Stanpy Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Alright, I'm new to this forum, and this is gonna be fairly long, so just hear me out here. I'm a 16 year old girl, and I have a crush on this guy that goes my school (Sixth Form). I've had a crush on him since around December last year as he was in my History class. I don't talk to him much at all in person, but I have him on MSN and Facebook, which we talk to eachother sometimes. We don't exactly have the most deepest and longest conversations, but usually generic (about our day, school, music, movies, people, etc.) ones that last about 10-20 minutes, although our longest one was 3 hours, but that was way back in April. At school, he's always with his "social circle" which consists of mostly people that I either don't know or don't talk to. I'm a really shy person, so approaching him seems out of the question. As we're just acquaintances, he never speaks to me first, so that includes in person and on MSN. I'm usually the starter, so I very doubt he has feelings for me or suspects that I have feelings for him. I'm not the ugliest duck in the pond (if I can say so myself), but I'm definitely no hot spot knockout model chick. My crush is hot to me, and I find him really funny and nice from what I've seen. Recently, though, I've considered owning up to my feelings to him. I've had a crush on him for nearly a year, and a very strong one at that. I'm not exactly a psycho stalker (yet lol ), but I do think of him a lot, and I do occassionally scoop aroud his Facebook profile and pictures. He doesn't have a girlfriend, and hasn't so for about six months. He doesn't have a crush on anybody, or not that I know of anyway. The thing is, I'm kinda urging to tell him my feelings to get it off my chest. The problem is, that some people reckon I don't know him enough to admit something of that scale. About 6 of my friends know about him, and they seem divided. One reckons that it's an "eeeeep" idea, if you get me, and the others think that if I like someone, I should be straight-up to him about it. I'm not exactly expecting some magic miracle, afterall he's not a shallow guy, I do kinda fear an apathetic or freak'y-out'y reaction, but I am willing to try. Based on everything I said, would it be a good idea to tell him? Or is it "social suicide"? Opinions appreciated.
Forsaken Heart Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 I hate to disappoint you, but as much as you want to express your feelings to that guy, I don't think that's going to be a good idea. From what you said, he only looks of you as a "classmate" and not a "close friend" (sorry). What I would suggest you to do now is, try and get a little bit closer with that guy. You may already know enough about him, so you need him to know enough about you. But beware, when you do try to get close, be careful not to have the slighest of bad impressions. Just one mistake can be fatal here. Also, make sure that he then on considers you as a close friend, only then you can look for the perfect opportunity to directly confront him. I know it's tough, but based on personal experience, it's the best solution possible. Good luck.
Ryuk Posted October 3, 2009 Posted October 3, 2009 I am also 16, and I know exactly what you are going through. From my personal experience, I would say that you don't tell him how you feel right now. I am very shy also, and I know how it feels to have a crush on someone who has a large social circle. You need to try to get closer to him in person, and find out what kind of person he is, and what his hobbies/interests are. If you tell him how you feel, and he doesn't feel the same way, you could have your first heartbreak. Alternatively, if you tell him how you feel and he feels the same, while you two are dating you may find things out about him that you do not like, and you could also be heartbroken.
Beefy88 Posted October 9, 2009 Posted October 9, 2009 What I understand from reading your post, is that you're always the one to initiate a conversation. From my experiences, this is not a bad thing but a tough thing to overcome. As Forsaken Heart said, try getting him interested in you! Make him want to talk to you. This has always worked for me. You know enough of his interests, why not use them as a way to attract him? This would be an easy to do if you have mutual interests. As for example: If he is playing an instrument, and you are interested in playing one too, why not ask him about his personal experiences. Or what he thinks is the best store to get his equiptment, etc... Get in-depth and try to get some reactions. Try leading the conversation to the point you want them to go. As soon as he starts talking to you without you talking first, you've got one step ahead. It's all going to be alot easier from then on. As soon as you have a 'real friendship' (this could go fast in my experiences) start talking to him more in real life than over MSN. Chatting online is a good way to start real friendships, but in order to earn the trust and etc. that a real friend deserves it's better to talk IRL. You can't underestimate the power of non-verbal things. Just remember to be yourselve, don't go doing things that you normally wouldn't do just to get some mutual interests, that won't work. Sorry for the crappy english, but I hope it helps in any way
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