weeble78 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Hey guys I went out on a first date last night and had the BEST time and I mean it was fantastic! However, I left a 7 year relationship one month ago and the guy I went out with last night was asking a million questions about my past relationship and how I feel about it now. The truth is, I feel like I left the relationship emotionally about a year ago, and I just feel like I've done my moving on. The guy I was with cheated on me, I walked out the door and never looked back. What do you all think?
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 Dating again after only one month, why? Do you need to be in a relationship? Does the attention of new guys make you feel validated? Are you afraid of being single? Do you think it will make you look like a failure in the 'power struggle' all couples inevitably go through after a break up if you're not with someone else already? These are honest questions. 7 years is a long time. A good chunk of singledom works wonders for your character. Too few girls take advantage of that fact. By the way, it's not a crime to rebound- as long as others don't get hurt in the process. Make sure you're both (you and the guy you're dating) on the same page so that he knows exactly what outcome to expect from all this. Edit: You don't have to be hurt in order to enjoy singledom. I'm not calling you a victim. It's more meant for building self dependency than 'recovery time'.
Author weeble78 Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 I've always loved my time spent being single and have turned down offers if I didn't feel they're right for me. Now I have pretty much felt single for the last two years of the old relationship I was in due to the way my then bf treated me. I spent those two years going out and meeting new people on my own, taking myself out for dinner, buying myself presents - I was a VERY self-dependent person and in fact, so was my ex! (dependent on me that is) This is why I feel strange as I feel I SHOULD be taking time out, but it feels so fantastic to finally connect with somebody as I haven't felt this for a long time. I'm just interested to hear opinions x
Butterflying Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 It's only a rebound when you still have unresolved feelings for your ex. Otherwise, you're just moving on to something better.
Author weeble78 Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 Thanks Butterflyin, it's nice to hear another opinion!
indie22 Posted September 26, 2009 Posted September 26, 2009 From what you have posted, of course its not rebounding!!! You have made it clear that your heart has moved on elsewhere, and it seems like you are enjoying the dating life... I think the guy just wanted to know where you were emotionally as far as your situation with the guy who cheated. Now if you are still in love with the guy, and started dating right after the break up, that would be different. Hey guys I went out on a first date last night and had the BEST time and I mean it was fantastic! However, I left a 7 year relationship one month ago and the guy I went out with last night was asking a million questions about my past relationship and how I feel about it now. The truth is, I feel like I left the relationship emotionally about a year ago, and I just feel like I've done my moving on. The guy I was with cheated on me, I walked out the door and never looked back. What do you all think?
stepka Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I think we all have our own timetable and no one else can tell you when you're ready. If you meet someone great, go for it, but move slowly and examine your motives at all times.
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