tojaz Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 At least for a little while. i don't really know. I find myself at a point, where everything is just too much. With all my emotional stress and now my failing health, i just don't feel that I'm giving LS my best. Find myself emotionally drained by several situations and something has got to give. Maybe I have finally reached my breaking point, I don't know. All I do know is that right now, while i used to come here and post to feel better, lately it just makes me feel worse. I do want to thank all those here who have helped me so much, it's a long list but I hope you know who you are. Also for the small group of people that i have been able to touch in some way, I do not want to abandon you, anyone who would like to keep in touch, please feel free to drop me a P.M. and I'll pass along my E-mail so i can be reached, I will still be checking in throughout the weekend and there are quite a few here that i have grown very close to and I would hate to lose that. Lastly, I would like to pass along this final tidbit. There are so many here who think in black and white and ignore the shades of gray. Some jump headlong into another love, looking to fill a void and hasten the healing. Others choose to wallow in pity and blame, forever a casualty of those they have lost. The key i think is to just accept the balance and feel what you need to feel. If it's a bad day, cry let it out, scream at the top of your lungs or throw a pity party if thats what it takes, but don't be afraid of the things that make you happy either. If you find something that is special to you, cling to it regardless if it is silly or impractical. Love and happiness is rarely sensible but always possible, even despite overwhelming odds, be it distance, timing, or our own self imposed limitations. Only we decide what is and is not possible in our own lives. My point is that you all will feel sad and hurt for as long as you allow yourself to, it takes awhile to find something that will make you happy again and when you do, fight for it! I've always tried to do that, and those who know my story know that I have backslid and been burned by this many times, but I keep reaching for that and so should all of you. If you don't open your hearts to love and happiness, it will never find it's way in! I wish you all the best, and all the happiness in the world. TOJAZ P.S. It would be unfair of me not to give a special thanks to LisaUK, thanks for everything sweetie!
PWSX3 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Tojaz, I understand having to take a breather once in a while. I do hope things turn around for you & your health will get better. I do agree with what you said & I would just like to add this. When I grew up a man was not to cry, he was supposes to be tough. I remember my dad saying; if you want something to cry about I'll give you something to cry about. Crying is an emotion God gave us, I also feel there are others that for me I lost because of that so we need to learn all the emotions & they will help us through these hard times...... Tojaz good luck my friend, you have come a very long ways. Life is all about learning & dealing with others. I have learned we are on this earth for two reasons, to be loved & to love...... Someday this roller coaster you are on will stop, but then something else will come up & it will just be a different ride so we need to except that is how life is & deal with it the best we can...... Look forward to hearing from you in a few weeks...........
soheartbroken Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Hi Tojaz, Good luck on your personal journey. Hope to hear an update from you sometime down the road. I completely understand needing to cutback on LS, though you will be missed. You have your own problems, and you can only take on so many of other peoples' problems. I know my own posts have been quite depressing, and I'm sorry if they brought you down, because I know you were trying to help.
Auroracoladybug Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Tojaz I hope you have some peace...know that you helped me a great deal...it wasn't that you had to give us your best, we were here for you to and will be anytime...I have taken breaks at a time and have come back to get updates and vent and like shb hope to hear a update.... lots of love and hugs
MrMayI Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 you're a good man, t. i can't thank you enough for helping me through to where i am today. you've been there every time for me when i needed it, and i hope i've done the same for you. just shooting the ****, talking beer, football, whatever. i hope your health improves. i know what all the bad that comes along with it must be doing to you. just know you'll get through. god has a big plan for you. i can just feel it. anyway man, this feels like i'm signing a yearbook. i'm gonna pm you my contact info.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Tojaz Smart my man. Very little joy and happiness here, with all the broken hearts. Move on, heal, love life and love will find you. Be prepared to expect the unexpected when you least expect it Gallon
delajoonal Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 tojaz... you are truly a beautiful and amazing man...and W will only realize THIS to late..as they all do....as will others. we have had talks about your health issues..and like i said, from my own experience...something GREAT always comes out of something bAD...we had this talk...you know what i think, and truly believe you are destined for a new occupation, new people, and possibly that great new love... i have taken breaks from LS myself my dear friend. sometimes its all we can do to keep from drowning in our OWN issues daily and we really need ALL that energy to focus on getting OURSELVES healthy and strong again...we all get that here..so no worries...we ALL know how important LS is to you..but right now...you need sometime for just YOU! sometimes LS can bring us much comfort, at the same time, we are comforting another, sometimes LS can be so draining and depressing...that we want to be here for ALL the wonderful new friends that need our support...but sometimes we just are all out of apples..as my aunties would say at the end of a LONG day with 12 kids running amuck.. and we get that tojaz...we get that all these friends we have made on LS are indeed like family, our kids, our friends...strange how that happens online... but it does, and it has, and we will ALL always be here when you have strenght to come back or need to vent, or just want to lurk... you will NOT be forgotten...as i am sure you will be back when your health permits;) you know where to find me;) thanks bb... luv N hugs, *T
trippi1432 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Hi Tojaz, I know that I have only known you on here for a little while, but I appreciate your thoughts and advice. I can understand why you need a break and don't blame you. Thank you for being there and I wish you all the happiness in the world....some of us are still working on it, but will take the words of wisdom you have given us to heart. I know that you have been a huge advocator of working on the relationship if it was salvageable, and working on yourself if it was not....sometimes it is time for reflection, sometimes it is time for healing and sometimes it is just times to have a good cry. Thank you for that....you've been an inspiration to many. Huge Hugs! Trippi
ryepatch Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 hey tojaz, just want to thank you for all your help and your patience with everyone on here. you've been a role model, and it'll be hard to fill your shoes!
WTFO Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 ....you've been an inspiration to many. Trippi Amen, x125% You will me missed. Believe it or not you have helped alot of people on here me included. Stay safe,and it was a pleasure "getting to know you" Take care.
floridapad Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 Tojaz You don't know me well but I have read much of what you have wrote. I want to say you have humbled me with your kind words to people. But there does come a time when you need to break away and get back to yourself. I know you will be back but for now get yourself back. Sometimes we/me get caught up in the pitty party, (which I think you may have), but there are times where we must just force oursleves to MOVE. This is a big step for you I know but it seems like you know it must be done. I wish you health and happiness, both of which will be with you.... Just let it all go. Thank you for your kind words.
PWSX3 Posted September 29, 2009 Posted September 29, 2009 O.K. is Tojaz gone so we can talk about him now?????:laugh::laugh: I have learned it does take something out of you when you read the stories of all the people going thru this miss called divorce. It sure would be nice if we could give our spouses a magic pill, but I hope for those that didn't want the divorce will find happiness within themselves & be able to look back & say; I did the best I could with what we were dealt with.....
Author tojaz Posted September 30, 2009 Author Posted September 30, 2009 O.K. is Tojaz gone so we can talk about him now?????:laugh::laugh: I have learned it does take something out of you when you read the stories of all the people going thru this miss called divorce. It sure would be nice if we could give our spouses a magic pill, but I hope for those that didn't want the divorce will find happiness within themselves & be able to look back & say; I did the best I could with what we were dealt with..... Thanks everyone! was just released from the hospital after an overnighter and wanted to check my PM's. I am amazed at all the folks who took the time to write so I just had to post this thank you. It does take a lot out of you to read all the stories here, but it gives a lot back as well. I never learned so much about life or myself until I came here and got involved. A lot of folks have PM'd and asked, I'm not a therapist, or a writer, I paint cars for a living and to be honest the only time i stepped foot in a college was to take the ex to lunch. I learned everything i share by living it or getting involved with those that have. That is the true strength of LS, not in answers to your own thread, but when you start finding you have answers for others. That was when I started learning about myself. This is just a break folks, give me a few weeks to get my head together and get healthier. I'll be back. TOJAZ
dgiirl Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Get well soon Tojaz!... It's good to take a break now and again. Know your limits and return when you can
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