iamwho Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Hey, I've been looking around these forums ever since by first break up last year but haven't posted until.. now I guess. Well anyway, I guess I'll post my story here. Before you read, I'll tell you that I am but a senior in high-school, finishing it up. I really do not have much experience in this 'relationship' business, but at the moment am pretty much torn. Just felt like writing and getting some input from you guys would ease the hurt yaknow? So I met this girl around early July of this year during missions. While we were there, we didn't really talk much. We mostly just did our work and did our purpose during the time there. After that week, I decided to add her as a friend on Facebook, just for the sake of making a new friend, no hidden intentions. Through Facebook, I got her number and we would just text casually every now and then. But this is when things began speeding up. One day after texting for a bit, she IM's me on AIM. So our conversation moves onto there. We would start talking more about ourselves, open up to each other until suddenly, one day I realized I had some feelings for the girl. I tell her this, which caught her off guard and she didn't have an immediate response then. (By then we would talk on the phone at nights). But a couple days later, she tells me that she feels the same way about me, and from there everything begins. She would tell me that I am her ideal guy and such. At this point, summer vacation is just about ending, and we manage to see each other about twice. (She lives about 2 hours away from me). As soon as school started however, things began to change at a quick pace. We were both busy with our high school lives, but still managed to phone every night. However, it seemed to me her level of interest was sharply declining. I did everything I can to prevent this. To make a long story a bit shorter.. She told me last night that she 'sees no hope' for us in the future and that it would be better off to end it now. Now I understand, relationship of a couple weeks doesn't seem like much, but in those couple of weeks, I guess my feelings for her experienced some sort of exponential growth. But the crazy thing is, she tells me she still cares for me, that she still likes me, that she still thinks about me. This is what I don't understand. To me it seemed like she was giving up all too early. But finally she told me one thing. She told me that she would always be comparing me to her ex and that her feelings were completely different than from when she was with her ex. Apparently whenever she would be with her ex, she saw hope no matter how much he hurt her. And then there's me, the so-called 'ideal guy', who she sees no hope with. So in the end, as far as my understanding goes, she did not want to continue comparing me with her ex, as she felt it was unfair for me. She felt that I deserved more and as a result broke up with me. To recap, this relationship technically did not last long, but my feelings for her are as if I've went out her for years. She tells me she still likes me and has feelings for me, but does not want to be comparing me with her ex. In the end, I told her that I understood and she started crying buckets; I realize this is hard for her too. I don't think a NC would be as effective at this point for the lack of memories and such, though I haven't spoken to her since last night. I was thinking of calling her tomorrow night with a clear mind, to be strictly friends, just as we were before we got into the relationship. I know, I've read enough 'ex's can't be just friends', but I think our relationship was a bit short for that to have its full effect. So I'm thinking of keeping everything casual again until she completely clears her mind of her ex. This does seem foolish to me, but at the same time I just want to be with her, whether it be as friends or as a couple. There's more to this story in the middle parts, but I've decided to omit them for the sake of this post's length.. Just any kind of input would be helpful. Thanks guys.
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