Heartbroken-idiot Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 So after our big talk about how she wouldn't be back with me and what not I decide not to text her the day after but text her today only to get a reply saying "I don't understand you, you blank me then send a happy message" I txt back saying when did I blank you and she replies with "yesterday" I tried to ring her and she ignored it and I have text her a few times and she's just blanking me, I don't get her, she does genuinly seem to love me still but just because I didn't text her yday she is like this, she never texts me first either. Why could she be doing this?
hoping2heal Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Okay, this is why I asked yesterday why you thought you two had any business getting back together. My apologies I didn't have a chance to further explain what I meant. It appears to me that since this break up happened, the two of you engaged and continue to engage in a number of unhealthy behaviors,atitudes, practices regarding eachother. I'm not sure why you believe that in such an unhealthy and dysfunctional state you should reconcile a relationship. All I see is a bunch of mind games and childish behavior going round and round in a cyclical pattern. There are NO boundries in this whatever you want to call it, which is the first sign it's "ill". It sounds like no boundaries was a very common theme for your relationship, and for that reason it's no wonder it failed. If you two do really care for eachother and want to reconcile A few things need to happen A) you need to BOTH openly profress that. B) you need to both develop and STICK TO healthy boundaries. Until that happens there will be no healthy relationship that grows and flourishes and the two of you will remain stagnant no matter which title you choose to give yourselves.
DustySaltus Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 So after our big talk about how she wouldn't be back with me and what not I decide not to text her the day after but text her today only to get a reply saying "I don't understand you, you blank me then send a happy message" I txt back saying when did I blank you and she replies with "yesterday" I tried to ring her and she ignored it and I have text her a few times and she's just blanking me, I don't get her, she does genuinly seem to love me still but just because I didn't text her yday she is like this, she never texts me first either. Why could she be doing this? She wants to be in control of the situation. She doesn't know what she wants right now but wants to keep you on the proverbial "back burner". She likes drama. She wants you to be ok with being friends to lessen the guilt, because to her whoever doesn't have the guilt, has the power.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 well do i just leave her now untill she talks to me again, i mean ive sent a couple of sms to her just asking to talk and also telling her about the tickets we have tomorrow night to see a dance show she liked. shes ignored the messages so i guess i leave it untill she speaks to me. as for the long run, well i dunno, i dont think she is the type of girl who wants to play games, she never really has before, shes always been so sweet, it just seems that everything is bloody hard.
hoping2heal Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 well do i just leave her now untill she talks to me again, i mean ive sent a couple of sms to her just asking to talk and also telling her about the tickets we have tomorrow night to see a dance show she liked. shes ignored the messages so i guess i leave it untill she speaks to me. as for the long run, well i dunno, i dont think she is the type of girl who wants to play games, she never really has before, shes always been so sweet, it just seems that everything is bloody hard. Well that's weird, because it seems like all this has been nothing but one big game. That doesn't mean she does it on purpose (lack of boundaries will do that for ya) but it IS happening. You two having sex after splitting? BIG no no..and that was just the begining of the end. Seriously, you two need to have talk with one another and decide if either of you plan to reconcile or not, and if she says no I don't care what you THINK you know, you need to walk away. You seem to think that the two of you destroying and taining one another's memory in this cycle of BS is better than not being in eachother's lives at all, I guarantee you that's not true.
Author Heartbroken-idiot Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 I know no contact would end all of this, it would take her out my life and she probably wouldn't come after me but I'm scared, i can't seem to get over her, I'm scared if I walk away I'll regret it in time to come, I have never walks away from anything. God I just feel like why is this happening, all I've tried to do is be the best I can be and she throws it at me sometimes and others she perfectly lovely to me and makes me feel great. It's like my life is a giant rollercoaster going up and then hitting the massive lows.
hoping2heal Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I know no contact would end all of this, it would take her out my life and she probably wouldn't come after me but I'm scared, i can't seem to get over her, I'm scared if I walk away I'll regret it in time to come, I have never walks away from anything. God I just feel like why is this happening, all I've tried to do is be the best I can be and she throws it at me sometimes and others she perfectly lovely to me and makes me feel great. It's like my life is a giant rollercoaster going up and then hitting the massive lows. Really? Now, I'm not going to say anything about wether she would or wouldn't come back. That's here nor there. But let's take your angle of it; you go NC, she never comes after you..you REALLY..REALLY think you're going to regret cutting someone out of your life who doesn't care about you mutually the way you care for them? Do you really believe you'll regret not healing, moving on, and meeting a girl who loves you as much as you love her? You believe you'll regret all that so much more..then going around in a dysfunctional cycle hanging by whatever small thread you are given by someone who isn't willing to the step up to the plate with you .. You think THAT will be the big time regret? I'd think that one over
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