Nikki Sahagin Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 But you don't regret sabotaging it? Of course. But unfortunately its too late now, the damage is done. I know if I come across that rare thing again I will treasure it and hold onto it and do my best not to spoil it, but at that time in my life I was incredibly insecure and did not really see my value as a lovable person so the more he loved me the more afraid I was it would end, so I pushed him away until finally he didn't come back. In all the misery a part of me was strangely relieved. Its all about ending things in a way where you have the control, thats what sabotague is about - trying to control the outcome because you scared to have it out of your hands. I do regret it, but I can't change it unfortunately. If I met him in another life I would treat him right and treasure him. All I can do is try to accept that I am worthy of being loved and to not hurt those that love me.
EmperorR Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Of course not, also the faithful ex bf always gets screwed in movies. See my best friends wedding, titantic the notebook. Hey it's ok to cheat, if it's your true love please.
DustySaltus Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 The two movies that I've seen lately that I believe are spot on in dealing with the aftermath of a relationship are Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Swingers. Forgetting Sarah Marshall: The guy gets too comfortable and the girl is just looking out for herself. He knows he screwed up too, but he never cheated and had a good heart. He sleeps with other women but it doesn't heal him. He goes nuts, but then slowly but surely he finds his way back...it's like the relationship "Rocky". Swingers: This movie was hilarious but it really hit home. The scene where he keeps calling the girl back that he met in the bar ten times is one of the most painful scenes I have ever watched. He comes through in the end as well. Both of these movies are great because they are realistic and have realistic endings as well. I agree though, "The Break Up" sucked.
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 you hit that point on the head. If Brad Pitt comes along, not only will they cheat, but they will not really feel guilty about it. They will say "oh it just happened". the truth is that women are not really against cheating in general either, it makes for drama and gossip which they live for. They are against their man cheating on them of course. Well everyone is essentially 'against' cheating. Women supposedly cheat for emotional reasons and men for physical so neither is really better than the other. Also I strongly believe whenever a person does something wrong, it doesn't FEEL wrong, because in your mind and heart you understand it. Therefore we all know cheating is wrong, but people DO cheat because when THEY do it, something about it seems different or justified somehow. Rarely do people do things without justifying why and how beforehand to themselves.
GrayClouds Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 most of those sappy movies end like that, but honestly if you ever saw the movie The Breakup, that ending sucked. it wasnt a happy one at all. and if you wanna see a depressing but great movie...Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind. I hated both people in the break-up, I never tough people could be that hateful and ugly...but I am learning. Eternal Sunshine... Such a good movie even Jim Carey couldn't ruin it.
brock9911 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 true, the only scene in that movie i liked was when they sing owner of a lonely heart by yes...that was funny as sh*t. but eternal sunshine makes me sad everytime i watch it....but i cant stop watching it. its too good
Exit Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Yup, Eternal Sunshine is amazing. Ironically I no longer have my copy, after my breakup I told my ex how one day when we were still together I had brought it to her house to watch it but we never got around to it, and I wished she had seen it since it's about two people considering giving things a second try. She told me if I brought it to her she would watch it. So now she still has it and I guess I'm not getting it back. Joel: It would be different if we could just give it another go-around. Clementine: Remember me. Try your best. Maybe, we can. Stuff like that is what made me pursue my ex for so long... I kept imagining her voice saying stuff like that, but apparently it wasn't true. For the ladies in this thread saying you want a guy who does stuff like in the movies, leave me your phone number lol.
JaggedRoad Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Of course. But unfortunately its too late now, the damage is done. I know if I come across that rare thing again I will treasure it and hold onto it and do my best not to spoil it, but at that time in my life I was incredibly insecure and did not really see my value as a lovable person so the more he loved me the more afraid I was it would end, so I pushed him away until finally he didn't come back. In all the misery a part of me was strangely relieved. Its all about ending things in a way where you have the control, thats what sabotague is about - trying to control the outcome because you scared to have it out of your hands. I do regret it, but I can't change it unfortunately. If I met him in another life I would treat him right and treasure him. All I can do is try to accept that I am worthy of being loved and to not hurt those that love me. I'm glad I asked. You just sound so much like my ex. Now, I have to say something to you that I have told so many girls lately: it's never too late. You can't change the past, but you have the opportunity to make things right in the present. Don't tell yourself that nothing can be done in this lifetime; you're just slipping back to your insecure ways. You will always have control of things in your life even when it seems all too chaotic. Don't just accept--do. If you want it, then take it.
t0ri Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 For the ladies in this thread saying you want a guy who does stuff like in the movies, leave me your phone number lol. do you happen to live in the Southwest?
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 I'm glad I asked. You just sound so much like my ex. Now, I have to say something to you that I have told so many girls lately: it's never too late. You can't change the past, but you have the opportunity to make things right in the present. Don't tell yourself that nothing can be done in this lifetime; you're just slipping back to your insecure ways. You will always have control of things in your life even when it seems all too chaotic. Don't just accept--do. If you want it, then take it. Really no, my situation can't work out. I messed up first time around, he dumped me, we got back together, then HE messed it up. As he broke up with me both times, and the second time I did a LOT to improve, I am doing nothing but letting him get on with it. If he wants me back he will come back. As the dumped I am not grovelling or begging. As I said the second time around I was an angel to him and he treated me badly, so I guess we evened it out. But the ball is in his court and he only wants me 'for the future'
JaggedRoad Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Ah... I see. I was under the assumption that you were the dumper. Well, best of luck to you.
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Ah... I see. I was under the assumption that you were the dumper. Well, best of luck to you. No the dumped. I would never have dumped him! And thankyou
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