muse08 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 well i do regret it...and feel myself getting down about it. i was doing good with NC for a week, then broke the rules. had a problem with my car and my ex was the only person who could help at the time. thus i ended up asking him for his help and he was there for me. we started talking and we saw one another since that day. yes he was there for me,but can and how can i redeem myself or regain focus? right now i'm all out of sorts. he acts like he's happy he has communication with me now and is getting under my skin already. is there any use in me telling him to stop calling at this point?he probably won't take me serious at this point...you think? you can refer to my previous post regarding "he left his phone on...", for more details if you'd like to read. thanks
Author muse08 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 ...btw,he still calls and textes throughout the day and tries to see me more, but i still feel that he is very spiteful
Exit Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Car trouble is no real excuse to contact him. What do you want to happen with this guy? He was cheating on you correct?
Ronni_W Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Exit has a point. Basically, you used your ex to help you get out of a jam, and now you're not liking the crappy consequences of your own decision. he...is getting under my skin already. You could tell him that you thought you'd be able to be friends at this point but it isn't working for you the way you had hoped, and now find yourself needing to ask for his consideration in stop contacting you. (I know it's BS but possibly just the lesser of all evils, at this point.) You could also offer to reimburse him for, or at least contribute to, whatever costs he incurred when he helped you with your car trouble. At the end of the day, you fell off the 'NC wagon'...and you have paid the price. No need to beat-up on yourself any longer, IMO.
Author muse08 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 Car trouble is no real excuse to contact him. What do you want to happen with this guy? He was cheating on you correct? actually he was the only person available to help me during that time.it was early in the morning.i was about to go to work.everyone was at work including him but he drives a lot during the day so he was able to pick me up to go get my car so that i could get to work. no he wasn't cheating on me that i know of.perhaps he was but i had no real proof.while we were broken up(broke up with him b/c there's baby mama drama, we are very different, and he is manipulative.plus became spiteful since we broke up) i overheard his conversation with one of his guy friends saying that he was gonna stop messing with this particular female b/c of xyz.he was trying to get back with me but i wasnt trying to hear him.so he says thats when it happened...during the time he says i was "being bad" and going out of town without asking him, etc. my beef is that how dare he try to get back with me while he's seeing someone else when i asked him if he's been with anyone else he said no.so it's not much different than what you said in my opinion but technically it is i guess.
Author muse08 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 What do you want to happen with this guy? ...well i wanted us to be done so i could get over all this but now i'm not sure what i want to happen.i'm confused and this is why i feel like i need to do something or something soon that i can stick with. maybe that's nothing right now...
Exit Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Okay I misunderstood, I read the old thread where you said you overheard that conversation on the phone and I thought you heard him talking about another woman while he was still with you. Still, as much as you are trying to justify contacting him, you could have called into work and said you were having car trouble, taken public transportation, or whatever. He wasn't the ONLY option in the whole entire world, but you chose to use it as a reason to contact him. You broke up with him for certain reasons and it doesn't sound like any of that has changed. It's normal to wonder if you made the right decision and have some regrets but obviously at some point you were fed up enough that you wanted to be done with him, you just have to trust your own judgment that that was the right thing to do at the time. Until you have 100% proof that he isn't seeing anyone else and does want you back, there really isn't much for you to do.
Author muse08 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 you're right.i could've taken public transportation even if it cost and took forever.still, you're right and i know it. he had been calling and texting me everyday all day. i have been fighting the urge all along,yet i know that i probably should put my energy elsewhere b/c it doesn't feel like this is a healthy relationship. 1. i'm not comfortable with him when we're in public because of his '"interesting" disposition 2. had he not wooed me,i wouldn't have ever dated him. 3. i feel like ever since i broke up with him he has become spiteful 4. his mother and aunt seem to do all his thinking for him in spite of these things there is something that still draws me to him.the physical attraction is there and he always asks me if i need anything and tries to see me.i have been pushing him away. he agrees and wants to go get tested together.he will try to get me to be at his spot or he at mine almost each night.i just feel like he may have something up his sleeve due to the fact that i've kept my distance so much lately...
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