SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I know plenty of former nice guys that threw in the towel and became bad boys. Myself included, lol. Got to question if they were really that nice to begin with, but anyway. Not getting what you want, whilst someone gets it, is one of the most corrupting things in humanity. Whenever there is a lot of money to be made, you will often find good cops sucked into corruption simply because they see how much money is to be made. Temptation.........one of the roots of all human evils. Lack of self control is also another one what ever happened to just being yourself and trying to find some one who would except you as you are all this acting and jumping Thu hoops ima good guy no now ima bad boy must be exhausting no wonder people guys and girls cant find any one and when they do it doesn't last why? cause of all the acting going on..
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 [/b] Yeah, i just read the entire thread. And what do you mean what's my point? YOU JUST READ MY POINT. What, I cant say what i want to say because somebody else put it another way or something? So what's your point? Oh, because acording to your own survey here above, you are a nice and not confident guy yourself? Or are you the not nice/player wanna be..since you said the nice and confident ones are the rarest. Hey..does my saying this make me not nice? Or are people overly sensitive? But, you want to know my point. My point is, why dont those nice but NOT confident men man up and GET some confidence?? THAT is an issue that can be worked on, unlike whether you are attractive or not. You cant change what God gave you, but if you are getting over looked by women because you lack the confidence to put yourself out there in another way besides being a scared, non verbal mouse, well..sorry. I have a touch of social anxiety. I don't like crowds too much. But, that doesn't help me in meeting people, does it? I consider myself a nice person in a dating relationship. So, using my own affliction, if i were to go out to an event and hide myself in corner and and act all uncomfortable if a man approached me, would it be fair to say men dont like nice women if I got no men trying to get to know me? So, i either work on that or sit in my house all day. I have gotten much better. Thanks for asking. That's just human nature for you. There's the strong and the weak. If EVERYONE was the best, then who's going to be the worst? If EVERYONE was confident then confidence wouldn't be as special. If EVERYONE was rich, well.........there's not enough to go around for EVERYONE to be rich. Human society is built on some being stronger and some weaker. A weaker person can fight to become stronger, but lots of weak people are too lazy, weak minded and well........too weak to get on top. They don't even try, and would just rather be average. Welcome to the human condition.
WineCountry Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 So nice guys aren't even real men is what your saying here? no wonder so many guys act like total wankers most of the time with this mentality am I the only one who finds this disturbing? No, I find that disturbing too. I DO like nice guys. I just dont get it. Either people are thinking of some mousey guy who cant communicate well with women and is a doormat as the typical "nice guy" ( and it would be his lack of confidence that's the issue)..... Or..just like women do..these guys are simply whining about a certain segment of women who like a-holes. Perhaps THIS is more like it. Just because women may complain about certain types of men, it does not mean ALL men are like that. Same with women. If you are meeting women who TRULY seem to like men that treat them like dirt, that is only a percentage of women. You can't change that. There will always be those. And sometimes, women who get with guys like that have some issues going on. For instance, women who are always getting with men who beat them. That is a whole nother situation right there. All kinds of deep seeded issues, self esteem problems, etc could be going on there.
WineCountry Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 That's just human nature for you. There's the strong and the weak. If EVERYONE was the best, then who's going to be the worst? If EVERYONE was confident then confidence wouldn't be as special. If EVERYONE was rich, well.........there's not enough to go around for EVERYONE to be rich. Human society is built on some being stronger and some weaker. A weaker person can fight to become stronger, but lots of weak people are too lazy, weak minded and well........too weak to get on top. They don't even try, and would just rather be average. Welcome to the human condition. I can agree with that.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Hkizzle is just stirring up the pot whine don't take to seriously he likes to start controversial threads to get people going and then he boils it down to how there are week and strong demand and supply blah blah lol I'm done I'm not buying into it anymore but feel free to keep going I'm sure hes getting a kick out of it I think if I remember right hes collecting it for some physic book he said hes writing or something Na this Ginnie pig has left the building lol..
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Lack of self control is also another one what ever happened to just being yourself and trying to find some one who would except you as you are all this acting and jumping Thu hoops ima good guy no now ima bad boy must be exhausting no wonder people guys and girls cant find any one and when they do it doesn't last why? cause of all the acting going on.. Survival of the fittest. You can fight mother nature with ideals but in the long term the smart and the strong will win. Your theory doesn't work because the 40 yr old virgin that's being himself gets fed up when he turns 41.
BobSacamento Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 What do nice guys do to make themselves seem like nice guys at a club? Guard their purses while they go dancing? Did you literally walk up to women and say "Hi I'm John, I'm a nice guy."
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 What do nice guys do to make themselves seem like nice guys at a club? Guard their purses while they go dancing? Did you literally walk up to women and say "Hi I'm John, I'm a nice guy." Haha, no, you just walk up "hi my name is xyz" and then you start talking in a friendly manner, especially with a follow up like "so you come here often?" Lots of womne say be straight up, but straight up isn't going to get you anywhere. Shows that men don't really know how to game themselves.
BobSacamento Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Haha, no, you just walk up "hi my name is xyz" and then you start talking in a friendly manner, especially with a follow up like "so you come here often?" Lots of womne say be straight up, but straight up isn't going to get you anywhere. Shows that men don't really know how to game themselves. That's not "a nice guy". That's boring. Now what do you usually say when you walk up to women when you are a "jerk"?
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 That's not "a nice guy". That's boring. Now what do you usually say when you walk up to women when you are a "jerk"? Nice guys are generally boring...........
BobSacamento Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Nice guys are generally boring........... Yeah but just because your boring doesn't mean your a nice guy.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Yeah but just because your boring doesn't mean your a nice guy. That was a lame attempt. But good try. You're right, just because a person is boring doesn't mean he's nice. Again, most nice guys are boring........
BobSacamento Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Do you know what it is to be "a nice guy"?
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Do you know what it is to be "a nice guy"? Well everyone seems to have slightly different definitions. Mine is simply a man that will treat a woman well and with respect. Again, most nice guys are boring.
BobSacamento Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 So what do you do when a approaching a woman that defines you as a "jerk"?
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 So what do you do when a approaching a woman that defines you as a "jerk"? Dude, you're just looking for ammo to shoot me down ,that's evident from your tone and this exchange. You should just disagree like the others, what you're doing is obvious and lame. I'm going to the gym, later.
BobSacamento Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I'm just curious. You seem to have all the answers.
WineCountry Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Dude, you're just looking for ammo to shoot me down ,that's evident from your tone and this exchange. You should just disagree like the others, what you're doing is obvious and lame. I'm going to the gym, later. No HKizzle..answer Bob's question. That is a GREAT question, because that may give some insight into why you think the way you do. You are AVOIDING his question because you GET the implication his question may offer. That perhaps when you go up to women with that "I dont give a crap" attitude in your HEAD, and it works for you..maybe what's really coming through is CONFIDENCE, and THAT is what the woman is responding to. You may THINK you are being a jerk because in your head you have thrown caution to the wind, got a bit of a swagger in your step, and just stepped right up into a woman's space, and hit her with your best ammo without a care in the world as to whether you get rejected because you have told yourself in your head that you are this badass. You may be saying close to the same type of thing you say when you are in your good guy role, but maybe with just a bit of more of a twist, and said with more confidence and swagger. Or maybe not. But this is why I too want to know exactly what you are saying and doing when approaching a woman that will define you as a "jerk". That was an excellent question from Bob. And you made no bones about showing your avoidance to the question. Interesting.
Left in a Lurch Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Nice guys are generally boring........... I think nice guys are perceived as generally boring because a lot of women don't spend more than 5 minutes to find out anything about them and they are not usually boastful. They show themselves through their actions and not so much with their mouth. The ones with the gift of gab can make up a persona of this great interesting guy and 1/2 the time they can't keep a job, their hobby is drinking and they tend to leave out parts like their main goal is not having money and looking for a woman to pay their bills for a while. That sounds boring to me.
Woggle Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 I think nice guys are perceived as generally boring because a lot of women don't spend more than 5 minutes to find out anything about them and they are not usually boastful. They show themselves through their actions and not so much with their mouth. The ones with the gift of gab can make up a persona of this great interesting guy and 1/2 the time they can't keep a job, their hobby is drinking and they tend to leave out parts like their main goal is not having money and looking for a woman to pay their bills for a while. That sounds boring to me. Very true. I look at most of these guys that women go nuts over and I would not want to hang out with most of them. I see right through their facade and phony persona. They would also be shaking like a leaf if they ever had to go face to face with real bad boys.
JohnP82 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Hmm, another nice guy versus jerk thread. I suppose my behavior was typical nice guy stuff; open car door, pay for meals, listen to her talk about whatever mundane thing happened at work that day, I even remember buying her a book that she had been looking forever for along with my favorite cough drops when she was sick with the flu. I don't think that I did those things out of some sort of covert contract (man I hate those words) but I really cared for her, plus she was my first girlfriend. After I was dropped I did a lot of research and realized my behavior was not helpful in keeping a girl. I was so pissed that what I had been raised to believe in how to treat women by my parents was so wrong that I decided to turn into a jerk. I basically went from treating women like princesses to ****. As you may have guessed my change in behavior resulted in tremendous success with women. I guess I don't know what to think. I mean as someone said earlier maybe women aren't able to easily distinguish between a jerk and a good guy. By good guy I mean someone that is between a nice guy and jerk; confident, interesting, caring, etc. I don' think they liked to be treated like ****, but it happens all of the time and they stick around. Currently I'm trying hard to be the good guy, but it's difficult to find the middle ground. It's also difficult to find a girl worth that middle ground.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 No HKizzle..answer Bob's question. That is a GREAT question, because that may give some insight into why you think the way you do. You are AVOIDING his question because you GET the implication his question may offer. That perhaps when you go up to women with that "I dont give a crap" attitude in your HEAD, and it works for you..maybe what's really coming through is CONFIDENCE, and THAT is what the woman is responding to. You may THINK you are being a jerk because in your head you have thrown caution to the wind, got a bit of a swagger in your step, and just stepped right up into a woman's space, and hit her with your best ammo without a care in the world as to whether you get rejected because you have told yourself in your head that you are this badass. You may be saying close to the same type of thing you say when you are in your good guy role, but maybe with just a bit of more of a twist, and said with more confidence and swagger. Or maybe not. But this is why I too want to know exactly what you are saying and doing when approaching a woman that will define you as a "jerk". That was an excellent question from Bob. And you made no bones about showing your avoidance to the question. Interesting. Back from lunch and the gym. Look, Bob wasn't trying to ask a good question, he was trying to get ammo. I smell his BS. But to answer your question. Yes, internal state matters a lot. It actually has more to do with what you're thinking and how you're saying it (voice tonality, volume, pace) than what you're saying. If you don't give a shxt then it takes out the neediness from the voice. To be honest maybe I was acting a bit too ridiculous in my nice guy role. When ever I approached I made sure I was thinking about the girl I liked and pretended it was her, and just hesitating slightly. It's amazing how well women can pick up hesitation and awkwardness.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 I think nice guys are perceived as generally boring because a lot of women don't spend more than 5 minutes to find out anything about them and they are not usually boastful. They show themselves through their actions and not so much with their mouth. The ones with the gift of gab can make up a persona of this great interesting guy and 1/2 the time they can't keep a job, their hobby is drinking and they tend to leave out parts like their main goal is not having money and looking for a woman to pay their bills for a while. That sounds boring to me. Yeah self promotion is part of a player's game. However most of the players I know are either bankers or lawyers. So you can't exactly say they don't have decent careers, lol.
hannie_1988 Posted September 27, 2009 Posted September 27, 2009 Many guys are *******s, it's really hard to find a decent man. I've been through with so many *******s and never have a chance to find a nice guy to be with. It's not true that women aren't attracted to nice guys! Where did you hear this from? Women who ends up finding jerk guys are desperate because they don't what they want or assume they were nice from the start? Men is hard to rely on, how can I know that this one is going to be a real one and then the end, he's going to turn out a jerk typical guy? :S Men need to stop play mind games and move on with their lives and learn how to respect women properly.
Author Hkizzle Posted September 27, 2009 Author Posted September 27, 2009 Men need to stop play mind games and move on with their lives and learn how to respect women properly. Well that's hopeful. That's like wishing the entire US prison population won't commit crimes again when they get out of jail. Ok so basically you have a problem spotting a jerk. Can I ask how long is it usually between the first date and when you first have sex with a guy?
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