sweetnothings Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I already posted a thread on this but it is bugging me. Three months ago my ex just stopped talking to me, and that was his way of breaking up with me. Well, he sent a message the other day on myspace, which was very surprising. He tells me that it was a huge mistake to let me go, and also the way he did it. He was supposedly scared of the relationship , but he says now he realizes he had nothing to be scared of. He says he still loves me as well. I haven't really spoken to him yet, but I can't help but wonder if he really wants to get back with me. I am honestly not sure if I would even date him again, but I think its natural to wonder about this sort of things, and plus I still do have feelings for him. There are just some reasons I think it might be best if we weren't a couple. I know this is just based on a few of the things he said, but in general does it sound like he is thinking of trying to get back with me? I was thinking of it this way. If he thought it was best we broke up , why would he say it was a huge mistake to let me go? And the reason he wanted to cut all ties was because he was scared of the relationship for some reason, but he says now he realizes nothing to be scared of. I'm confused and eagerly awaiting to possibly hear more from him, but just felt like getting more opinions based on some things he said in his message.
Author sweetnothings Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 so no one has any opinions on this? i guess in a way i do want to get back with him because why is this bothering me so bad
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 sweetnothings, sorry to be kind of harsh here, but you need to grow some self-respect. Why on earth would you want to get back with a guy who is capable of stopping talking to you with no explanantion? Yeah, he says it was a mistake, but my god, I cannot imagine how devoid of conscience someone has to be to be capable of doing that. Ask yourself if you are okay if he does it again. If you are, then go back to him. My guess is he met someone else and that didn't work out.
Author sweetnothings Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 sweetnothings, sorry to be kind of harsh here, but you need to grow some self-respect. Why on earth would you want to get back with a guy who is capable of stopping talking to you with no explanantion? Yeah, he says it was a mistake, but my god, I cannot imagine how devoid of conscience someone has to be to be capable of doing that. Ask yourself if you are okay if he does it again. If you are, then go back to him. My guess is he met someone else and that didn't work out. Well we kept fighting, and so I was pretty sure that was the reason, but still wrong of him to not have any closure or tell me its over. It's not like I had no clue as to what happened. I don't know if I would get back with him, but I guess I'm being open minded about it. I still have feelings so its hard to not think about it. I was just curious if what he said was an indication that he wanted to. I'm not saying I definitely would.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Well we kept fighting, and so I was pretty sure that was the reason, but still wrong of him to not have any closure or tell me its over. It's not like I had no clue as to what happened. I don't know if I would get back with him, but I guess I'm being open minded about it. I still have feelings so its hard to not think about it. I was just curious if what he said was an indication that he wanted to. I'm not saying I definitely would. It definitely sounds like he wants you to re-invest emotionally in him. If he's seeing someone else he'll want to juggle the two of you. If he hasn't come out and said he wants to be your bf then he's probably keeping you invested with the possibility of a relationship. Ya know? I have been where you are now and it's just not a situation you want to stay in. IMO
Bejita463 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 If he can do something that messed up to you once, he can do it twice. He can do it three times. In my opinion, it'd be better to find someone who has not demonstrated the ability to treat you as though you mean nothing. If he actually believes he is in love with you while being able to do something like that, his idea of love is warped. More likely, he is lying. Why? Who knows. My guess is whoever he left you for isn't working out. That makes a lot more sense to me than that he just randomly decided one day "Oh. Know what? I shouldn't have done that thing I did months ago." If you want to go for it, I wish you the best of luck, but don't just give this guy the benefit of the doubt. He has given you no reason to do that, and every reason not to.
Author sweetnothings Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 It definitely sounds like he wants you to re-invest emotionally in him. If he's seeing someone else he'll want to juggle the two of you. If he hasn't come out and said he wants to be your bf then he's probably keeping you invested with the possibility of a relationship. Ya know? I have been where you are now and it's just not a situation you want to stay in. IMO well we kept fighting at the time, and he claims he loved me so much he couldn't break up with me so he cut all ties. so now he tells me he should have talked to me and all this mess. i'm not sure what prompted him to write me now after all this time. i have a feeling he can't find any other prospects and he is wondering if he made a mistake with me. if i knew that, it would make me very upset. he already knows i was very upset with him
Bejita463 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 he claims he loved me so much he couldn't break up with me so he cut all ties. ...wow. That is.. I... wow.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 If he can do something that messed up to you once, he can do it twice. He can do it three times. In my opinion, it'd be better to find someone who has not demonstrated the ability to treat you as though you mean nothing. If he actually believes he is in love with you while being able to do something like that, his idea of love is warped. More likely, he is lying. Why? Who knows.My guess is whoever he left you for isn't working out. That makes a lot more sense to me than that he just randomly decided one day "Oh. Know what? I shouldn't have done that thing I did months ago." If you want to go for it, I wish you the best of luck, but don't just give this guy the benefit of the doubt. He has given you no reason to do that, and every reason not to. Best message of the day! I wish people could post this on their wall to ensure they do not keep going back to creeps. It's amazing how our minds warp what makes sense, the truth, into our daydreams of the potential of someone we have invested in emotionally.
loveslife Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 he claims he loved me so much he couldn't break up with me so he cut all ties. Wow. There are no words. No, wait, I have some: You go back to this guy and he will never respect you for falling for so much BS.
Author sweetnothings Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 If he can do something that messed up to you once, he can do it twice. He can do it three times. In my opinion, it'd be better to find someone who has not demonstrated the ability to treat you as though you mean nothing. If he actually believes he is in love with you while being able to do something like that, his idea of love is warped. More likely, he is lying. Why? Who knows. My guess is whoever he left you for isn't working out. That makes a lot more sense to me than that he just randomly decided one day "Oh. Know what? I shouldn't have done that thing I did months ago." If you want to go for it, I wish you the best of luck, but don't just give this guy the benefit of the doubt. He has given you no reason to do that, and every reason not to. He didn't leave me for anyone, or as far as I know. Did I say that was the reason? We both contributed to the fights, so neither one of us did anything that wrong, to completely not be forgiven for. what he did do majorly wrong, was not telling me it was over and talking to me about it. he just gave me the silent treatment. of course, how do i know he didn't cheat on me, or he lied about everything. see, this is why i probably couldn't be happy with him again. i would have a very hard time trusting him after all of this. there is no excuse for him not saying anything to me when breaking up.
Author sweetnothings Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 yes weird. what do you think that even means? the comment "i loved you so much I couldn't break up with you, so I cut all ties". i don't get it. it doesn't make sense. maybe he can't deal with the confrontation? he seems to have experienced a lot of trauma in relationships in the past. i don't know
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