2sure Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 ... "I am still seeing other people, if we continue to have a good time we will make a joint commitment at a future date.". That sounds like an answer to a question. A question she wanted to answer honestly and also a question that may have been asked too soon. Did you ask her to be exclusive on or after your second date? Did you assume she was not seeing other people? I mean, people dont usually say this kind of thing, quite like this, out of the blue....unless they feel they need to be very clear for some reason.
stillafool Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 ... "I am still seeing other people, if we continue to have a good time we will make a joint commitment at a future date.". That sounds like an answer to a question. A question she wanted to answer honestly and also a question that may have been asked too soon. Did you ask her to be exclusive on or after your second date? Did you assume she was not seeing other people? I mean, people dont usually say this kind of thing, quite like this, out of the blue....unless they feel they need to be very clear for some reason. I agree and a good point. If you didn't ask her you should text her back and say "who asked?"
pandagirl Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Did you ask her to be exclusive on or after your second date? Did you assume she was not seeing other people? I mean, people dont usually say this kind of thing, quite like this, out of the blue....unless they feel they need to be very clear for some reason. While her delivery was poor, I think it's great she was upfront about it. I was on the receiving end of something like this where the guy DIDN'T tell me he was seeing other people nor did he have any interest in a starting a relationship. This was after two months of dating. I wish he would've taken a cue from this lady and been honest from the start.
loveslife Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 I don't see anything wrong with a young, single woman dating more than one guy. How else are you going to see what's out there? Now you don't have to sleep with them; but going out and getting to know different men is healthy in my opinion. Then, you will meet the guy you really like and tell the others good-bye and then sleep with your chosen guy. I think if you don't meet and greet different people you may settle down and feel like you missed something or should have dated more. And, yes I am American. Well, you don't have to marry the first person you date. When I was young(er) and dated a lot I wouldn't keep dating someone if I felt no potential. The no-potential guys did not last long so there was really no need for overlap. 1
Author midawg Posted October 2, 2009 Author Posted October 2, 2009 Thanks for all the responses. The end came. After date #3 ... I decided it is hard to date someone who when asked "what is your favorite snack" ... calls the question bizzare and will only talk about her dogs/weather/ and complaints at work. Now I begin to see why her husband was so desperate to get out of the marriage. While beautiful on the outside, there are some real emotional issues she has. Maybe the other guys will have better luck than me ....
mr.dream merchant Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I'm a PC and I think multi-dating is fine.
Shin0bi1 Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I cancelled my other dates to focus exclusively on this lady. Should I go back and open up communication with another lady is dying to go out with me, or sit back and see how things work out on this one. I am torn, as I like this girl a lot, but I am not going to get jerked around. Dude... nooooooo!! Keep dating man. I personally have a rule where I will not date more than 3 girls at a time. I found that this was too hard to do more and it was getting expensive and it started to become a chore. Not to mention the fact that I happened to date these women and they all had the same menstrual cycle which was like total hell week of that month.... However in return, my time management skills increased dramatically and I have really improved my memory skills such as time/place/events done with which girl...of'course after some major blunders and epic failures in recalling events and names! lol I know this sounds messed up but if you are really into this girl, date a couple of others. This will work to your advantage and relieve a lot of pressure on your part of trying to make things work. Trust me man go date and have fun. -Shin0bi1
stepka Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 I think multi-dating is fine as long as it's on a very casual level--that is, no sex--with any of them. I can't see having sex with more than one person or having it with one man while going out with others. That does reek of sluttiness.
CaliGuy Posted October 2, 2009 Posted October 2, 2009 Question for the group. I met someone via (EH). We have had two great dates. We have date #3 scheduled for Wednesday. I got a bombshell in a e-mail this morning of ... "I am still seeing other people, if we continue to have a good time we will make a joint commitment at a future date.". Needless to say I was surprised due to her attention, and our chemistry. I cancelled my other dates to focus exclusively on this lady. Should I go back and open up communication with another lady is dying to go out with me, or sit back and see how things work out on this one. I am torn, as I like this girl a lot, but I am not going to get jerked around. Well to be honest, if you meet someone on a dating site, you can pretty much bet they are going out on dates with other people. It's part of the territory. Honestly, I don't see the harm in it as long as she isn't sleeping with any of them. She was upfront and honest with you. And if I were you, I'd be doing the same thing. You should keep your basket full and have options so that you don't place all of your hopes on one person that may or may not work out. This actually helps you relax and be YOURSELF on dates where you aren't trying to impress her. This is why I am adamant about people who are dating, especially using dating sites, to date as many people as they can until you decide to become exclusive with just one person. That said I must emphasize this one thing: "KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!" Don't be sleeping with these girls. That is NOT the way to handle this. If you do break that golden rule, you had better be ready to commit (both of you) or you're a bunch of sleazes! lol
pandagirl Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 That said I must emphasize this one thing: "KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS!" Don't be sleeping with these girls. That is NOT the way to handle this. If you do break that golden rule, you had better be ready to commit (both of you) or you're a bunch of sleazes! lol Not only should people keep it in their pants when dating multiple people, after a certain amount of time, you need to tell someone you are seeing other people. I learned this the hard way.
Art_Critic Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 I'm a one woman man.. I have only dated and given my energy to one woman and only multiple dated once .. when I was like 22.. Being busy in my life I couldn't have handle more than one anyhow.. if I wasn't dating someone I had plenty of a social life and interests to keep me busy till the next girl came along.. We have someone at work that when he was in his 20's he used to date up to 4 women at a time and in order to keep them all straight during the day he used to give each one a different phone number at work.. That way when the receptionist would say " Joe.. You have a call on line 3" he knew who was calling him..
Lizzie60 Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 I am also a one man woman... when in a relationship.. never cheated .. and never will cheat on anyone.. But a single person should, IMO, date as many people as they want.. that's what a single life is all about..
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 I'm a one woman man.. I have only dated and given my energy to one woman and only multiple dated once .. when I was like 22.. Being busy in my life I couldn't have handle more than one anyhow.. if I wasn't dating someone I had plenty of a social life and interests to keep me busy till the next girl came along.. We have someone at work that when he was in his 20's he used to date up to 4 women at a time and in order to keep them all straight during the day he used to give each one a different phone number at work.. That way when the receptionist would say " Joe.. You have a call on line 3" he knew who was calling him..Did he call all of them Sweetheart, so he didn't have to remember their names? As for multi-dating, I've done it a number times. In retrospect, it was always because I wasn't in the right frame of mind, for anything serious.
pandagirl Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 As for multi-dating, I've done it a number times. In retrospect, it was always because I wasn't in the right frame of mind, for anything serious. That's an interesting way of thinking of it. In fact, when J revealed to me he was seeing/sleeping with someone else, he said: "I don't want a girlfriend, or a monogamous or committed relationship with anyone." Totally fine. Just could told me that 10 dates prior.
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 That's an interesting way of thinking of it. In fact, when J revealed to me he was seeing/sleeping with someone else, he said: "I don't want a girlfriend, or a monogamous or committed relationship with anyone." Totally fine. Just could told me that 10 dates prior. Ha...at least these guys knew I was multi-dating since I always told, upfront.
pandagirl Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Ha...at least these guys knew I was multi-dating since I always told, upfront. Well, that's because you are an upstanding person with values and moral integrity! Some (most?) people only care about themselves and what they can get out of it.
Trialbyfire Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 Well, that's because you are an upstanding person with values and moral integrity! Some (most?) people only care about themselves and what they can get out of it.Thanks but I wouldn't go as far as upstanding since I also have my flaws but I do try to uphold my core values, so I can look myself in the mirror, in the mornings.
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