How to deal with a screw-up I want to fix?

[theumlaut]

How to deal with a screw-up I want to fix

 

Met a woman once--coffee date. She’d replied to me on OK Cupid, I had replied to her on Match—independently without knowing it was the other. Delay on her part in seeing my message and she used different usernames.

 

From her messages to me, it seemed like she was aiming at a friend/professional/networking contact. She’s an amateur writer, actress, working on comedy skills—in the last year. She’d been a dormant creative sort and someone she met thru Match encouraged and mentored her

 

She was so impressed by my writing, creativity, and humor in my profile that she emailed, told me I should be using my talents as she’d been and wanted to mentor me.

 

We met. It was great, I felt no romantic interest from her. Almost all talk was about writing, opportunities, classes, and a creative circle of people she was putting together—for me to join. Offered to help me, bring me to events, to meet people, etc. Networking. Talked about how meetup groups had been a great way for her to meet others and all of above really improved her social life. But a main emphasis of hers was to get me involved in things and with specific events coming up. (All of this is free--she has no financial interest with any of this).

 

I sent her a message that hinted at no romantic attraction. I though she wasn’t interested, so my interest went away.

 

I haven’t heard from her after about 11 days. (She’s been online since). I worry that my message was insulting by ignoring the “personal relationship” issue by seeming to dismiss it completely thru ignoring it. Maybe her seeming lack of interest was true, maybe she was nervous, etc.

 

What do I do? What to say? I’ll either call or write, but am at a real loss about how to handle this. Help—women esp.

 

Here’s what I wrote

 

X, it was great meeting you. A fun discussion. You're a riot; very interesting. Your story about what you've been up to in the past year is inspiring--literally. It's great what you've done so far and accomplished. You've brought thoughts I had eons ago about engaging in creative endeavors back to the fore. I went and finished writing the first scene of the story I'd been toying around with in my head.

 

You talked about some things going on--I want to take you up on your offer to help me get connected.I think you mentioned some events or whatever happening this week or soon. I'm interested. What to do?

 

Thanks.

 

Y

[Lucky_One]

I like what you wrote. I also like that it is direct without being curt.

 

As to why she acted the way she did - I have no idea! But I think that touching base again is always a good idea, especially when we have no surety that our first message was received or not (I have hit delete on things before, thinking I was hitting another button on my phone).