shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Often the guys I'm attracted to have a slightly cocky attitude that I find attractive, yet that same cockiness in most other men would be completely repulsive. Do any other women find this to be true? Why is it that some men can get away with being arrogant while others can't? I still haven't figured out what makes the difference for me. It's not usually about how attractive they are. I think it's partly sense of humor. If a guy has a sense of humor that's really sharp and similar in style to mine, his cockiness can be a turn on. Also his cockiness can't be combined with vanity. Any trace of vanity in a guy seems utterly effeminate/metro to me. How do other women feel?
alphamale Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Why is it that some men can get away with being arrogant while others can't? looks, money, power, not caring what others think, being an authority figure
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 looks, money, power, not caring what others think, being an authority figure I don't think it's as simple as that. There are plenty of good-looking, rich a-holes who I can't stand. It has more to do with the details of their personality and overall presentation.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I think it's partly sense of humor. If a guy has a sense of humor that's really sharp and similar in style to mine, his cockiness can be a turn on. Also his cockiness can't be combined with vanity. Any trace of vanity in a guy seems utterly effeminate/metro to me. How do other women feel? I think it's him not taking himself too seriously that makes the difference for me. And a sense of humor. Then it's fun and you feel good when you're with them, so that's a turn-on.
alphamale Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I don't think it's as simple as that. There are plenty of good-looking, rich a-holes who I can't stand. It has more to do with the details of their personality and overall presentation. what is your definition of "arrogant"?
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 I think it's him not taking himself too seriously that makes the difference for me. And a sense of humor. Then it's fun and you feel good when you're with them, so that's a turn-on. Yes, I think you may have hit the nail on the head! He has to have a sense of humor regarding himself. Also his arrogance has to be at least somewhat justified in that he is a cool, entertaining, intelligent and funny guy.
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 what is your definition of "arrogant"? A confident, don't give a **** attitude. It's partly in facial expression, posture and demeanor. A guy who likes to banter and be sarcastic.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Yes, I think you may have hit the nail on the head! He has to have a sense of humor regarding himself. Also his arrogance has to be at least somewhat justified in that he is a cool, entertaining, intelligent and funny guy. Right. The fun, arrogant guys know things, know how to get what they want, have fun doing it and are never cruel.
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 I think it's also a combination of slight cockiness and mischievousness.
alphamale Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 A confident, don't give a **** attitude. It's partly in facial expression, posture and demeanor. A guy who likes to banter and be sarcastic. thats not "arrogance"
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I think it's also a combination of slight cockiness and mischievousness. Yes! Definitely. That's really part of having fun, not taking things too seriously. Also, I think they can keep your mind engaged. Not because you're on-guard but because they tend to be original thinkers. They also need to be intelligent to be fun, for me.
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 thats not "arrogance" It definitely is, because it often includes the guy being a bit of a prick to other people. I'm talking about the kind of guy I'd want to date or screw, not have LTR with.
alphamale Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 It definitely is, because it often includes the guy being a bit of a prick to other people. I'm talking about the kind of guy I'd want to date or screw, not have LTR with. arrogant – (adjective) 1.making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud: an arrogant public official. 2.characterized by or proceeding from arrogance: arrogant claims.
Thaddeus Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Shadow, what you're describing is old hat in the PUA community where it's referred to as a "cocky-funny" personality ("a combination of slight cockiness and mischievousness") with a sprinkling of "negs" ("often includes the guy being a bit of a prick to other people"). But - wait, don't tell me - you can spot a PUA a mile away and never fall for it, right?
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Shadow, what you're describing is old hat in the PUA community where it's referred to as a "cocky-funny" personality ("a combination of slight cockiness and mischievousness") with a sprinkling of "negs" ("often includes the guy being a bit of a prick to other people"). But - wait, don't tell me - you can spot a PUA a mile away and never fall for it, right? Yeah, because it has to be natural. I've seen the youtube videos of Mystery and other PUAs and their routines just seem so forced. One of the requirements is that the guy has to be genuinely funny, which Mystery is not. He has a puerile sense of humor.
Trialbyfire Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 If you're attracted to a guy, you're going to put up with more crap, than from someone you're not attracted to.
carhill Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Factors regarding the man's physicality, demeanor, pheromones and aura are communicating with your emotional center subconsciously, creating interest. Perhaps there is an essence of compatibility with this man, your subconscious says. Or, not
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 arrogant – (adjective) 1.making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud: an arrogant public official. 2.characterized by or proceeding from arrogance: arrogant claims. Alphamale is apparently not fun-arrogant.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Factors regarding the man's physicality, demeanor, pheromones and aura are communicating with your emotional center subconsciously, creating interest. Perhaps there is an essence of compatibility with this man, your subconscious says. Or, not I will say, for me, I know what I'm good at and what I'm not good at and I appreciate other people who are that way, too. Modesty is not really appealing to me. BUT, I also don't take myself terribly seriously all the time. I like to goof around and be mischevious. So, someone who is similar does appeal to me. It's not being a player. I am a complete incompetent when it comes to manipulating others. BUt it is also not something that everyone can connect with in a harmless way.
alphamale Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 basically what it comes down to shadowplay is that if a man is "arrogant", whatever your definition is, he has to have something to offset or negate the "arrogance"... personally i think it is normal to alternate between both good and bad depending upon the situation at hand.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 personally i think it is normal to alternate between both good and bad depending upon the situation at hand. Good point. None of us is one layer. We all have shades of lots of things.
Author shadowplay Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 basically what it comes down to shadowplay is that if a man is "arrogant", whatever your definition is, he has to have something to offset or negate the "arrogance"... personally i think it is normal to alternate between both good and bad depending upon the situation at hand. But the strange thing with guys like this is their arrogance/cockiness whatever you want to call it is one of the main draws for me. I might not notice them without it. Whereas another guy who seems conceited will be totally repugnant to me.
johan Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 You'd love it in me, sweetheart. Of course, no one has ever referred to my arrogance as "slight". Or anything else about me, for that matter.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 But the strange thing with guys like this is their arrogance/cockiness whatever you want to call it is one of the main draws for me. I might not notice them without it. Whereas another guy who seems conceited will be totally repugnant to me. I totally get it. And what else matters but my understanding?
Jersey Shortie Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Often the guys I'm attracted to have a slightly cocky attitude that I find attractive, yet that same cockiness in most other men would be completely repulsive. Do any other women find this to be true? Why is it that some men can get away with being arrogant while others can't? I still haven't figured out what makes the difference for me. It's not usually about how attractive they are. I think it's partly sense of humor. If a guy has a sense of humor that's really sharp and similar in style to mine, his cockiness can be a turn on. Also his cockiness can't be combined with vanity. Any trace of vanity in a guy seems utterly effeminate/metro to me. How do other women feel? I am personally turned off by the cocky-arrogant men, even if they are funny. But then again, I prefer a more clever self-depricating wit. Confident men are a total turn on but thats different from the cocky guys I think we are talking about. Cocky guys make me want to roll my eyes and actually make me feel superior to them. But I suspect your attraction to some guys with a cocky attitude and others that are cocky that you aren't attracted to, is just basic chemicals. There are some hot men out there that I am turned off by, and there are other hot guys out there that I am turned on by. There are some stereotypcially not hot guys I have been attracted to and others not at all. Bio-Chemicals I guess. I just spent the day watching the Jets kick butt with a steady stream of mist/drizzle with 100 cocky-beer drinking guys screaming like monkies around me....yeah give me the strong, tall, steady, quite confident type anytime.
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