser posters can help you prepare for tomorrow. You WILL heal. You WILL be happy again.
ladydesigner Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 I'm telling you - on either side of it - infidelity can take a confident , independent, intelligent woman and make her a victim. And crazy too. Isn't that the truth!!! I have been on both sides as well and am very intelligent and successful. Now I am CRAZY intelligent and successful:laugh:
donnamaybe Posted October 28, 2009 Posted October 28, 2009 Men... no matter what they say or do... to me, can't hurt me, victory is mine. They can kiss my ass. Fall back on this attitude V. It'll serve you well.
Author VictoryisMine Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 Lady, thanks. I have no choice, can't deal with his kind of idiocy. Life with him would of been 'eggshells'.
Author VictoryisMine Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 torranceshipman, absolutely true. Granted, shame on me, being single, flings are in my lifestyle. Towards the end he says, "If you wanted to continue dating other people you should of told me, i could deal with that..." i replied... "WHAT?!" Came out of nowhere, for no reason.
Author VictoryisMine Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 boldjack, exactly why i posted. Hope it helps others. If something seems... odd, it is!
Author VictoryisMine Posted October 28, 2009 Author Posted October 28, 2009 2sure, thank you and thanks for the compliment as well. Never again, lol.
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