Trinitron Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Hey all, I guess I've come to a place where I need to either fish or cut bait, so I need advice. Some back ground on me. Divorce in 2002, tried to reconcile until 2004, it ended bad. I haven't dated since. I've been pretty bitter. A lttle over a month ago I met a woman who works in my office a couple times a week, we talked a couple of times, I gave her my number, and she called. Since then we've logged hours on the phone and been out about 10 times. She's a single Mom with one 16 year old living with her and a 22 year old living near me, she lives an hour and a half away, and has more baggage than anyone could ever imagine. To her credit she's been very upfront, she doesn't want anything super serious right now(she doesn't have time for the drama), so right now we're at the hugging and kissing stage. Ufortunately for me I'm pretty old fashioned, hugging and kissing mean something to me. When we're together there is gobs of chemistry and attraction its almost hard to keep our hands off each other. When we're not together and talking on the phone it seems vague...almost like I'm an afterthought. She's not one for wearing her feelings on her sleeve but I am, so I've already made the mistake of being to needy, to available, and I have trust issues. Why is she giving me so much rope here? I'm pretty sure most women would have cut me loose weeks ago with tendencies I've shown, so what gives? Why am I still here? She knows I've fallen for her, and I know that she sees us as more than friends but how much more I haven't a clue. If everything was based upon how she acts when we're together I'd feel pretty good about things. She's told me I'm the only one she's romantically involved with and that she doesn't kiss her friends. Lately I've backed off a bit letting her call if she wants to talk and not bugging her about going out. Lately we've done stuff on Tuesdays and Fridays, I'm undecided about what to do this Tuesday, I really want to see her but thinking about not asking her out anymore just to see what her intrest level is and maybe where I fit in priority wise. The past month has been bittersweet, the times we've spent together and on the phone have been wonderfull, the time I've spent overthinking this relationship has turned my insides and more importantly my heart into jello. Option 1: We meet on Tuesday and I tell her that I really want more than she's willing to give and bow out gracefully, then start the painfull process of getting over her. Or............ Option 2: I sit here with the status quo and either learn how to deal with this relationship, or continue to toss my heart and soul in the blender. Right now I don't want to regret anything so it would be tough to disconnect. Opinions? Trinitron
Forsaken Heart Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 It seems you have deep feelings for that woman. It also looks to me that she also has special feelings for you too, but unfortunately, she's scared or is just nervous of telling that to you. What you can do is, confront her directly and ask her whether or not she is serious about this relationship. If she is serious, and agrees to be with you, then all fine and dandy. But if she thinks otherwise and wants you as a friend only, I don't think it is a good idea to get that close with her. Stay at the distance she wants you to. But don't get away from her. Try to be with her as much as you can. Remember not to do anything rash and irrational, and hold the best impression possible. Also, don't get sad if things don't get your way. That's just life.
Author Trinitron Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Hey Forsaken Heart, yeah, I know she feels for me within the framework she's designed for me to reside in. My problem is I don't know if I can wait for her to figure out if this will ever move beyond what it is now, my sister is 2 years younger than me and she said I probably won't know if this will move further until Janurary. Mainly due to her independance, her kids, and her amazing amount of baggage. That said I'm still not ready to let her go although recently I've thought it to be the better part of valour. Thanks for the help. Trinitron
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