Dealing with the holidays alone for first time in four years

[hurts so bad]

Well today being Thanksgiving here in the US, I am feeling depressed. I would prefer if the holidays didn't even come this year. I can't even imagine how Christmas will be. Today will be the first time in 4 years, that I will be going to our family dinner without my 'significant other'. And it will be the first time in 4 years, that I will not be going to his. I have tried to come up with an excuse, so I didn't have to attend my family's....but there really isn't a good enough excuse....besides 'I just don't feel like it'. I feel like I have lost part of my family, now that I realize I'm not invited to his family gathering. (I was really close with his mom). I guess I'm just feeling sad. I'm really not in the mood to be celebrating. I try and pretend that everything is fine, but down deep it really cuts like a knife. We were together for 4 1/2 years...and have been broken up for 3 months. And we have had no contact at all. I guess today, is going to be another bad day.

[Tony T]

There will be lots of people in your same situation. They will feel a bit empty, maybe not so eager for dinner, maybe wanting to just be alone. That's normal. It's much better than being with the wrong person.

 

So you have the inconvenience of feeling a bit down on this day? On your way to to your family's Thanksgiving dinner, drive by your local homeless shelter and see the line of people who have no relatives or special others at all waiting for a hand-out; then drive by the local cemetary to see those who are putting flowers on the graves of loved ones they lost just days, weeks, or months ago; then stop by the local hospital and walk through the cancer wing to see those who are receiving their Thanksgiving dinner through a tube, only hoping they get the final drip before they move on to the next life; then drive by some fire stations and see the men working to protect you instead of being with their families. When you see a police car, think of those men who risk their lives even on holidays so you can be safe.

 

Stop by your local National Guard, Naval, Air Force or Army Reserve Centers and think of those men who are in the deserts of Iraq, Afghanistan and other areas of the world eating processed turkey from a can, not knowing if they will survive the day without being blown up by a terrorist bomb. I won't even go into talking about the people around the world who will have no one to love them and nothing to eat today.

 

I'm really sorry about your break up. It's always tough but in the long run it's always the best thing. But if you put your mind on others and what they are going through on this day, YOU WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING because the biggest turkey ever in your life is now out of it.

 

The world is a wonderous place.

[camcutie]

Happy Thanksgiving to all...............

 

Hurts So Bad, Take Tony's words and be thankful for what you do have today, your family and friends that do want to spend the day with you, because one thing I've learned through holidays is your family and true friends will be with you year after year.

 

 

Tony,

 

That was some of the best advice I've ever heard, it really makes you stop and be thankful for what you have and all the people you don't even know that are spending their holiday doing for others. Thank you..

 

P.S. I have a post in personal rants and confessions 'Need Help Big situation/falling in love with ex's employee' I have yet to get a males response and Tony I would love your advice.

 

Thanks and Happy Holidays.

[hurts so bad]

Wow, that was quite a post Tony! It really puts things in perspective. I really feel selfish now, that I was feeling sorry for myself. I printed out this thread, and I plan to re-read it until it sinks into my head! Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.

[yes]

Tony-dear, I'm copying your post into a file in my desktop, and i shall read it daily. It will serve a selfish purpose of me appreciating my life, and hopefully another purpose of me dedicating some time to the less-fortunate.

 

thanks!

-yes

[Reckless]

Thanks giving - the giving of thanks for what we have not for what we want...

 

Happy holidays all!

 

R.

 

Ps. I'm British, we don't give thanks, we knit and eat custard...