Just recieved a text from her, what is she trying to do?

[Lynx331]

Ok guys I need some help. You all seem to have great opinions about how my ex is and why she does things. Let me just say, I am still NC. I recieved the text and prepared myself to read it.. So I wouldn't want to text back. What do you guys think of this..?

 

"Mike I know right now is not the best time to be contacting you but I have things that I have to say to you that I didn't have the guts to say before. To

start off I'm very angry with you. When I met you I was doing fine. I learned how to be independent and not to depend on a man or love for any reason. N

ow I'm not saying that its all your fault but I know that when you met me I was fragile and still vuneralble and in some way I think you knew that. I tri

ed for so long and so very hard not to love you at all and in the long run when I let you in you hurt me very bad. I know your probably like why is she b

othering me and telling me this.. I'm not doing it to hurt your feelings in telling you because I honestly can't believe you turned into the man I knew i

n my heart that you would never be. I know that my love was absent but damn it you always made me feel like I was this monster. You would always say you

You try so hard but mike it shouldn't have been this hard. I guess I'm in a weird place right now and I have learned so much about who I am as a person a

nd what I need to survive as a person and I am proud of it. I tried so hard to win you back and make you understand what I was going threw and even begge

d you crying in your arms and that was not enough for you which should have told me something that night. But no instead I continued to fight and now I r

ealize it was for all the wrong reasons. I really hope that one day you figure out who you are and what you need because its so obvious to me now that yo

u have been walking around on this planet for 22 years not knowing who you are and where you belong. I think that's why you chose me... I knew who I was

all along I just got lost along the way when the long list of bad things in the past 7 years have happened to me. I can see how you run to people for

Reach out to people. I have finally figured you out after a year and a half. I really think that this has all worked out for the best and I'm sure you ha

ve by now too. I listen to the hinder song without you and it gives me prospective into how we really were going to turn out. I have finally started the

healing process and it really is working out to my benefit. Your parents hated me and I didn't make you happy so that was easier for you on your half. An

d well if it wasn't for my amazing friends and family I would probably still be begging for you to come back to me. I don't expect a response to this I j

ust needed to vent things to you because I'm the kind of person who sits and thinks about the what if's and well not anymore its not healthy there is no

what if's with us mike there is no more us and I hope that you are starting to move on. I hope that you meet someone who will chase the memories of me

Me away for you. Yes I am still angry with you but I hope you have the best possible future you can. And I hope you take really good care of yourself and

your future family. Ok I'm done ranting and raving. Good luck mike and goodbye"

 

very curious to see what you guys make of this.. Thank you all again for your time

[Thaddeus]

This is what you do, in order:

 

Select message

 

Delete

 

I think there might be a decent movie on this afternoon. You might check out Inglorious Basterds if you're into Tarantino-style stuff. Or District 9 if you like sci-fi.

 

My point?

 

It's not even worth taking the 1 minute to read it. Seriously. It's just typical ranting, meaningless background noise.

[caramel c]

she TEXTED that to you? really, TEXTED?

 

I wonder how her thumb is doing.

[Exit]

What do you what do WE think of it? Seems pretty clear to me. She wanted to get her little rant out of the way, and said that there will be no future for you and she is moving on. Case closed.

[Thaddeus]

She wanted to get her little rant out of the way, and said that there will be no future for you and she is moving on. Case closed.

Exactly. She probably thinks of it as "closure." Fine. Whatever. She just wanted the last word, that's all that closure is anyway.

 

Select message

 

Delete

[UrKillinMeSmalls]

Lol she's just raving and trying to blame you. The absolute best thing you could do is delete it and never respond. That will have her wondering for a very, very long time. If she wants the last word she can have it, it's not going to make her happy though lol. Forget all about it.

[Odyssey]

Hey Lynx, wow i thought my ex was bad. Did she really text all that?!?

Anyways, that text was not really for you, it was all about her, clearing the air and closure. She's moving on...

 

Time for you to do the same. Hit that delete button dude.

[hoping2heal]

Ugh. I couldn't even get into a paragraph worth of sentences without my BS meter going off.

 

What is she trying to do? Let's see..

A) make you feel bad

B) make the ending of the relationship all about you "abandoning" her and turning your back on her, isntead of her controlling you, mistreating you to the point of BREAK. I.E taking ZERO responsibility for her actions. Typical

C) make you question your own judgement by manipulating and playing at your emotions.

 

Agree with everyone else. DELETE and NO reply.

[Lynx331]

Yes she really did text me all that, lol. We were notorious for long text messages between each other. So basically... This is her closure.. And the closure she is trying to give herself.. Is it's all my fault.. And she did pretty much nothing wrong.. Basically blaming me for everything. Also.. Even tho she said she doesn't expect a response.. I don't really believe that.. I think she is hoping I will text her back.. Which in a way.. I would love to do.. But I won't let myself. I think that's why she is trying to blame me for most of it.. To get me upset.. Enough to text her back.. So you said that if I dont respond it's going to bother her for a longtime? How do you mean that? This is just all so stupid.. After all of this I'm confident in the way I treated her to say this.. Why couldn't this ***** just wise up and realize how much I cared for he and how much I would do for her.. And be willing to work together to make the relationship work..It's just so dumb.. Thank you guys, you always make me feel better when I'm feeling down

[Lynx331]

Ugh. I couldn't even get into a paragraph worth of sentences without my BS meter going off.

 

What is she trying to do? Let's see..

A) make you feel bad

B) make the ending of the relationship all about you "abandoning" her and turning your back on her, isntead of her controlling you, mistreating you to the point of BREAK. I.E taking ZERO responsibility for her actions. Typical

C) make you question your own judgement by manipulating and playing at your emotions.

 

Agree with everyone else. DELETE and NO reply.

 

point C.... So you mean to tell me this is STILL a mind game and her trying to manipulate me??? If that's the case... I really really REALLY wish I was able to see these things...

[hoping2heal]

point C.... So you mean to tell me this is STILL a mind game and her trying to manipulate me??? If that's the case... I really really REALLY wish I was able to see these things...

 

Isn't it obvious? Did she ever mention anything about her actions that LEAD to the break up? No, it was all about "why couldn't you take more of MY crap?" or "Why couldn't you handle more of MY being selfish, expecting to recieve and not have to give" or "Why could I not just pounce the joy and good right out of your soul until you are driven so far into the ground, your skeletal system dissipates..and expect you to STILL be there for ME at my beck and call?" It was all about HER. No mention of the hell you were put through, of the anguish, and frustration, and pain you were put through. It was all about how she was this fragile little egg who was vulnerable and she should not have to take responsibility for anything she does because of it. This is false, this is not true. Let me tell you something Lynx, I have been through EVERY kind of abuse out there. I was sexually abused between infancy and up through childhood by more than one person, and some of them family members. I also grew up being physically abused as a child, and mentally/emotionally abused until the time I was enlightened enough to put my foot down.

 

I am guilty of some pretty horse **** things in my past, I am. But it is NO excuse what so EVER that because I was a vulnerable and hurting person I didn't have a responsibility to get myself help and get myself healed and STOP taking it out on other people. So don't fall into that ploy of "oh poor poor pitiful her" like she's hoping you will. I can tell she hasn't learned a damn thing, and maybe one day she will but as of right now? She hasn't learned a damn thing, she is just trying to manipulate you and get her way to the core.

[boogieboy]

Yeah dont even reply, she just wants you to react so she feels better, like she will have the upper hand and bait you into arguing with her. Dont give her the satisfaction. She says she doesnt care if you dont respond, but she DESPERATELY wants you to respond, and if you dont, it will drive her nuts.

[Lynx331]

That is just so ****ty on her part... Wow.. Like I said I really can't understand why I can't see it as clear as all of you can.. But that is just really ****.. Thanks for saying those things hoping2heal.. I appreciate that. I guess I'm just in awe that after all I have TRIED to do for her... She still is trying to manipulate me.. But I guess looking back at our realtionship I have been very easily manipulated.. Maybe she thinks now is the same.. And it's just a matter of time before I cave... This whole thing just sucks... But you guys make me feel a MILLION times better! So thank you.. I just can't understand it.. I am hurting so bad... And all she is trying to do is hurt me more it seems..

[Lynx331]

Yeah dont even reply, she just wants you to react so she feels better, like she will have the upper hand and bait you into arguing with her. Dont give her the satisfaction. She says she doesnt care if you dont respond, but she DESPERATELY wants you to respond, and if you dont, it will drive her nuts.

 

 

And she wants me to respond... Not to just talk to me again.. Because she misses me...? The only reason is to reassure herself.. And make herself feel better is that what your getting at?

[Thaddeus]

And she wants me to respond... Not to just talk to me again.. Because she misses me...? The only reason is to reassure herself.. And make herself feel better is that what your getting at?

Well, it's impossible to know what's going on inside her head. But if my previous experience with women is any guide at all, it's purely for her own ego. It's about power. She sends this last note to get the last word. That's her manifestation of power. You respond, she can choose to respond back or not. That's power.

 

I'd bet my last gallon of gas that sometime within the next month or so you'll get a text/email/phone call/whatever and she'll say, "Let's be friends" or something like that. That, too, is all about power.

[Lynx331]

Well, it's impossible to know what's going on inside her head. But if my previous experience with women is any guide at all, it's purely for her own ego. It's about power. She sends this last note to get the last word. That's her manifestation of power. You respond, she can choose to respond back or not. That's power.

 

I'd bet my last gallon of gas that sometime within the next month or so you'll get a text/email/phone call/whatever and she'll say, "Let's be friends" or something like that. That, too, is all about power.

 

So if I get that text I'm supposed to ignore it also? For the same reasoning? If I say yes.. She is the in control and can decided whether to text back or not right?

[Thaddeus]

So if I get that text I'm supposed to ignore it also? For the same reasoning? If I say yes.. She is the in control and can decided whether to text back or not right?

Well, if you want to be friends with her, then by all means go right ahead and text back.

 

Personally, I think remaining friends is a monumentally bad idea in this case, but hey, if you want to hear all about her new boyfriend, have her ask you for rides here and there, have her ask you if she can borrow some money, have her ask you to fix whatever it is that's broken in her house, without you getting anything in return, then hey, go for it.

[Lynx331]

I'm just gona let everything completely out for a minute.. Before I start I just want to say the text didnt cause his.. I was having a hard day before it.

 

I feel so stupid.. I feel so down on myself her.. I feel stupid forthe way I let her treat me, I feel stupid for forgiving her for things I guess I shouldn't have.. I feel stupid for not listening to my friends and family.. I feel so hurt.. Looking back I feel so hurt when I see the hgs she has did to me, the way she controlled me and my life..

 

It hurts because I would have NEVER tried to control her or anything.. I wanted simply the best for her.. No matter what.. I'm hurt because I tried with all of my effort to make this work.. I wanted this so bad I could taste it, I don't know why.. I just loved her so very much.. It hurts me because I am sitting here still hurting about this.. I feel like I will never get over this.. I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sad because I want her with me, I want to be able to talk to her I want to be able to hear her voice or see her smile.. And I can't and even worse icannot talk to her at all now.. It all makes me very sad. I'm worried.. I'm worried about her.. I want er to make smart decisions.. Make something of er life.. Meet somewhere that cares as much as I do.. Someone who is not an *******.. I want her to be happy.. I worry that somethig will happen to her.. Or some ******* will come along and hurt her.. I'm angry. I'm angry becUse she made me look like a fool to everyone, I'm angry because despite all my good intentions.. She is still tryng to mess with my mind.. I'm angry because it didn't work.. I'm angry because she wouldn't try.. I'm angry that I can't see her anymore.. I'm angry that she will be with someone else.. I'm angry that she just couldn't realize why she had in front of her.. I'm not sayng I'm perfect.. But I know no one would have tried as hard as I did. I'm confused.. Im confused because my heart says one thing and my brain says another.. I feel like there is something wrong with me.. And I get walked on because I am too nice.. I'm just feeling so many things.... Why do people have to be so.. Blind? Why was I so blind to not see the way she treated me.. Why was she so blind to not see how much I truely and deeply loved and cared for her.. I've got one girl right now who just wants a F buddy I guess... And i won't even put myself out there.. Because I'm afraid I'll just miss her more... Most of all I don't understand why after all these badthings am I still on here typing this.. After the way I was treated why am I still letting this bother me.. Why am I still letting this affect my life.. Why am I still in love with this woman.. Wow... Well if anyone wants to comment I appreciate it.. But I feel better just letting that out.

[hoping2heal]

I'm just gona let everything completely out for a minute.. Before I start I just want to say the text didnt cause his.. I was having a hard day before it.

 

I feel so stupid.. I feel so down on myself her.. I feel stupid forthe way I let her treat me, I feel stupid for forgiving her for things I guess I shouldn't have.. I feel stupid for not listening to my friends and family.. I feel so hurt.. Looking back I feel so hurt when I see the hgs she has did to me, the way she controlled me and my life..

 

It hurts because I would have NEVER tried to control her or anything.. I wanted simply the best for her.. No matter what.. I'm hurt because I tried with all of my effort to make this work.. I wanted this so bad I could taste it, I don't know why.. I just loved her so very much.. It hurts me because I am sitting here still hurting about this.. I feel like I will never get over this.. I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sad because I want her with me, I want to be able to talk to her I want to be able to hear her voice or see her smile.. And I can't and even worse icannot talk to her at all now.. It all makes me very sad. I'm worried.. I'm worried about her.. I want er to make smart decisions.. Make something of er life.. Meet somewhere that cares as much as I do.. Someone who is not an *******.. I want her to be happy.. I worry that somethig will happen to her.. Or some ******* will come along and hurt her.. I'm angry. I'm angry becUse she made me look like a fool to everyone, I'm angry because despite all my good intentions.. She is still tryng to mess with my mind.. I'm angry because it didn't work.. I'm angry because she wouldn't try.. I'm angry that I can't see her anymore.. I'm angry that she will be with someone else.. I'm angry that she just couldn't realize why she had in front of her.. I'm not sayng I'm perfect.. But I know no one would have tried as hard as I did. I'm confused.. Im confused because my heart says one thing and my brain says another.. I feel like there is something wrong with me.. And I get walked on because I am too nice.. I'm just feeling so many things.... Why do people have to be so.. Blind? Why was I so blind to not see the way she treated me.. Why was she so blind to not see how much I truely and deeply loved and cared for her.. I've got one girl right now who just wants a F buddy I guess... And i won't even put myself out there.. Because I'm afraid I'll just miss her more... Most of all I don't understand why after all these badthings am I still on here typing this.. After the way I was treated why am I still letting this bother me.. Why am I still letting this affect my life.. Why am I still in love with this woman.. Wow... Well if anyone wants to comment I appreciate it.. But I feel better just letting that out.

 

It hasn't been that long of time, so of course you're hurt. You were let down and dissapointed big time by this girl. She didn't get her act together, she didn't try and do what was best for the both of you and enrich your relationship. She wasn't that person to do that, she wasn't that type of girl. You wanted her to be, you hoped she would be with all the support you gave her, but at the end of the day you found out that just isn't her. She's not what you wanted or needed her to be, it's a real let down. That hurts, it hurts a lot. Your worried about her because she's manipulative and in all of her tricks and tactics and mind games, she still manages to make you believe that she's the victim. No, she knows exactly what she's doing and she would rather find the audience who is interested in what she's playing, than take some responsibility for herself, her actions and do something positive with her life. She's not that type of woman, she'd rather play around and play victim and manipulate someone to the bitter end.

 

I don't blame you for feeling hurt about that, it is a legitimate reason to be hurt. I'm glad you're listening to your brain though.

[UrKillinMeSmalls]

Just ignore EVERYTHING she says. Delete it right out. What I meant by it messing with her head is that, she may say she expects no response or she may be venting, but she WILL want SOMETHING out of you. SOME response, even if it's an agry text-back. Do NOT give it to her. It will **** with her head and she'll find that the last word isn't as gratifying as she thought it would be, because your not acting like a pussy and responding to BULL****.

 

Just don't respond, to anything. It's the absolute best thing you can do. It denies her ANY validation. If she wants to be a bitch, treat her like one. Ignore her ass.

[nature]

Lynx, I don't know your story? Can you give me the quick "coles notes" recap? Who broke up with who and what was the reasoning behind it?

 

From what I read from her text, is that she is trying to appear powerful, strong and together....after she apparently begged for you back. So she is writing that text to make it appear like she is together, and she is the one in the driver's seat when it comes to the break up of you two. Again, I don't know who broke up with who or why? However, she's trying to salvage her dignity by sending you that...to let you know that she's not the weak, crying, begging woman anymore. She is doing this to appear appealing to you. So that you will want her back. As Hoping to Heal said, it's pure manipulation.

[Lynx331]

Lynx, I don't know your story? Can you give me the quick "coles notes" recap? Who broke up with who and what was the reasoning behind it?

 

From what I read from her text, is that she is trying to appear powerful, strong and together....after she apparently begged for you back. So she is writing that text to make it appear like she is together, and she is the one in the driver's seat when it comes to the break up of you two. Again, I don't know who broke up with who or why? However, she's trying to salvage her dignity by sending you that...to let you know that she's not the weak, crying, begging woman anymore. She is doing this to appear appealing to you. So that you will want her back. As Hoping to Heal said, it's pure manipulation.

 

 

Ok let's see if I can make this quick. I broke up with her this time. I was dumped SEVERAL times before when I didn't do what she wanted. The main killer was I told he an old girl from high school called me, I didn't answer, and she freaked out saying I need to change my number ec. THEN I was given an ultamtium about going to a bachelor party, (it consisted of dinner, bar, an strip club) I happily agreed not go to the strip club.. And everything was cool.. The. I was given an ultamtium about the whole thing.. Don't go at all or don't plan on talking to her again. Throughout the relationship I felt controlled, manipulated, never got to do what I wanted, gave up my dreams and goals and things I love. I had family and friends telling me to get rid of her and She treated me like crap. Now I realize Im not perfect.. Sure I'm sure I messed up, I know a few of the ways I messed up already. Well I think that should sum it up. She also would argue with me about getting a job.. We fought for over a year about it, I had to pay for everything.

[nature]

Oh Lynx....how are you REALLY doing? Do you want her back? Are you ok? Are you healing? Was it one of those breakups wherein you feel like you have no choice but breaking up with them because of how they are taking you for granted...but you deep down wish they'd get the **** together and stop treating you like ****? So sorry.

[Lynx331]

Oh Lynx....how are you REALLY doing? Do you want her back? Are you ok? Are you healing? Was it one of those breakups wherein you feel like you have no choice but breaking up with them because of how they are taking you for granted...but you deep down wish they'd get the **** together and stop treating you like ****? So sorry.

 

 

It was one of those break ups, lol I wish she would have got her **** together because I have never cared for someone so much before.. But I guess thanks to everyone on here, and my family advice and support I am doing what's best for me. Even tho I'd love for her to change.. It won't I've come to realize

[Lynx331]

Isn't it obvious? Did she ever mention anything about her actions that LEAD to the break up? No, it was all about "why couldn't you take more of MY crap?" or "Why couldn't you handle more of MY being selfish, expecting to recieve and not have to give" or "Why could I not just pounce the joy and good right out of your soul until you are driven so far into the ground, your skeletal system dissipates..and expect you to STILL be there for ME at my beck and call?" It was all about HER. No mention of the hell you were put through, of the anguish, and frustration, and pain you were put through. It was all about how she was this fragile little egg who was vulnerable and she should not have to take responsibility for anything she does because of it. This is false, this is not true. Let me tell you something Lynx, I have been through EVERY kind of abuse out there. I was sexually abused between infancy and up through childhood by more than one person, and some of them family members. I also grew up being physically abused as a child, and mentally/emotionally abused until the time I was enlightened enough to put my foot down.

 

I am guilty of some pretty horse **** things in my past, I am. But it is NO excuse what so EVER that because I was a vulnerable and hurting person I didn't have a responsibility to get myself help and get myself healed and STOP taking it out on other people. So don't fall into that ploy of "oh poor poor pitiful her" like she's hoping you will. I can tell she hasn't learned a damn thing, and maybe one day she will but as of right now? She hasn't learned a damn thing, she is just trying to manipulate you and get her way to the core.

 

I want to thank you for posting that, I've came back twice already and re-read it.. Everytime I start feeling sad or whatever I'm going to read this. Thank ou so much for posting it, really. I know you may not be able to tell, but it is helping me alot