rp123 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 15 days of NC. The pain is still strong and regular. Especially in the morning. I am always waking early, 4 or 5 am. And it is at this time that the pain, loss , and desperation really hit home... Has anyone noticed this too.
BW007 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 It'll die down after a while. Its very common and the sleep cycle disturbance can trigger/is triggered by depression. It can be the worst. Try to jumpstart a routine(shave/shower/jog/whatever) and power through it. I have been there, and I have a lifelong sleep disturbance that links with depression. It is common in breakups amd normally will pass.
Author rp123 Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 It'll die down after a while. Its very common and the sleep cycle disturbance can trigger/is triggered by depression. It can be the worst. Try to jumpstart a routine(shave/shower/jog/whatever) and power through it. I have been there, and I have a lifelong sleep disturbance that links with depression. It is common in breakups amd normally will pass. Thank you for the advice...
Maxwell Sage Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Yes. This has been my case for the last two months. Some mornings are worse than others. I suggest listening to good music and enjoying a goof breakfast. I believe that this is due to brain chemistry and how your brain is functioning at the time.
wondering_girl Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 mornings are worse.. i'm on NC day 15 and i woke up this morning with chest pains, i look beside me and he wasn't there........ and i know like for the first week, i would wake up at 4 or 5 and had nightmares... it was horrible and it continues on.... i hope this goes away soon.
BackonTrack2 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 yeah morning were very bad for me at first, she would always be on my mind. i had to read a book to drown out her voice in my head, after about 1 hour of reading, its like my brain went back to normal until night time, then i would lay in bed with her on my mind. this lasted with me at least for about 8 or 9 months.... Night Times, I still think about it, not for long periods of time, maybe 10 or 15 minutes before I go to sleep. The morning effect though, went away about 10 days or so...... Anyways I'm just saying your not alone and it will take before it goes away but you have to keep your brain active, doing something, push through it. My cousin seems to think its because those of the time when your body was most use to her being around... Just food for thought.... Been NC 545 days. Time goes go by in a blink of an eye......
quarterlifecrisis Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I completely agree. Mornings are 10x worse than the rest of the day, especially if you have dreams of your ex before waking up. I feel as if you cannot control your emotions when you are in a hazy state, but a few hours later you are able to be disciplined and logical. Day 14 of NC for me and it's always the same cycle. Feel like absolute crap until lunch time, then feel great at night after completing a day's worth of work, working out, talking with friends, and spending some personal time making myself better.
Exit Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 I believe separation anxiety upon waking is rooted deeply in human nature. When a baby first wakes up it cries when it doesn't see its mother. I think there is definitely something chemical/hormonal about the first second your eyes open and remembering that your loved one is no longer with you, that's why the mornings suck so bad. Allow yourself a few minutes at most to feel crappy but then get up and try to shake it off.
Odyssey Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Hey, make some space on that morning couch, for me The mornings always make me feel crabby after the dreams.
Author rp123 Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 mornings are worse.. i'm on NC day 15 and i woke up this morning with chest pains, i look beside me and he wasn't there........ and i know like for the first week, i would wake up at 4 or 5 and had nightmares... it was horrible and it continues on.... i hope this goes away soon. We are both on day 15! I am so proud of myself through all of this pain! I have learnt so much about myself, and know so much more.... Hang in there! lets set ourselves a target of 20 days!!!
Author rp123 Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 yeah morning were very bad for me at first, she would always be on my mind. i had to read a book to drown out her voice in my head, after about 1 hour of reading, its like my brain went back to normal until night time, then i would lay in bed with her on my mind. this lasted with me at least for about 8 or 9 months.... Night Times, I still think about it, not for long periods of time, maybe 10 or 15 minutes before I go to sleep. The morning effect though, went away about 10 days or so...... Anyways I'm just saying your not alone and it will take before it goes away but you have to keep your brain active, doing something, push through it. My cousin seems to think its because those of the time when your body was most use to her being around... Just food for thought.... Been NC 545 days. Time goes go by in a blink of an eye...... Thank you. Your support means sooo much!! I really mean it!
almita Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Mornings are bad but sunday mornings are a nightmare.... like it was said here best jump out of bed before your brain gets a chance to spell his/her name out !! It's been almost 2 months for me since break up, had a few contacts all of them confusing and NOT helping at all... it is important to think of YOURSELF now and not the dumper. YOU are important. Like I said in my thread my psychologist said I should act as if he is dead and it does help in a way that I don't expect to hear from him which is A LOT !! I don't know what I'll do when I hear from "the dead" but I solve the problem when I come to it... I feel a little better these days and try to stay busy, there a bad days though and BAD mornings....VERY BAD mornings so you are not alone. Hugs Almita "I am a dreamer, but when I wake, you can't break my spirits it's my dreams you take".....
JaggedRoad Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 Mornings are bad but sunday mornings are a nightmare.... like it was said here best jump out of bed before your brain gets a chance to spell his/her name out !! It's been almost 2 months for me since break up, had a few contacts all of them confusing and NOT helping at all... it is important to think of YOURSELF now and not the dumper. YOU are important. Like I said in my thread my psychologist said I should act as if he is dead and it does help in a way that I don't expect to hear from him which is A LOT !! I don't know what I'll do when I hear from "the dead" but I solve the problem when I come to it... I feel a little better these days and try to stay busy, there a bad days though and BAD mornings....VERY BAD mornings so you are not alone. Hugs Almita "I am a dreamer, but when I wake, you can't break my spirits it's my dreams you take"..... Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend... You have been the one, you have been the one for me It's funny that you mentioned the whole "pretend they're dead" mentality. I'm actually writing a memoir and my ex is dead in the first few chapters
Devil Inside Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 I was also this way when I started NC. Wake up at 4 or 5...pit in the stomach..they are the first thing on your mind. It will end. I have been NC about 11 weeks now..and I do not have these "wake-up" calls anymore.
adamt Posted October 14, 2009 Posted October 14, 2009 15 days of NC. The pain is still strong and regular. Especially in the morning. I am always waking early, 4 or 5 am. And it is at this time that the pain, loss , and desperation really hit home... Has anyone noticed this too. yes for 2-3 months i was not sleeping until after 1am and waking up at about 5am. your brain is working over time and never resting. then when you wake up for a second or two you forget you are broken up then you remember and it hits you again. To help me get my sleep back, i started to read books before going to sleep. this helps take your mind off things and helps you feel more tired. then i joined a gym and hammered the gym to make me physically tired. this helped to de-stress me. I also ate really healthy. it takes time, so just stick at those things and it does get better slowly. over 4 months down the line i am sleeping a lot better now. you are in cold turkey and it is pretty normal to be grieving like this
Eisenhower Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Yep, it's funny, at night, I start feeling pretty good and carefree ... go to bed, and then in the morning, when I open my eyes, at the speed of light, it's like it's right there in my face and I'm in pain again. I hate it.
Sbrizio Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Same damn thing. Wake up, thoughs and memories hit me like a punch, i spend at least a couple of hours to brush them off... then through the day a constant struggle to keep "the chin up", then i arrive at night more or less satisfied of my day, feel better, just a little melancholic, then i go to bed... and the cycle starts again. I feel trapped. Hope it gets better...this morning i was almost on tears. Hell.
logitech Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 I only give myself about 15 mins to wake up and go to work. So I don't really get time to dwell. That and usually the traffic to work distracts me enough. I have idle time through the middle of the day and that's usually when it strikes. If it hits you in the morning maybe give yourself a task. Have a list of words in another language nearby that you want to learn. Since you are only waking up usually it will be hard to focus on more than one thing at a time. Anything like this could help.
Kaya Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 You could also try something called the "morning pages". Google it to find out more, but it's basically writing three pages, first thing every morning. Just write down whatever comes into your head. Helps to get all the thoughts and feelings out before you start the day. Don't read what you've written until much later.
delajoonal Posted October 15, 2009 Posted October 15, 2009 15 days of NC. The pain is still strong and regular. Especially in the morning. I am always waking early, 4 or 5 am. And it is at this time that the pain, loss , and desperation really hit home... Has anyone noticed this too. YES...same as me...i am up now since about 4 am...although morning is sucky, bedtime is also sucky...the comfort of knowing H is home we are watching TV, talking or he is in his computer room...just miss the regular things we did in life..nothing special..just being in the same house at the end of everyday. i think too, i was up at that early hour making H's lunch everyday. now..i just kinda wander around watch TV, come here to LS. after 14 years..i am lost:(
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