Angel1111 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I used to know a couple where there was a 20-yr age difference and from what I could tell, it was a very trying situation, even though they loved each other a lot. They had a young child, which absolutely wore the guy out because he was just too old to be raising a kid. And his wife had way more energy than him and I could tell it took a lot of patience and maturity on her part to be in the relationship. For short-term, these relationships may be fun, but I don't see how they work long-term. The guy you're with just has performance problems, plain and simple. Maybe he always has had them. Or maybe he thought that being with a younger woman would solve the problem. Instead of trying to fix him and figure why he's with you, you need to decide if this is something that you can deal with because it most likely won't change. I personally prefer older men - but not usually more than 10 yrs older than me. And if he had perfomance problems, it wouldn't bother me that much. But if I were in my 30's, it probably would be an issue. If it's a probem for you, you need to be honest with yourself about that.
clv0116 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 To answer the question, I'd say older men do it because they can, if they can. I can get from age of consent up to grandmas in my current situation, so why wouldn't I want a nice 20-something without kids, wrinkles and a ton of emotional baggage? We take the best we can get, like an auctioneer.
Chubbi Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I have no idea why some women around my age would date a guy A lot more older than them, but honestly I think it´s few and inbetween. Some people say maturity, but come on, a 40 year old guy who wants a 16 year old is mature?? since when? And other people say money, which just equates those women to concubines or golddiggers. Also, I plan on making my own money. All of the girls I know are like me, and think men 10 years plus older than them, hitting on them, is just downright creepy. If you´re happy though Butterfly, go for it. I went out last night, and I could hardly see the young guys for the older men talking to me. Now older men were a lot more confident and straightforward, which is definitely a plus, but I do prefer guys my age, at least less than 10 years, unless the men are famous icons or something. I mean, I wouldn´t mind a 27 year old or Justin Timberlake, haha. But 33 plus is a little over the top-.. Thankfully in America, there´s an age limit in clubs with the same age groups 18 to 25 clubs like that. The club last night was 18 plus and totally sketchy. I always get carded to get in to clubs in America since I look like I´m in highschool. No one asked for any identification, nothing last night. It was more, wow you´re hot, come on in. Also, the bartender was giving us free drinks anddd free candy, which we ate the whole bowl. Never again
clv0116 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I have no idea why some women around my age would date a guy A lot more older than them.... .... the bartender was giving us free drinks anddd free candy, which we ate the whole bowl. Never again Ha, come back in 5-10 years when the drinks aren't free any more. That has struck me funny since it's a line I and some of my friends use with regard to very young and pretty girls - "It's gonna be a shock to her when she realizes drinks cost money".
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Basically it sounds like you're insecure and you're wondering why he would be interested in you. It has nothing to do with age really. You need to have more self-confidence in your desirability to the guy. If he's sticking around, it's more than just because of age and superficial reasons.
angie2443 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Acutally, he has a son that is a year younger than I am. That's a totally different issue. So far no problems with that part of the relationship. I'll keep you posted. IMO, this is not healthy for the son. It crosses many bounderies, unless the father doesn't have much of a relationship with his son. His son, most likely, won't say anything negative, though.
clv0116 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 IMO, this is not healthy for the son. It crosses many bounderies, unless the father doesn't have much of a relationship with his son. His son, most likely, won't say anything negative, though. Oh come on - this son isn't a child.
Trialbyfire Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Recently as in two weeks. More than once over a short period of time. (I told you he's aggressive:bunny::bunny:) I love that aspect of it. Just wish it would last longer.If you're determined to be with this man, as I can see you are by your defence of him , then be prepared to accept him, sexual issues and all.
clv0116 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 In a situation where you're looking for a serious relationship, if the two of you are in the same stage in life.... Personally I think the 'stage of life" thing is way over weighted and I almost never hear it applied to say, a couple who are both 24, when in reality the odds of a 24 yo guy being anywhere near the same place as a 24 yo gal are probably less than a 40 yo guy and a 28 yo gal.
CaliGuy Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Personally I think the 'stage of life" thing is way over weighted and I almost never hear it applied to say, a couple who are both 24, when in reality the odds of a 24 yo guy being anywhere near the same place as a 24 yo gal are probably less than a 40 yo guy and a 28 yo gal. Agreed. This is why getting married when you're very young and still haven't got your life figured out is just silly. Especially if you are marrying someone else your same age who hasn't the first clue!
Jersey Shortie Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Personally I think the 'stage of life" thing is way over weighted and I almost never hear it applied to say, a couple who are both 24, when in reality the odds of a 24 yo guy being anywhere near the same place as a 24 yo gal are probably less than a 40 yo guy and a 28 yo gal. Actually, when I was 24, my friends and I dated other 24 year old guys. And we were at the same level of maturity. I dated older guys too but older guys were never "better". While some women might not want to date a 24 year old based on immaturity, it's even worse to date a man that only finally became mature once he hit his late 30s or 40s. That is even worse immaturity then some 24 year old guy that isn't mature quite yet. If I am expected to be mature by a certain age, I hold those same expectations for a man. None of this 'oh yeah I can be a smuck until I am in my late 30s " bs. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And if this is normal, I wonder why a man like this would bother with younger women when he KNOWS they will have more energy, stamina, and higher expectations of him sexually given the younger men they are accustomed to. It's based out of insecurity OP. Men are hugely insecure about their ability to no longer be important to the world. The men that consider their sexuality the biggest thing they have to offer to the world, are most insecure about aging and proving their prowness. It might make you feel good, like your so special but the truth is that it has less to do with you as a person and as to do with him wanting to prove himself as a man. And I honestly believe men are more insecure about their mortality then women are. He is with you because he thinks your youth is a reflection of him and makes him more youthful by association. Would he be with you if you were in your 40s? It's an interesting question to ask yourself. And if the answer is no, then he isn't a man you should waste your time on. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have no idea why some women around my age would date a guy A lot more older than them, but honestly I think it´s few and inbetween. I agree. While it does happen, it doesn't happen alot. I was the only one of my friends that dated older men. And I use to get busted on. And when I tried to take these older guys to hang out with my friends they would always look at him but never knew what to say. That kind of sucked. Right now, I find dating men my own age much more exciting and stimulating. All of the girls I know are like me, and think men 10 years plus older than them, hitting on them, is just downright creepy. That's been my experience as well. We would consider the guy a joke. Really didn't have respect for him. I don't think dating older men is completely bad. But I don't think it's better either. There are a differrent set of issues when dating older men. The OP is talking about one of them right now. Truth is men age just like women, they slow down, they get older...they can't keep up. Some guys can sure, as can some 40 something women. But why should a woman settle for a man that consider himself a "fine wine" and consider her not? Older men aren't better, just different. And there is something ten times sexier about going through life with a man that reaches the same stages as you then one that's already been there done that and is world weary and bitter.
Trialbyfire Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Personally I think the 'stage of life" thing is way over weighted and I almost never hear it applied to say, a couple who are both 24, when in reality the odds of a 24 yo guy being anywhere near the same place as a 24 yo gal are probably less than a 40 yo guy and a 28 yo gal.Umm...do you understand what stage in life means? It's about being in a similar place, regardless of age.
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