wierdmunky Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Are there any confident people who aren't selfish at times? I find it hard to be very humble and confident. I would think of myself more humble than anything, but so far I feel more taken advantage or forgotten. I'd like to be more confident and basically not care, but that just seems caring for myself more than others. So is this correlation really there? Because if it is, I'll stop caring in certain areas of life. At this point I feel I truly try to care about everyone I come accross.
ON MY OWN Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 At this point IMO I think it is a fine balance that can be difficult to maintain at times. I think you have to work more at exuberating a higher level of confidence without sacrifice being a "real" person and keeping the caring attiude that you know is right and respectful. It is important for one not to EVER sacrifice what is important and true. BTW this is a super thread and will definitely be interested in what other LS members have to say on this issue.
Pedigree Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Are there any confident people who aren't selfish at times? I find it hard to be very humble and confident. I would think of myself more humble than anything, but so far I feel more taken advantage or forgotten. I'd like to be more confident and basically not care, but that just seems caring for myself more than others. So is this correlation really there? Because if it is, I'll stop caring in certain areas of life. At this point I feel I truly try to care about everyone I come accross. I think you can being humble and confident at the same time. To me it comes down to this mindset: "Why do I need to be loud and brash when I know I can do it?" In other words, let your actions do the trashtalking not your mouth.
Ronni_W Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Are there any confident people who aren't selfish at times? I guess it depends on one's definition of "selfish". Taking care of our own needs, wants and goals, setting boundaries of how we want to be treated, and expressing our upsets and dislikes in calm, kind ways is not "selfish", it is self-caring. "Selfish" is trying to prevent others from taking care of their own needs, etc., ignoring their self-determined boundaries, mistreating them, and/or expecting them to just always be helping us take care of our own 'stuff'. We can care about and respect others, and STILL be assertive, self-responsible and self-loving. It just takes more effort...and I'm not always successful at it
Author wierdmunky Posted October 20, 2009 Author Posted October 20, 2009 I think I wonder because whenever I start to feel confident I feel like I could be stepping on someone else's toes, but that could be because I'm talking, I should take Pedigrees advice. I can't balance it out, and am getting frustraited . Not to mention there is always something that derails me back to my old pattern of thought.
TheLoneSock Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Are there any confident people who aren't selfish at times? I find it hard to be very humble and confident. I would think of myself more humble than anything, but so far I feel more taken advantage or forgotten. I'd like to be more confident and basically not care, but that just seems caring for myself more than others. So is this correlation really there? Because if it is, I'll stop caring in certain areas of life. At this point I feel I truly try to care about everyone I come accross. If you are not a confident person, then your humility may in fact come from a low self esteem. Something to think about. People who are confident and unselfish are in fact humble, because they know their self worth but are willing to put others first as needed. I've always found that the most attractive form of confidence is the type that knows they are high in self worth, but never hesitate to shell out compliments and boost others' confidence.
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