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Do men do these things too? Be honest...

ecm

By ecm
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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ecm Established Member

ecm

Posted
Posted

I have read some funny things on here and have talked to many girls about the crazy things we do when we are "scorned". So, I want to know...

 

BEFORE you read this and think I'm asking because IIIIIIIIIII do these things, or that IIIIIIII am one of those crazy chicks, please note- I may or may not be. HOWEVER, if guys didn't go around playing hide the salami in locations it shouldn't be played, nobody would feel the NEED to act a fool. ok?

 

1) do guys sit home and wonder what WE are doing on the weekend after a breakup?

 

2) do they do drive-bys and other stalker-like activities?

 

I don't want to make a lengthy list, but basically I just want to know...what do guys do after a breakup? (and don't get fresh and say look for more "tail" because it's way too predictable)...I mean if they are sad or unsure about it.

 

Thanks. I seriously want to know... :)

skreen23 Established Member

skreen23

Posted
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Personally i wondered if she was happy and if i truly made her that miserable during the relationship. I have driven pass her place of work hoping to see her face and then been glad i hadn't. Although i have been flirting alot with women lately and doing plenty of window shopping i'm still too angry to be with someone yet.

I've talked the ears off my friend about my problems, drank a lot of beer, wine and whiskey. Went to the gym loads, smoked a lot of grass, started drawing and writing again.

Oh yeah watched alot of porn and learned to love myself again (in a physical way).

I'm in danger of getting a repetitive stress injury in my right wrist.

Exit Established Member

Exit

Posted
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In my case it's a big YES to both lol.

 

Too many topics on this forum are about "guys do this" "girls do that", we're all human and there are a lot of common behaviors.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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1) do guys sit home and wonder what WE are doing on the weekend after a breakup?

most do

 

2) do they do drive-bys and other stalker-like activities?

some do

clv0116 Established Member

clv0116

Posted
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I get on with dating the other chicks I was already dating, or getting some girls in my dating queue. Before I multi-dated I would feel pretty alone and spend an inordinate amount of time mulling over the past but now it's not such a big deal.

 

I still sometimes worry and hope they are doing OK. Heck, my first GF from when I was a kid still sometimes emails me but it's not like we're gonna pick it up or anything, she's in her 40s after all, and has grandkids.

 

1) do guys sit home and wonder what WE are doing on the weekend after a breakup?

 

Almost never.

 

 

2) do they do drive-bys and other stalker-like activities?

 

Never.

Notsogood Established Member

Notsogood

Posted
Posted
I have read some funny things on here and have talked to many girls about the crazy things we do when we are "scorned". So, I want to know...

 

BEFORE you read this and think I'm asking because IIIIIIIIIII do these things, or that IIIIIIII am one of those crazy chicks, please note- I may or may not be. HOWEVER, if guys didn't go around playing hide the salami in locations it shouldn't be played, nobody would feel the NEED to act a fool. ok?

 

1) do guys sit home and wonder what WE are doing on the weekend after a breakup?

 

2) do they do drive-bys and other stalker-like activities?

 

I don't want to make a lengthy list, but basically I just want to know...what do guys do after a breakup? (and don't get fresh and say look for more "tail" because it's way too predictable)...I mean if they are sad or unsure about it.

 

Thanks. I seriously want to know... :)

 

For me, I think about her all the time. Its been 4 months since my breakup now (2 months NC) and I still think of her as much as I ever did. It still brings the same pain and sadness inside me but I have learnt to live with it now and hide my emotions better I guess. I think about her the most at nights, mornings and weekends. I have been working out alot now and getting plenty of exercise and this helps in keeping my mind off things and helping me sleep at night. In terms of stalking, the only thing I did was check up on her facebook often during the first 2 months of the breakup. I am still friends with her on FB, but have not checked her facebook for the last 2 months as I realised this was self destructive and it was just hurting me too much. However, I must admit that everywhere I go, I still lookout for her, hoping that I will run into her by chance. I never physically stalked her though, like going to her house, work etc.

Taucher Established Member

Taucher

Posted
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Personally I think that dumpers behave similar and dumpees behave similarly regardless of gender.

 

But to answer your queries,

 

1) yes, I think about my ex ALL THE TIME. I wonder if she thinks about me and what she thinks about me. That's what is so hard. And why do you specify the weekend after the breakup? It has been EVERY weekend, day night since she left me.

 

2) No, I have not really stalked her apart from looking at her profile picture on Facebook alot over the first two months. She lives only 2 minute walk away from me and I live in fear that I am going to bump into her. My best friend (he is also my flatmate now) bumped into her last week. She was upset to see him apparantly but he didnt go over to talk to her.

 

T

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

This was 20-something years ago but, yeah, I did some drive-bys. I also sent a package of her cards and love-notes to her husband ;)

 

Stupid in retrospect, but I was young and stupid. Hasn't happened since.

 

These days, in the midst of a divorce, I adopted a cat, hang out with friends and travel, along with the usual work and chores. I do NOT 'drive by' my stbx's house. I am, however, civil with her. Kinda boring, I guess ....

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ecm Established Member

ecm

Posted
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And why do you specify the weekend after the breakup? It has been EVERY weekend, day night since she left me.

T

 

I guess I worded that badly. I meant on weekendS after a breakup, not THE weekend after a breakup. But I guess I really was wondering a breakup in general. For me, it's worse on the weekends, that's all.

 

I've just heard people always say things like "Guys are different" or "They don't worry about things like we do" or "They don't overanalyze every little word/ thing that happens like we do". So, I just want to see what people have to say.

 

I guess I also didn't mean do you SIT home BECAUSE of a breakup and think about our ex... it was really more about do you THINK about your ex. I just wonder if he thinks about what a MISTAKE he made.

 

thanks for the responses so far :)

 

PS facebook makes it waaaay too easy. Some people might call that bad, but come on! It's s hard NOT to. I think it's better just to delete them and hope their profile is private so you aren't even tempted, I think.

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ecm Established Member

ecm

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This was 20-something years ago but, yeah, I did some drive-bys. I also sent a package of her cards and love-notes to her husband ;)

 

Stupid in retrospect, but I was young and stupid. Hasn't happened since.

 

Carhill- that's BAD! LOL. Never heard THAT one before.

Odyssey Established Member

Odyssey

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(1) In all my breakups, i'd pine about my ex 24/7, not just the weekends! What she's doing? What she's thinking? What she's feeling? Does she miss me? Dwell on the good stuff.

 

(2) In my teens, i acted crazy... as in crazy stalker behaviour to try to win my ex back. It's funny looking back now. But glad to say, never done it again.

logitech Established Member

logitech

Posted
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I still carry a picture of us in my wallet. Two months on...

Odyssey Established Member

Odyssey

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I've just heard people always say things like "Guys are different" or "They don't worry about things like we do" or "They don't overanalyze every little word/ thing that happens like we do". So, I just want to see what people have to say.

 

Oh I do, especially if the breakup had little reason. I tend to over-analyse repeatedly, every word, to find an answer. Those endless flashbacks can drive me crazy sometimes. But as always, they eventually disappear with time.

 

If i did the dumping, i find i'm analysing a lot less.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
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Carhill- that's BAD! LOL. Never heard THAT one before.

LOL, I was a first-class b!tch. According to her, she still has them. She got the mail that day. ;)

fiser360 Established Member

fiser360

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Sadly 3 months into the break up. I still think about her every minute of every day, and then dream about her at night. I always wonder what she could be up to and if she is thinking about me. I always over-analyze everything she says to me, or texts to me.

After the break up for about a week or so, I did drive by her house periodically I am ashamed to say. But other than that I didn't do much. But it seems like every time I REALLY wondered where she was..I would stumble into her. And I am with Logitech too, I still carry several pictures of us and her in my wallet.

I just hope it gets better soon. For all of us.

jaybird1043 Member

jaybird1043

Posted
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Ugh, yes we do those things, and look at FaceBook updates. Why though? I do not anymore but for the first month, everyday a few times a day!!!

NopeNah Established Member

NopeNah

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I still carry a picture of us in my wallet. Two months on...
You shouldn't be doing that. ;)
clv0116 Established Member

clv0116

Posted
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Some of you "men" need to grow a set.

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ecm Established Member

ecm

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Hey clv0116- not nice. :mad:

 

Also, you never answered my question about "multi-dating"

clv0116 Established Member

clv0116

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Hey clv0116- not nice. :mad:

 

Ya, I'm not in the lie to make them feel good biz.

 

 

 

Also, you never answered my question about "multi-dating"

 

Didn't see you ask.

Thaddeus Established Member

Thaddeus

Posted
Posted
1) do guys sit home and wonder what WE are doing on the weekend after a breakup?

 

2) do they do drive-bys and other stalker-like activities?

Not since high school when we were still rubbing sticks together to create fire.
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ecm Established Member

ecm

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Dear clv0116- Can you please tell me what multi-dating is? (oops, I thought I asked after I read your response) :p

 

( I know what I think it is, I just don't want to assume anything)

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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Dear clv0116- Can you please tell me what multi-dating is? (oops, I thought I asked after I read your response) :p

 

( I know what I think it is, I just don't want to assume anything)

dating multiple people at the same time

clv0116 Established Member

clv0116

Posted
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Dear clv0116- Can you please tell me what multi-dating is?

 

Alpha got it, but I owe you an answer so it's essentially non-exclusively dating the same person(s) for a period of time. Women have done it forever but they call it "just being friends".

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ecm Established Member

ecm

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Thanks, boys. I figured that's what it was. I've just never heard anyone call it that before. And clv0116- these multiple girls are ok with this?! I could, never I don't think. #1) I don't like to share #2) all the other girls would be "second place" ;)

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