countingufosagain Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I have been split with my ex of 5 years for 6 weeks with the last 4 weeks having NC. She's in a new relationship and to my surprise I haven't been all that distraught since the relationship ended. It was becoming increasing easier over the last week or so and then she sends me a text asking if I have a minute to talk. I ignored the text and was sent another roughly an hour later saying that she just wanted to ask about her retirement plan. I text back to send me her question and I would respond to her upon return to my hotel room. Once i return to my room, i read what she wanted and answered her question. This began an exchange of texts about finance which she had never shown any interest and I finally tell her I was busy and needed to go. She responds with her appreciation for all my help and that she wishes me the best. I'm not sure why this comment seemed to bother me, but it did. I'm glad I responded because if I didn't, I think she would take it as I'm having difficulties moving on, which I wasn't. I understand why she we would contact me for this information being i helped her set it up, but with the situation as it is, she could have researched on the net or asked the HR person. I wish the text had never come through as I think I've taken a few steps back in my recovery process. I'm still not upset, I'm just thinking of her again. I guess this is a post to get it off my chest. I just don't understand why she would contact me and break our no contact pattern since we have moved on.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Cheers effect... Easier to text you than do the work herself. Women are pragmatic in this way. Great delegators.
Darren09 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Yeah carhill is completley right its sooooooo much easier for her to contact you than mess about finding out otherways! like she is using you! next time she trys this ignore it. then there is zero chance of it affecting you in anyway!
Author countingufosagain Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 Thanks guys, totally makes sense. I think her comment and additional statements, and or, questions about finance had me perplexed straying me from the answer.
carhill Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 This is easy to remember. Manipulators of both sexes first seek to build familiarity and rapport, then start slipping in their agenda. With a prior emotional/sexual attachment, it is just that much easier. I sometimes enjoy playing their game and doing a little jabbing of my own
Ison28 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.
Ison28 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply. I totally disagree with everyone. You two were together for five years. That's a lot of time. My ex and I were together a little over 4 years and I don't think you can just shut your feelings off for someone after that long. I think she was just needing to hear your voice, wanting to talk to you, to see if anything come up about your relationship. I think she is feeling remorse for the breakup and possibly wants to try to rekindle something. This was her way of reaching out to you.
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