redant Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Are there stages you go through when you move in with someone? I'm finding we are not always as happy with each other as when we saw each other on weekends. Now that he's always here I have to deal with me and him at the same time all the time. Any insight? Thanks!
Lauriebell82 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Are there stages you go through when you move in with someone? I'm finding we are not always as happy with each other as when we saw each other on weekends. Now that he's always here I have to deal with me and him at the same time all the time. Any insight? Thanks! My fiance and I saw each other on weekends for the first year 1/2 of our relationship. I moved back home straight into living together. The most time we had stayed together was like a week or two. It IS a big change to be together all the time. What has helped us is being sure we each get personal time. When we were LD we would have all the personal time in the world during the week and then spend the entire weekend together doing "couple stuff." So if my fiance wants to go watch something on tv in the other room and I want to watch something in the living room then we do that for awhile. Like right now I am in the living room watching " The Wizard of Oz" and he is in the bedroom. This afternoon we spent a lot of time together watching football and the Steelers game. So it balanced out.
Island Girl Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 You are meshing two lifestyles (how you were raised to do things) together. And you aren't always going to be as happy as you were when you only saw each other on the weekends. Welcome to the transition of the honeymoon stage to reality. Sometimes relationships take work. And dealing with each others habits and idiosyncrasies can be challenging. But every relationship comes to this. And the ones based upon the right things, where both people are truly dedicated to it and each other, succeed in making it work.
Lucky_One Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 OMG! Those monkeys STILL freak me out! I am watching it, too.
Author redant Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 Yea I guess finding the balance is important. It's our first week. Thanks!
Lauriebell82 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 And dealing with each others habits and idiosyncrasies can be challenging. But every relationship comes to this. And the ones based upon the right things, where both people are truly dedicated to it and each other, succeed in making it work. Yeah, that has to be the hardest. Another hard part for us was that we were both working during the week and stressed out. We weren't used to having someone at home after a long tiring day. The best advice I can give is learn what his annoying habits are and decide how you can deal with them. My fiance is a neat freak, I call him Gary Poppins. When he gets in his anxious "Gary mode" I just jokingly call him Gary and clean up whatever he is anxious about. If he snaps out of stress (or I do) we just apologize and let it go. You have to let the little things go otherwise you will be constantly fighting.
Lauriebell82 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 OMG! Those monkeys STILL freak me out! I am watching it, too. Yeah I LOVE it!!! To keep the thread on topic, my fiance did watch it for a total of 3 minutes (I timed it lol) to appease me before jetting out of the room. It's okay though, I'm just relaxing out here and don't have to hear him biatch about what a girly dog Toto is. (yes he said that)
Island Girl Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 When my husband and I lived together we found out we are very different in a lot of ways. He likes to be busy a lot of the time. He likes to have projects and things to do. I like to relax. My job is mentally stressful and I have many things going on at any given time so I don't get into that same mental state when I get away. He is a morning person and I am not at all. I also do not like doing housework. And I have only recently discovered that cooking can be fun. But I wouldn't want to have to do it. He would wake up early and just do what needed to be done. He busies himself tidying up, cleaning, doing yard work, or whatever it is. He ends up having a few hours to himself every day on the weekends and boy the house is immaculate when I rise! LOL By the time I get up he is always anxious for company, he'd have breakfast ready for us, and his mind had already been creating a plan of what we might get out and do that day. It was the same way the last time I was there. I wake up and he is already up straightening the hotel room. He had showered, dressed, was folding my clothes, etc. And he made sure I had whatever I needed ready to just get up and shower - then we'd be on our way to eat breakfast and get out into the day. You'll find your way around all of this.
Author redant Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 Great stories. I do also have to get used to someone being around when I get home or in the morning when I wake. This morning I was enjoying a little alone time putting up some dishes and then I see him coming walking in! It was so early I thought he'd sleep more! But I think we will adjust. I want to find a balance and peace in time! Thanks!
Lauriebell82 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Great stories. I do also have to get used to someone being around when I get home or in the morning when I wake. This morning I was enjoying a little alone time putting up some dishes and then I see him coming walking in! It was so early I thought he'd sleep more! But I think we will adjust. I want to find a balance and peace in time! Thanks! Yeah, you will. I know for us, it was an adjustment being together every night/morning. It threw off both our "routines." You do have to get used to having him around. Let me ask you a question though: Do you ENJOY him being around all the time? Do you miss him when he is gone? With your example: if that happens just continue doing dishes. Politely say good morning and offer him coffee or something. Then say you need some space to put away dishes. Work out a morning routine for both of you.
Author redant Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 Yea finding a routine will help. It's just we've always gotten along pretty good and this week has been a little tough and a different dynamic! it's hard to know if it's my emotions solely or him too, his attitude. Thanks!
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