shychica Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Hello, (I've posted this else were, but I did not get a response) Here is the situation. I met a guy about a year and some change ago, and we fell madly in love with each other. After about dating for two months he wanted me to move in. I told him no, because I rather give it more time. He had roommates when we first met, but decided to kick them out because they were not getting along. Well after he kicked them out he was in a financial bind, and I ended up helping him with some finances. I eventually moved in after 6 months. Not long afterwards he loses his job. Now I am taking care of everything in the apartment. After 6 months, he still has not found a job. All he does is play video games and stay up late. We rarely have sex (once a month or less). My family does not care for him. It wasn't until recently that he started looking harder for a job, when I mentioned I wanted to go back to school and planned on moving out so I could save money. He wants to follow me to school (which is in another state), but I don't want him to come because he would be a burden to me. I'm honestly tired of supporting him. I know the economy is bad, but this terrible. Am I being to harsh? What should do?
pinkie Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I wish I could help, but sounds like I'm in a similar situation... I've only known my guy intimately for a few months. However, he moved in on me after staying the night just once! He actually has a job, but its only commission based, I've supported him through some pretty rough times here recently and am now beginning to struggle financially myself. He contributes nothing to the household except cleaning, laundry, etc. Doesn't pay bills or buy food. I really like him and want to see him succeed, but I'm also trying to protect myself. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, though I want to be supportive. He doesn't have a key to my place and I will not allow him to be there without me (usually). I'm having a trust issue . He's just not showing me any stability even though he knows what the issues are, he doesn't seem to be doing anything to help make them better. I also need advice... any help would be greatly appreciated.
boogieboy Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 If youre not in love with him anymore you have to do the right thing and let him go. Hes a grown man, he will stay afloat, you dont have to play mommy to him. Go do your thing, he'll be alright.
bhweller Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 The OP and the woman that posted her own story as the first reply are being used but its also their own fault. Men get used like this all the time, I am living proof. They moved in on you so quick because they were unwilling/unable to pay rent and they didn't want to move back with their parents and had no where else to go. I have seen this before, and the truth is most women do not rescue men. It is almost always the other way around. When women do actually rescue men, the women have major self esteem issues, or are afraid they cannot get another man, or they simply cannot be alone. yes both of you are being used, but its not good enough just to blame the guy and hope for the best in the future. You need to figure out why you let these guys move in on you so quickly, otherwise it will happen again.
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