Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I'm dating a man who is over 20 years older than me. Aside from money and social status, what does an older man have to offer a younger woman? Are these relationships just for the show are is there any real substance? Can a man over 50 satisfy a woman sexually? Can a younger woman satify him sexually without medical drug enhancers?
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 1. He can offer her the sum total of his life experience, which generally far exceeds hers. This permeates every level of interaction. 2. Relationships are what they are. Sure, some are for show, but that has nothing to do with age difference. Some are transitory. Some are for life. Enjoy what you have 3. A man of any age can satisfy a woman sexually if he is healthy, functional and attracted to her, and wants to learn her particular desires. 4. I doubt the woman needs any drugs and he shouldn't, if he's healthy. If he's having erection problems, like you mentioned in another thread, first stop is the doctor for a physical. A smart man with life experience will know this
CarrieT Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 You would be surprised how many 50-year old men have better sexual stamina than some 20-year olds! Seriously, look at several of the recent ED threads -- they are mostly started by 20-something guys. And older men have a lot more patience to take the time to please a women than a younger bloke. Give me a fine, aged vintage wine than fresh juice any day!
CaliGuy Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 There's a huge thread about this in this very forum. Do a search But the answer is yes, if both people involved really love and care about each other. If the motivation is wrong, then no. Give me a fine, aged vintage wine than fresh juice any day! Love it!
Trialbyfire Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Isn't it pretty obvious why older men go for younger women? In a situation where you're looking for a serious relationship, if the two of you are in the same stage in life, then yes, it could work, reliant on other standard reasons of compatibility including sexual drive. Just make sure he's not the kind of man who's looking for the fountain of youth, from a partner. If so, when you age beyond what his ideal is, he'll move on. In a situation where you're not looking for something serious, just relax and enjoy the ride, if he can meet your wants.
Jaytb Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I'm dating a man who is over 20 years older than me. Aside from money and social status, what does an older man have to offer a younger woman? Are these relationships just for the show are is there any real substance? Can a man over 50 satisfy a woman sexually? Can a younger woman satify him sexually without medical drug enhancers? you tell us! You're the one dating a man who is over 20 years older than you.
Pink Cupcakes Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 You are dating one, so why don't you tell us?
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 LOL, the OP is a woman. She's not an older man. Hence the question
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 You are dating one, so why don't you tell us? Because the one I'm dating doesn't seem sexually motivated. He has everything else to offer (looks, money, social status). But he's not the best sexual partner and he knows it. So I'm wondering why men like him date younger women like me. I hope this particular guy doesn't have some superficial reason for it. It doesn't feel that way. But given light of our current issue in bed, I'm wondering why he prefere's younger women. I'm not the first younger woman he has dated over the past few years.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 So I'm wondering what men like him date younger women like me. That's easy. An older man (I'm 50) dating a younger woman, especially a beautiful one, gives off an air of potency and dominance. This augments his success in other areas of his life. It's an ego boost and a social power.
Trialbyfire Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Butterflying, when you say he's not the best sexual partner, in what way? Is he unable to perform or just disinterested in performing?
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 Butterflying, when you say he's not the best sexual partner, in what way? Is he unable to perform or just disinterested in performing? He's very interested. Sometimes more than I am. But after we get going for a while, he "deflates" eventhough I know he wants to continue. He simply can't. But it doesn't take long for him to get going again. So it's not a major problem. He certainly pleases me in other ways too Since he is the first man I've ever dated so much older than me, I'm wondering if this is something I'm going to have to get used to, or if it's abnormal.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Doesn't sound like ED to me. Are the circumstances surrounding loss of erection similar each time, or are they different? How readily can you talk with him about this issue? I could envision myself having a bit of performance anxiety with a hot young lady I was attracted to, and that might account for things, but I'd be open to talking about that and working through it. One possibility....
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 He's very interested. Sometimes more than I am. But after we get going for a while, he "deflates" eventhough I know he wants to continue. He simply can't. But it doesn't take long for him to get going again. So it's not a major problem. He certainly pleases me in other ways too Since he is the first man I've ever dated so much older than me, I'm wondering if this is something I'm going to have to get used to, or if it's abnormal. And if this is normal, I wonder why a man like this would bother with younger women when he KNOWS they will have more energy, stamina, and higher expectations of him sexually given the younger men they are accustomed to. Based on this experience, only thing a younger man has that he doesn't is the ability to last longer.
Trialbyfire Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Since it's a repetitive issue, I would encourage him to discuss it with a medical doctor, to discount any physical reason(s). If there are no physical reasons, he probably already knows why. IMO, he sounds like someone compensating for whatever his reasons, with a younger woman. If the two of you haven't been together for very long, I'd reconsider moving any further along.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Another key insight. An older man doesn't see himself as old. He still thinks he can do what he did at 20, including sex. The only thing that has changed somewhat is the reflection in the mirror.
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 Since it's a repetitive issue, I would encourage him to discuss it with a medical doctor, to discount any physical reason(s). If there are no physical reasons, he probably already knows why. IMO, he sounds like someone compensating for whatever his reasons, with a younger woman. If the two of you haven't been together for very long, I'd reconsider moving any further along. We've known each other for 10 years. Our relationship is very solid. We became intimate for the first time recently when I finally gave in to my physical attraction to him. He has been persuing me in this way for the past year. I expected much more from him since he is the aggressive one.
Trialbyfire Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 He's very interested. Sometimes more than I am. But after we get going for a while, he "deflates" eventhough I know he wants to continue. He simply can't. But it doesn't take long for him to get going again. So it's not a major problem. He certainly pleases me in other ways too Since he is the first man I've ever dated so much older than me, I'm wondering if this is something I'm going to have to get used to, or if it's abnormal. We've known each other for 10 years. Our relationship is very solid. We became intimate for the first time recently when I finally gave in to my physical attraction to him. He has been persuing me in this way for the past year. I expected much more from him since he is the aggressive one.These two posts don't jive. The first post denotes multiple sexual encounters, the second post denotes only once. If it's only once, from what I've read on LS, it could be first time performance anxiety and not to take it too seriously, unless it's repetitive. If it becomes a repetitive issue, refer to my previous post.
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 We've known each other for 10 years. Our relationship is very solid. We became intimate for the first time recently when I finally gave in to my physical attraction to him. He has been persuing me in this way for the past year. I expected much more from him since he is the aggressive one. And before anyone says it, I was slightly underage when I first met him. He owns a company that I used to work for. He was my boss back then. But he was married then. The relationship was strictly professional. Not even a wink or a smile. We've kept in touch for business purposes over the years. He has been divorced for 9 years. A year ago I went to his office just for a friendly visit to say hello after no contact in 7 years. And things escalated from there considering I'm an adult and we're both available.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Does he have a daughter your age or maybe slightly younger?
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 These two posts don't jive. The first post denotes multiple sexual encounters, the second post denotes only once. If it's only once, from what I've read on LS, it could be first time performance anxiety and not to take it too seriously, unless it's repetitive. If it becomes a repetitive issue, refer to my previous post. Recently as in two weeks. More than once over a short period of time. (I told you he's aggressive:bunny::bunny:) I love that aspect of it. Just wish it would last longer.
Author Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 Does he have a daughter your age or maybe slightly younger? Acutally, he has a son that is a year younger than I am. That's a totally different issue. So far no problems with that part of the relationship. I'll keep you posted.
clv0116 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 He's very interested. Sometimes more than I am. But after we get going for a while, he "deflates" eventhough I know he wants to continue. He simply can't. But it doesn't take long for him to get going again. So it's not a major problem. He certainly pleases me in other ways too Since he is the first man I've ever dated so much older than me, I'm wondering if this is something I'm going to have to get used to, or if it's abnormal. It's not normal. Are you using condoms? Sometimes an undersized condom can cause this.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 It's not normal. Are you using condoms? Sometimes an undersized condom can cause this. Can't speak for him but I tend to view women your age (especially if I had known you as a teenager) as a daughter. Just sayin'.... I could see a similarly aged son being a bit of an emotional wrench in the works (him seeing you with his father), but I doubt there's any sexual ramifications there.
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