Caligirl19 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I've been talking to a guy for about a month or so and things were going fine until two weeks ago. He just stopped texting, calling, and everything. I finally got fed up with it and sent him an angry text, he responded and told me what's going on. I felt really bad about the angry text and told him how sorry I was and the reason why I sent it. He understood. When he finally did tell me what's going on he told me that he loved me in the process and that he didn't mean to avoid me it was just that a lot has been going on. I was speechless because I've never had a guy told me straight up that he loved me. When he was done talking he asked me how I felt. I couldn't answer him so he just told me to think about it and give him a call. So I did and that night I told him how I felt. I basically told him that I have a hard time expressing my feelings to anyone including family verbally at least. Expressing feelings to me means a sign of weakness and I hate that feeling. I also told him that I really care about him a lot and that I could see myself falling for him but I have a big fear of falling in love. He responded to that saying, "well don't you think you're in love if you're telling me how you feel?" I couldn't answer that. Ever since then I've been thinking about it. I know I'm smitten by him. So yesterday night when I was looking through my phone I was reading a text he sent me after I sent the angry text. He said maybe I should find a guy more closer to me and that I don't need a guy like him stressing me out. Well I went out with friends and while we were out guys were flirting with me and stuff but I wasn't into it. That's when I came to a revelation... there isn't a guy in my area that I want. I only want the guy I'm talking to. I've been writing all day about how to tell him this but anything I come up with doesn't make since. I don't know, I dance and that's how I express myself through dance but it kinda hard to show him due to distance. Any advice would be great.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I see some red flags here Caligirl. He says he loves you after two weeks? I say two because he was only in touch for two and then out of touch for two. That's just not normal and when someone falls in love quickly they also often fall out of love quickly. He runs hot and cold. Even if he has a lot going on in his life, doesn't someone you love make you feel better, not provide a burden? If you're both messed up about being expressive with your feelings that's a bad combo. You both need to work on that before getting into a relationship with anyone. And I guess it goes back to him saying he loves you after two weeks. That is a huge red flag. I get the feeling you have a fear of intimacy, which is what attracts you to this guy. He's emotionally unavailable and far away. The perfect combo.
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