JaggedRoad Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I gathered all the things that she has given me over the years and packed them into a bag. The bag is still in my room, but I'm a little hesitant to throw it away. I've already deleted all the pictures and videos we took together, so the only things left are the physical items. I think there's a 95% chance we'll never ever speak to each other again let alone bump into each other, so it's pretty much done.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Well, they represent memories of your life too. Personally, I don't find such memories or their reminders to be such a bad thing. History is valuable. I would never consider throwing out gifts my stbx gave me during our marriage. One, they're some pretty cool stuff, and, two, to me that's wasteful. The process is disconnecting the emotion from the thing
wuggle Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Agree with Carhill, if these were presents to you why throw them away, the gifts or the initial thought behind their being given still remains, I would keep them to remind me of good times.
Author JaggedRoad Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 I'm afraid that I might grow resentful of her if I keep these items. What she wrote to me was entirely different than the way she treated me when we broke-up. And the memories belonging to these items are still very painful to remember at the moment. I might have a sudden urge to call her if I come across these items in the future.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 In that case, put them away and let dust bunnies grow on the boxes. Someday, far in the future, you'll thank me
wuggle Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Agree, unless there are any good power tools in there in which case please post them to me...
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Box them all up and ask your parents to store them at their place. They would never nib through their son's box of ex stuff and you can forget all about them, plus your parents are unlikely to move from their home any time soon. Out of sight, slowly out of mind. But don't throw them away. There may be a time when you just wish to return them to her instead, that's what I did. Click on my name and find the first post I made to see that whole story. But in short, either mail them back to her or store them away where they are out of your reach, but don't throw them away, that wouldn't be smart.
Odyssey Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I would hide them away - out of sight, out of mind, right? I used to think, that when i was over an ex, i would dig out the useless crap and have a big burning ceremony. Then one day i was clearing out the garage, and came across her letters, cards & stupid badges. Went straight in the bin, without a thought.
mickleb Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Yup. You don't have to keep them forever but don't throw them until they are meaningless for you. Put them away. They WILL lose their significance and power and then, you might just like some things, just because you do. THEN they can become valuable to you, again. For good reasons. x
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 1, 2009 Author Posted October 1, 2009 I found out that there were a lot more items than I originally realized and now I have two small boxes of stuff. There are still 2 more items that I forgot to pack in the boxes, but that should be soon. I deleted all emails from her and to her, and all emails mentioning her. Most of you guys are probably shaking your head at me now, but I felt like it was necessary for me to really get over her. I'm still debating about what to do with the tangible items. Most of you have advised me to keep them, but I don't know...
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 You can't erase her from your life, no matter what you delete or throw away. So doing so will only make you feel sick later on. That's why I (we, probably) advise you to keep them, but store them away- out of reach where you know you won't try to access for a while. I suggest somewhere at your parents' house. They aren't going to nib through their sons things, and they understand. Talk to your dad, I'm sure he could find a place for them. Out of sight isn't completely out of mind. But it's a start. TIME and hard work are the only things that will get you over her. My exes have kept stuff of mine in the past, and one of them STILL has stuff of mine, after 2 years apart. Why- I can't say for sure, but my guess is because getting rid of them or returning them to me wouldn't HELP them in any way, it would only hurt them- even if they did the dumping. Point is, there's only so much you can eliminate before it does more harm than good. Call your dad up and have him find a place for it.
Author JaggedRoad Posted October 1, 2009 Author Posted October 1, 2009 Your explanation is just what I needed. Thank you.
tryagaintoday Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 ok, can't really advice you much but let me tell you what i'd done. contact details, emails and pictures in computer etc are all deleted. (pics that has her alone or just with her and me are deleted, group ones are kept). stuff that belongs to her in my house are all packed and ready to be collected. all love notes written from her and kept in another box ready to be returned to her as well. all the kinky stuff are in this box as well. gifts that i do not need/want are thrown away. those that i need/want such as playstion 3, power tools i'll be keeping . (hey she kept the diamond engagement ring i gave her, she said she'll treat is as "just a birthday gift")
EmperorR Posted October 1, 2009 Posted October 1, 2009 i threw away everything my ex gave me, from a psp to clothes, deleted all pictures and videos, soome people heal differently, i heal by deleting every aspect of that person from my life. Some people like to look back when there healed at cards pictures adn stuff. I don't, I have nothing nothing at all that reminds me of my ex, I even bought a new hd so I could never use one of those programs to recover my files incase I wanted to bring back pictures.
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