Houndsoflove Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 This guy and I have been dating 2 months, he's great and were happy, having fun, etc. Recently I've come across some porn he looks at/has on his computer.. The first time was when I was on the web doing my thing, and came across porn searches. I guess that's what hed looked at the night before. I was initially surprised then found it funny.. every guy I've dated and every guy I know looks at porn when theyre alone, that's not much of a big deal. Then recently I opened the downloads folder on his desktop to get a music file and from there i was led to his porn stash. I was really surprised he even had one. There werent many files, maybe 30-45 altogether, some of it was 'girls gone wild' type of stuff, but most of the girls werent very attractive. he had about 6 images of redheads, but not sexy at all. They were all very pale and washed out looking, thin hair, with overall unattractive features. A few looked like regular facebook/myspace pictures and I did recognize one girl from his facebook. One girl I thought was a thin older lady in a swimsuit turned out to be just a weird looking girl sitting on the beach next to her baby brother. There was a video of people having a threesome that had a filter on it so you could only watch it with 3-d glasses on(WTF?). I'd say 65% of it was like that. Most of the time I was thinking "what the hell?" But the thing that bothered me was the frequency at which he watched them. On all files the date and time it was downloaded, and the date and time it was last opened is available, and 85-90% of them had been downloaded after we met(as soon as two weeks after we met), then opened again at a later date. I checked the times on all of them, and many of them were looked at at weird unnecessary moments - right before meeting up with me, when he left my place to pick something up at his then come right back, or right after work(maybe not so weird) even though hes gonna see me in an hour or two. I know why people/guys look at porn. My ego wasnt 100% unaffected but I know I'm a cool, attractive person. If he wants to spank the monkey while I'm not around, go ahead. I look at porn too. But we've only been dating for two months, our sex is still hot, new, spontaneous, and is pretty damn interactive.. there isnt time to stop, close your eyes, and think about so and so photo. I like good sex and I'm inclined to keep things interesting. Our relationship isn't very involved yet, I dont imagine that thinking of me comes with a lot of baggage. So the thing is - why the hell would you look at porn just before meeting up with me? or if youre just stopping by your place to get something? Also, most of it was downloaded AFTER we met. If he's a dude whos just that into porn, wouldnt he have a collection by now? He's had the computer for long enough. The earliest dated file was downloaded two weeks before we met, and there are only about 3 of them. What's up with that?
CarrieT Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 If he thought you were going to have sex, he might have wanted to wank off so that he could last longer when he was with you. Otherwise he might be a 2-minute guy...
tomtom26 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 This guy and I have been dating 2 months, he's great and were happy, having fun, etc. Recently I've come across some porn he looks at/has on his computer.. The first time was when I was on the web doing my thing, and came across porn searches. I guess that's what hed looked at the night before. I was initially surprised then found it funny.. every guy I've dated and every guy I know looks at porn when theyre alone, that's not much of a big deal. Then recently I opened the downloads folder on his desktop to get a music file and from there i was led to his porn stash. I was really surprised he even had one. There werent many files, maybe 30-45 altogether, some of it was 'girls gone wild' type of stuff, but most of the girls werent very attractive. he had about 6 images of redheads, but not sexy at all. They were all very pale and washed out looking, thin hair, with overall unattractive features. A few looked like regular facebook/myspace pictures and I did recognize one girl from his facebook. One girl I thought was a thin older lady in a swimsuit turned out to be just a weird looking girl sitting on the beach next to her baby brother. There was a video of people having a threesome that had a filter on it so you could only watch it with 3-d glasses on(WTF?). I'd say 65% of it was like that. Most of the time I was thinking "what the hell?" But the thing that bothered me was the frequency at which he watched them. On all files the date and time it was downloaded, and the date and time it was last opened is available, and 85-90% of them had been downloaded after we met(as soon as two weeks after we met), then opened again at a later date. I checked the times on all of them, and many of them were looked at at weird unnecessary moments - right before meeting up with me, when he left my place to pick something up at his then come right back, or right after work(maybe not so weird) even though hes gonna see me in an hour or two. I know why people/guys look at porn. My ego wasnt 100% unaffected but I know I'm a cool, attractive person. If he wants to spank the monkey while I'm not around, go ahead. I look at porn too. But we've only been dating for two months, our sex is still hot, new, spontaneous, and is pretty damn interactive.. there isnt time to stop, close your eyes, and think about so and so photo. I like good sex and I'm inclined to keep things interesting. Our relationship isn't very involved yet, I dont imagine that thinking of me comes with a lot of baggage. So the thing is - why the hell would you look at porn just before meeting up with me? or if youre just stopping by your place to get something? Also, most of it was downloaded AFTER we met. If he's a dude whos just that into porn, wouldnt he have a collection by now? He's had the computer for long enough. The earliest dated file was downloaded two weeks before we met, and there are only about 3 of them. What's up with that? Houndsoflove, listen, most guys like porn, and they will always like porn. We are built different. This thing has NOTHING to do with you. I look at porn, I have ever since I was 12, and the frequency and the reasons didn't change before, during and after relationship. For me, porn never took anything away from my sex lives. It actually made it better. You need to ask yourself why you are so insecure about this issue. I would only get worried about a guy's porn habits if he's substituting your sex life with his porn, which according to you is not the case. Seriously, don't worry about this. You will only drive yourself crazy, and on top of that, if you bring it up to him, he's gonna think you're invading his privacy, over-reacting, and being needy and insecure. These are all attraction killers, so you'll do more harm thinking about it or bringing it up......at least for right now. ONLY bring this up if you feel it is negatively affecting your sex life.
JRod Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Hey, it could be that your guy doesn't have much experience with the ladies and looking for tips on the porn he's downloading. We guys have this fascination with porn that never goes away. You mentioned that everything else is going fine; enjoy the sex, the relationship and be open about your likes and dislikes. Tell him about the porn you found in the computer and see what he says. Good Luck!
wuggle Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Watch the film "There's something about Mary" with Cameron Diaz
ReturnToSender Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Did you say 3D porn?! Oooooh.....! Other than that, especially since you said you dont have a problem with porn, I woudlnt put anything into this as long as its not affecting yours sex life or how he treats you...
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