EmptyPromises Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 your all gonna kill me.i had a party last night & since my good guy friends are good friends with my ex i thought to be the bigger person & invite him . he texted me throughout the day saying random stuff like what he did that morning, if i wanted him to bring me dinner. ignored all. so the party was fine, no problems. we were civil even played beer pong against & with eachother. his friends left & he was too drunk to drive so i told him he could sleep on the couch. he didnt sleep on the couch.i had this awesome idea(at the time) to tease him, make me him want me and then turn him down. so i did. being drunk & stupid i was saying all these things that would turn him on. he got turned on and i turned him down. even tho i wanted ot hook up with him i just kept picturing him having sex with another girl.i told him to go f*ck this girl hes hooking up with. we started fighting. he kept denying that he has gotten with neone besides making out with one girl since weve broken up. he kept trying to cuddle, was telling me he loved me, he missed me, that the information i heard was false. we fought til about 530 in the morning. i started crying telling him he had me and that he really broke my heart by getting with someone else. all of a sudden he got so upset, he started crying. we went to bed, woke up, kept trying to cuddle with me, was touching me, etc. i kept telling him im not hooking up with him that he ruined his chance. we layed in bed til about 3 & then got lunch. he paid. idk what to do. i feel better talking to him because he does have a great personality. idk whether to believe him when he says he loves me & misses me & that he hasnt gotten with ne one. what do i do about this? just keep doing my thing ? should i stay friends with him? just let it go?
logitech Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 I am sorry but you've gone 100% against what people recommend on these forums. Is it worth people giving you any more advice now?? You are the one that told us your relationship was abusive both during it and after the break up. You know where we all stand on this. Yet in your mind you are so hell bent on getting him back as though it will prove something. You have to sort yourself out first.
Author EmptyPromises Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 i know i just wanna make sure im not making a mistake. maybe i caused alot of the problems? maybe im the one that was just so uptight and annoying throughout the relationship? im seeing my therapist in a couple of days ill talk to him about it.
Ronni_W Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 what do i do about this? just keep doing my thing ? should i stay friends with him? just let it go? What do you WANT to do? I'd suggest maybe get clear on that, and then only do and say things that support what YOU want. Otherwise you'll be confusing yourself...and sending confusing messages to him, and acting in ways that you may regret after the fact.
Author EmptyPromises Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 thanks ronni. i feel like i mess with his head way too much. even when we were together i would say things i didnt mean or say the opposite of what i wanted like -- "dont talk to me anymore" " im gonna find someone else" etc. even now im telling him to move on even tho thats not what i want. even if its the right thing to do.
Ronni_W Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 i would say things i didnt mean or say the opposite of what i wanted like... even now im telling him to move on even tho thats not what i want. even if its the right thing to do. EP, I don't know your back-story but it sounds as if, intellectually, you know what's what but then maybe you let your emotional urges and impulses get the better of you(?) In any case, though, I think that's a good idea to speak with your therapist. Best of luck.
Author EmptyPromises Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 yes thats exactly what im like. i jump to conclusions too quick, i speak before i think i say things i dont mean. urgh
northstar1 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 your all gonna kill me.i had a party last night & since my good guy friends are good friends with my ex i thought to be the bigger person & invite him . he texted me throughout the day saying random stuff like what he did that morning, if i wanted him to bring me dinner. ignored all. so the party was fine, no problems. we were civil even played beer pong against & with eachother. his friends left & he was too drunk to drive so i told him he could sleep on the couch. he didnt sleep on the couch.i had this awesome idea(at the time) to tease him, make me him want me and then turn him down. so i did. being drunk & stupid i was saying all these things that would turn him on. he got turned on and i turned him down. even tho i wanted ot hook up with him i just kept picturing him having sex with another girl.i told him to go f*ck this girl hes hooking up with. we started fighting. he kept denying that he has gotten with neone besides making out with one girl since weve broken up. he kept trying to cuddle, was telling me he loved me, he missed me, that the information i heard was false. we fought til about 530 in the morning. i started crying telling him he had me and that he really broke my heart by getting with someone else. all of a sudden he got so upset, he started crying. we went to bed, woke up, kept trying to cuddle with me, was touching me, etc. i kept telling him im not hooking up with him that he ruined his chance. we layed in bed til about 3 & then got lunch. he paid. idk what to do. i feel better talking to him because he does have a great personality. idk whether to believe him when he says he loves me & misses me & that he hasnt gotten with ne one. what do i do about this? just keep doing my thing ? should i stay friends with him? just let it go? I can't remember all the details of your story, but I believe you are in college right? I'm going to be blunt. College relationships are often fickle and rarely last. It's a time when people are having fun, interests change, hormones run wild, and there are vast opportunities for people to meet others. Of the dozens of relationships I witnessed in college, maybe 2 have survived and ended up in marriage/long term. This guy might have a great personality, but this is likely a game to him. You are playing hard to get, or ignoring him, and so he's gonna now pursue you and try and get you back. And if he does, he'll most like still try and date other girls. So, you can keep up the 'game' and likely end up with a lot of drama and heartache, or you can move on.
Author EmptyPromises Posted September 28, 2009 Author Posted September 28, 2009 thank you northstar. he left some things here from last night & i asked him to pick them up , i told him he hurt me and that i cant keep doing this cycle over and over its so tiring. i want him to get his things so that we dont have an excuse to see eachother later in the week, month, whatever. should i stay friendly with him or go back to NC?
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