EarthGirl Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Yeah to some it would sound like a good thing...a little jealousy means that there is real feeling there. The problem is the way he freaks out over things that don't really mean anything...Like worrying about me meeting his friends who happen to be attractive...I have seen videos of them on vacation...And I exchanged several emails with one of them (which HE, my guy, gave me the email originally) and we seemed to "click" and get along quite well. But I try to explain to him it's like a bro/sis thing...They are his "bro's"...He always tells me they are closer to him in some ways than his biological family. I tell him it's like Kate and Tony on NCIS, lol...it's a brother sister thing...both attractive people of the opposite sex, and there's a little "sibling rivalry" back and forth good natured bickering along occasionally with affection other times, but the romantic thing just is not there, never would be, never could be. Then poor Kate dies, and Ziva comes along, and and there is bickering and flirting, but it's a true love thing. So I told him, he is like my Tony...But it doesn't end there...He doesn't like me watching certain shows because he thinks I think the actors on there are cute. And this may sound stupid on my part, but some of those shows are really important to me, not just because of whatever male actor he has it in his mind I have my eye on for some reason..but the other actors and the stories. etc. I am the kind of person that I zero into certain things, certain musicians, certain songs, books, tv shows...like "my favorite things" in The Sound of Music...I have my favorite things and when I lose one I get very upset (VERY upset that this is the last season of Monk)...almost as if I have lost a person. He would never "forbid" me to watch or listen to or do anything or threaten me in any way because he is not controlling, just jealous...so he'll hint about it and maybe only once or twice and then just drop it but I still feel like it bothers him... well I am tired and going to bed, maybe more tomorrow.
Phedre Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 How old are you both and how long have you been dating/married?
Author EarthGirl Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 I'm 27, he's 36....We've know eachother for 8 years, and first got together 7 years ago...right now we have a long distance thing, in fact almost 5 of the 7 years we've been "together" on and off have been long distance..(email, instant messaging, phone, webcam, even snail mail)..very very complicated situation/life circumstances..
Phedre Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Go back and read all the things that he doesn't like or guilts you in to not doing... Do you want to, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, deal with those things? Do you want to not watch Scrubs (or whatever) because you don't want to deal with the snippy comment about one of the doctor's butts and you looking at it, or the sigh that you know means you will be dealing/trying to get him over his poutiness all night? That length of time, that age, just seems like he might be too set in his ways/seem nothing wrong with them at all (and they ARE totally wrong). There is a line to walk when it comes to people of the opposite sex and respecting your partner's wishes/fears/insecurities/requests.. however to me he is going to overboard you are going to end up resenting him. Good Luck though, I feel for you
MichiganMan222 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 Its somewhat understandable that he gets nervous over your 'clicking' with his friends, but being jealous of celebrities of over the top. I would be concerned about that behavior longterm.
Javelin Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 we seemed to "click" and get along quite well. If I were you, I'd drop the unnecessary relationship or whatever you want to call it with his friend. Regardless of how you started to chit-chat and 'click,' it's pretty rude and disrespectful as a girlfriend or boyfriend and won't lead anywhere good for the relationship. As for his celebrity insecurities? Well, that's another story, because he's going to have to get over that eventually!
MichiganMan222 Posted September 28, 2009 Posted September 28, 2009 If I were you, I'd drop the unnecessary relationship or whatever you want to call it with his friend. Regardless of how you started to chit-chat and 'click,' it's pretty rude and disrespectful as a girlfriend or boyfriend and won't lead anywhere good for the relationship. As for his celebrity insecurities? Well, that's another story, because he's going to have to get over that eventually! TOTALLY agree. You see, my ex clicked with a coworker and they had this special relationship. She wanted me to meet her new friend SOOO bad...a few months later, they got engaged. True story.
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