wookie130 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Hi, I'm new to these forums, and I just thought I'd share what I'm going through at the moment in my marriage. We have been married for what would be 5 years in December, but together for around 9 years. I think to keep it simple, I'll just list an inventory on how things have gone from crappy, to unbearable. 1. I was 22 when we met. He told me he was 30. Well, I come to find out that he elaborately lied, and two weeks before we married (at 26), I find out that he was really 43. Now looking at him, you would never know. I felt like an idiot. So, here we have an age difference of 16 years, and not 8. 2. Secret #2...he had been in prison for injuring his younger son severely (squeezing him, breaking his ribs, knees, and ankles) at the tender age of 2 weeks old. I had no idea until we had been married for at least a month. Had I known this from the beginning, I would have dropped him immediately. Yuck. 3. Secret #3...it came to my attention that he was using meth in our basement, and was spending money from our joint account like a mad man to support his habit. Did I mention the cocaine and the crack??? Oh, let's not forget the vodka, either. I'm a TEACHER, and once my paycheck was automatically deposited into my account at the beginning of each month, we'd be $900.00 in the hole at the bank. He stole my credit cards, blew my savings, pawned everything we owned, stole from his own sons, stole from an AA sponsor, left us without so much as a dime to buy toilet paper, or to keep the utilities going. And THAT'S fun in 103 degree weather. Let's not fail to mention the personal loans he took out in my name. Gets drunk for 5 days straight, leaps on me, beats me in the face, drags me out of the house by my hair, and his sister comes and rescues me for 3 weeks. Credit is in the TOILET, debts are huge, he's in and out of rehab...finally remains sober for the past 3 years, except NOW, he's graduated up to doctor shopping for prescription meds. Steals my debit card # and uses it to pay for meds he does not need, etc., etc. Drama #4...both of his teenage sons are a mess. I don't even want to get into it, as that would encompass a whole different thread. It is a big, fat, HOT MESS. So, what brings me to the point of no return, is when I receive a bill from a pharmacy in the mail for about 9 different prescription meds that he's been secretly acquiring here and there, after he'd only been out of rehab (yet again) for 7 days. And that was that. I was DONE. I told him that I will no longer endure this hell, and that if I were to have any future AT ALL, I'd have to get the hell out of this situation forever. And after many years of empty threats, I finally knew in my heart, that my heart had had it, and that I HAD to leave. So, tomorrow, I call my new potential landlord. I have no idea how I'm going to financially do this, and I have virtually no material possessions to take with me (no bed, no sofa, no microwave, towels, etc.), but, I'm going to do it anyway. It will be me, my dog, and 3 cats. And it sounds like heaven. What I'm wondering, is how some of you start completely over...I'm carrying a mountain of debt on my shoulders, and do work a second job because of it, but one of my larger debts will not be paid totally until March or April of next year, so saving money will be next to impossible. And like I said, I really do have nothing to bring with me to my new place, if I actually can get it. Do these details just start falling into place with time and strategy? Encouraging words will help!
Auroracoladybug Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Sounds to me like you need to get in touch with a local shelter...craigslist...good for you for getting out!
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