women who reject someone for being good and kind are not the type of women you want

[loveslife]

I say this from personal experience.

 

When I rejected good and kind men purely on the basis of them being "too nice" or "too good" etc. it was because I was in a place where I did not know how to have a healthy relationship.

 

I'm not talking about rejecting doormat "nice" guys. They're a whole different kind of unhealthy.

 

Now that I know what I deserve (good and kind and balanced) I am much better able to recognize and appreciate good men.

 

So, I truly do believe that being a player or a bad boy will indeed get you women. But they're not the type who know how to exist in a healthy relationship. If they were, they wouldn't be able to exist with a jerk.

[Jersey Shortie]

Being a nice person alone, male or female, doesn't give you an automatic green light. You need to bring more to the table then just being "nice". That doesn't make a girl unhealthy just because she doesn't pick the "nice guy".

[canadaguy98]

theres a flipside to this as well...

 

some women who aren't ready for a healthy relationship deliberately pick the 'nice guy'. i've been involved with a couple of these and they are horrible manipulating women, they play one side of the fence and adore you, until your hooked and then the flip around and pull out all the stops to manipulate you for your nice nature. they tried to manipulate the arrogant bad boy player types, but it just didnt work because the player had too much on the go to stand around. the nice guy has a real interest in making things work and they play on that like emotional vampires.

 

--

 

that said, I'm a nice guy and I've never really had a lot of problems getting access to women. i've had super hot girlfriends and girlfriends who i was more interested in their personality young and old. I'm a bit surprised at all the guys in here who are beaking at how 'women are so stupid they only go for jerks'. I've found that yes, neurotic drama queen women tend to go for jerks, but real good quality women look for some sort of a balance.

 

its not that the 'nice guys' are 'too nice'... its that often people who lack self confidence try to make it up by being 'extra nice'... unfortunately for those without the gonads... self confidence is a real aphrodesiac for women and no amount of 'being nice' will make up for a lack of it

[loveslife]

that said, I'm a nice guy and I've never really had a lot of problems getting access to women. i've had super hot girlfriends and girlfriends who i was more interested in their personality young and old. I'm a bit surprised at all the guys in here who are beaking at how 'women are so stupid they only go for jerks'. I've found that yes, neurotic drama queen women tend to go for jerks, but real good quality women look for some sort of a balance.

 

 

The highlighted part - that was my impetus for starting this thread. It seems really silly to me to hear all these men talk about how stupid women are for going for jerks. But really not all women go for jerks and the one who do might not be worth catching.

 

So, being a good person is better. You get the quality women. JMO

[carhill]

But really not all women go for jerks and the one who do might not be worth catching.

 

Yes, I have always understood this on some level but going through MC helped me become emotionally comfortable with that understanding. It's like I'm happy for them now as they fly on by, whereas prior I was going "hey!, WTF?". Someone for everyone and I'm glad they found someone

[loveslife]

Yes, I have always understood this on some level but going through MC helped me become emotionally comfortable with that understanding. It's like I'm happy for them now as they fly on by, whereas prior I was going "hey!, WTF?". Someone for everyone and I'm glad they found someone

 

I think we need to learn to be happy with ourselves. It seems like you have learned so much through the experience of your marriage and MC and all of it. I think you've really abosrbed it, too. So when you're ready to be out there again I know you will be a totally better and new level of understanding of so many things.