Bad boys come first, gay men second, nice guys come last

[carhill]

A nice guy is something comfortable in his skin who does not play social roles to get that p ussy. The only problem is that once women start paying any attention to him they have already had sex with more men than what can be counted using all fingers

 

At my age, that would be fingers, toes, and moving on to other, less defined digits

 

Before I was angry, but now I am happy they avoided me in their quest for their own personal nirvana. Let God's will be done

[Sam Spade]

Women want what they can't have, so it follows that they will find gay men at least relatively attractive by virtue of their near-total lack of sexual interest. When a woman is with a gay man, she is thinking, "how can he have a penis but not want to get into my pants?" Of course, some women even go so far as to try and seduce gay men - this gives them great validation of their belief that they can conquer any man.

 

Gay men, despite their (sometimes) effeminate tendencies, have one thing in common with straight male jerks: They will say what they want around a female, even if it means offending her. I've seen countless gay men playfully cut down a woman on her wardrobe, makeup, even her weight. Do the women in question take umbrage and walk away? Hell, no. They eat it up and stay for more. I'd say a guy with great game (read: "jerk"), if he knows what he's doing, can get away with maybe 80-90% of what a flippant gay man does - the only difference being a woman knows that the player wants her 'gina.

 

A nice guy, by contrast, will self-censor, be overly polite, over-compliment, buy gifts, worry about offending, not know how to run game, place her on a pedestal, ask her permission for a kiss, and - if he gets that far - perform sex in a timid and unsatisfying way. Boring.

 

Nevertheless, a woman will always tell you she's looking for a "nice guy." Don't listen to her. She's just saying that to justify her erstwhile sex-romps with players who pump-and-dump her. A female would rather share part of a real man than have a total nice guy all to herself.

 

SS

 

PS: Females on the board will disagree, but as I've said before, watch what women DO. Don't listen to what they say.

 

And then there are rarities, like the Spade&Spade crew (Ace of Spades?) here (), providing the best of all worlds and what any woman wants - to be torn apart, but politely and with a touch of class .

[Angel1111]

A lot of women like gay guys because they're like having a girlfriend around, or a man who doesn't make them feel pressured. They're just fun. And some people think it's cool to have gay friends.

 

What women are attracted to in the 'bad boy' is his self-confidence, his drive, and his strength. Where men are attracted to beauty and sweetness, women are attracted to strength and confidence. Most men who refer to themselves as 'nice guys' mean that they have no backbone, they're wimpy, and needy. If you send that vibe, most women are going to bolt.

 

There are lots of true 'nice guys' out there and the women they're with wouldn't trade them for anything in the world because they know they have a prize.

[stace79]

Lol I love it how the girl above you called my a misogynist. I don't even know what they word means, you Americans are so friggin "sex wars" sensitive. I started a thread for interesting discussion, I have no hate for women. This is part of my research. Stop the sex wars insecurity, I find it no where else in the world.

 

sorry, back to my point.

 

Many women fall for jerks without understand BOTH jerks AND themselves enough. If they really understood what they truly wanted then they wouldn't go for any confident man that comes along to fill their void. They would be able to identify and spot the nice and confident guys.

 

Instead they go for whoever creates the chemisty and then months later, come of this board asking why their boyfriend has stopped calling?

 

It's not because women like jerks. It's because people in general will find any excuse to justify why their SO is not doing [insert thing here] rather than just admitting that the person doesn't truly love them. Admitting that fact would force us to consider the possibility that something was wrong with us.

 

And men do it just as often as women do.

[Hkizzle]

It's not because women like jerks. It's because people in general will find any excuse to justify why their SO is not doing [insert thing here] rather than just admitting that the person doesn't truly love them. Admitting that fact would force us to consider the possibility that something was wrong with us.

 

And men do it just as often as women do.

 

I never said women like jerks. I said women like confidence, but many women are so blind to this they can't spot when a confident man is playing the game.

 

Admitting someone is just not that into you is cool, but ITS TOO LATE. Then you're emotionally attached already. Figuring how to spot the guy early is the key.

[Sam Spade]

Lol I love it how the girl above you called my a misogynist. I don't even know what they word means, you Americans are so friggin "sex wars" sensitive. I started a thread for interesting discussion, I have no hate for women. This is part of my research. Stop the sex wars insecurity, I find it no where else in the world.

 

sorry, back to my point.

 

Many women fall for jerks without understand BOTH jerks AND themselves enough. If they really understood what they truly wanted then they wouldn't go for any confident man that comes along to fill their void. They would be able to identify and spot the nice and confident guys.

 

Instead they go for whoever creates the chemisty and then months later, come of this board asking why their boyfriend has stopped calling?

 

 

Here's an alternative and - naturally - much more mysoginistic theory :

 

girls are not funny (and i mean literally - just look at the negligible number of female comedians), and not that exciting/adventurous, hence the need to find an outside source of fun and excitement. Of course an individual with deviant tendencies and motorcycle will provide more of that. Take to cool dive bars, grab her no-no parts in public etc., or any other subtler way of introducing drama and energy in the girl's life. All women have those needs to some extent, but in some through lack of self-awareness it evolves into stereotypical flakiness and stupidity .

(Guys, on the other hand, would rather have peace and calm, hence why th e"nice girls" are in much higher demand ). I have spokken .

[Hkizzle]

A lot of women like gay guys because they're like having a girlfriend around, or a man who doesn't make them feel pressured. They're just fun. And some people think it's cool to have gay friends.

 

What women are attracted to in the 'bad boy' is his self-confidence, his drive, and his strength. Where men are attracted to beauty and sweetness, women are attracted to strength and confidence. Most men who refer to themselves as 'nice guys' mean that they have no backbone, they're wimpy, and needy. If you send that vibe, most women are going to bolt.

 

There are lots of true 'nice guys' out there and the women they're with wouldn't trade them for anything in the world because they know they have a prize.

 

Perfectly said.

 

Many women need to understand this about themselves, plus that men can't be changed, ir a jerk will remain a jerk. The two pieces of knowledge together allows a woman to change her dating strategy completetly.

[stace79]

I never said women like jerks. I said women like confidence, but many women are so blind to this they can't spot when a confident man is playing the game.

 

Admitting someone is just not that into you is cool, but ITS TOO LATE. Then you're emotionally attached already. Figuring how to spot the guy early is the key.

 

Sounds like you're just trying to avoid being hurt. Without being hurt, you can't appreciate when you feel wonderful.

 

I inserted "jerk" for "bad boy". Same thing to me.

[Angel1111]

I never said women like jerks. I said women like confidence, but many women are so blind to this they can't spot when a confident man is playing the game.

 

Admitting someone is just not that into you is cool, but ITS TOO LATE. Then you're emotionally attached already. Figuring how to spot the guy early is the key.

 

Most men can't see when a woman is playing them, either, but women see it as plain as day. It's the nature of the sexes - they can fool the opposite sex, but they can rarely fool their own sex.

[Hkizzle]

Sounds like you're just trying to avoid being hurt. Without being hurt, you can't appreciate when you feel wonderful.

 

.

 

Lol, only a woman could have come up with that statement. This is why men don't get it when women act like lemmings running over a cliff because just out of reach there's a sign that says love. Whilst at the bottom of the cliff, there's a bigger sign that says heartache.

 

Smart women will learn from it. Like one of the posters said, this seperates the girls from the women. The women actually adjust their strategy from the painful experiences. The ones that don't learn bang their heads for the rest of their lives and then say they've got BAD LUCK.

[New Again]

 

WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO NICE GUYS!

 

I'm gonna go ahead and agree with you. Women are attracted to GOOD guys. Not weenies, ie "nice" guys.

[Sam Spade]

 

Smart women will learn from it. Like one of the posters said, this seperates the girls from the women. The women actually adjust their strategy from the painful experiences. The ones that don't learn bang their heads for the rest of their lives and then say they've got BAD LUCK.

 

Yes! hall of famer .

 

Perhaps bad experiences are desireable?

It took my current gf TWO bad experiences with men to figure it out and turn into very balanced and realistic woman who appreciates the good things about me and doesn't get too worked up about the bad .

 

Conversely, I don't think my exGF has had many particularly BAD experiences with men, but 10+ men and a couple of self-sabotaged relationships later she still has not figured it out (and keeps running towards the cliff ).

[Sam Spade]

This persistent stereotype abouf nice guys and bad boys is the reason I feel compelled to growl and smash something :mad: every time my GF tells me that I'm a nice guy, while in reality she simply and well-intentionatelly acknowledges that (forcefully expressed opinions notwithstanding,) uncle Sam is basically a decent guy

[Island Girl]

Lol I love it how the girl above you called my a misogynist. I don't even know what they word means, you Americans are so friggin "sex wars" sensitive. I started a thread for interesting discussion, I have no hate for women. This is part of my research. Stop the sex wars insecurity, I find it no where else in the world.

 

I haven't either -- although I have limited experience with the rest of the world (only 3 other countries). And I, BTW, am American too. But I just don't get it.

 

Many women fall for jerks without understand BOTH jerks AND themselves enough. If they really understood what they truly wanted then they wouldn't go for any confident man that comes along to fill their void. They would be able to identify and spot the nice and confident guys.

 

Instead they go for whoever creates the chemisty and then months later, come of this board asking why their boyfriend has stopped calling?

 

It isn't just that they date the confident jerks either HK.

 

There is a lot that goes into the relationship dynamic and women can be needy, clingy, hypersensitive, and a whole mess of other things that as a guy gets to know them would cause a confident nice guy to pull back or just not pursue.

 

That is what I have a problem with. Boiling everything down to this or that.

It is complex. This issue is multifaceted. This is why I have a problem with generalizations in the first place.

[stillafool]

But we've been over this a million times, and the same conclusions are reached each and every time: There's a wide and burgeoning gulf between what many women say they want and what they actually do want.

 

QUOTE]

 

Oh Thaddeus! Women could say the same thing. Men say they don't want a gold digger; yet when a woman is independent and makes her plenty of her own cash they call her a cold hard career biotch. Men say they can't stand needy women; yet when women are not emotional they hate that also and will do things to incite emotion. Men say women don't want to have sex enough; yet when a woman has a high libido and really, really enjoys sex they call her a slut. Men say they wish women would stop pressuring them into matrimony; yet when they find a woman who is not interested in marriage or kids they think something is seriously wrong with her!? WTF! So, what is it with you guys, do you even have a clue what you want?

[Island Girl]

Oh Thaddeus! Women could say the same thing. Men say they don't want a gold digger; yet when a woman is independent and makes her plenty of her own cash they call her a cold hard career biotch. Men say they can't stand needy women; yet when women are not emotional they hate that also and will do things to incite emotion. Men say women don't want to have sex enough; yet when a woman has a high libido and really, really enjoys sex they call her a slut. Men say they wish women would stop pressuring them into matrimony; yet when they find a woman who is not interested in marriage or kids they think something is seriously wrong with her!? WTF! So, what is it with you guys, do you even have a clue what you want?

 

What is it that men and women don't get?

 

It is about all of those things that are said -- but in balance.

 

For instance a guy may want a woman who wants to get married -- but there is a difference between wanting that with the right person than just being driven to get married.

 

That is just one example. And it happens on both sides of the gender gap.

[stillafool]

Here's an alternative and - naturally - much more mysoginistic theory :

 

girls are not funny (and i mean literally - just look at the negligible number of female comedians), and not that exciting/adventurous, hence the need to find an outside source of fun and excitement. Of course an individual with deviant tendencies and motorcycle will provide more of that. Take to cool dive bars, grab her no-no parts in public etc., or any other subtler way of introducing drama and energy in the girl's life. All women have those needs to some extent, but in some through lack of self-awareness it evolves into stereotypical flakiness and stupidity .

(Guys, on the other hand, would rather have peace and calm, hence why th e"nice girls" are in much higher demand ). I have spokken .

 

 

Are you serious? Maybe you but most of the guys I know who are single want sex and excitement as much as women. Even old people want it.

[Sam Spade]

Are you serious? Maybe you but most of the guys I know who are single want sex and excitement as much as women. Even old people want it.

 

Nice girls have sex too, you know :rolleyes:, sans the drama and flakiness, however.

[samspade]

Haha, so many responses and so fast. Interesting topic hey?

 

It is an interesting topic though.

 

Because I kid you not, because I speak to all my single female friends about nice guys/ jerks etc, I have A LOT asking me to introduce nice guys to them.

 

But they are not friggin interested in nice, they are interested in CONFIDENT.

 

Please friggin stop lying to yourself and admit at least that fact, because if women were NATURALLY attracted to nice they wouldn't fall for jerks, but they're not, they want confident.

 

Why the hell doesn't a single female friend ask me to introduce confident guys to them huh?

 

Alcohol still in my blood, please don't flame me. I know it's 3pm EST, but it's 3am here in Hong Kong.

 

To be fair, some women are up front about what they want. Or are at least willing to distinguish between a confident guy and a nice guy.

 

Nevertheless, given the fact that some women write love letters to men like murderer Scott Peterson while he's on death row, it's wiser to err on the side of being a little bit bad than a little nice.

[looking4 green grass]

Not really sure how far a nice guy act would get you in a bar. Keyword in that sentence BAR. I can only speak for myself, but I'm not looking for the love of my life while I'm plastered. I'm looking for Mr. Too Hot For Words for some fun. Nice does not equal the kind of fun I'm looking for at a bar.

 

But when I am really "dating" and looking for more than something to ogle, I go for confidence. So, still no nice guy! However, that confident guy has to be nice in that he treats me right, is respectful, no cheating/stealing my credit/proposing to ex girlfriends/penis on the internet kind of crap.

 

I have found that nice guys who lack confidence don't know how to make a woman feel like a woman. They make me feel like a mother. Nice guys with confidence however, get to stick around. I know guys like this exist, I'm dating one.

[fatamus]

You all know the original poster is right he just went off on too many tangents. “Nice guys” lack a backbone of what makes a man though history. No nice guy ever conquered a country or led an invasion. Just don’t think that all “bad boys” lack feelings and emotions. Women consider me the bad boy type more and I do have confidence in myself in everything I do, I simply don’t fear the consequences and most find that attractive and exiting. I don’t have any self doubting thoughts, and I don’t put the pus*y on the pedestal, most new girls don’t mean anything to me I let them chase me. That aside, I have genuinely only cared for one (now 2 actually) girl(s) in my life and truly loved and even the badboy/player types can be sensitive and emotional it’s just harder for them to fall in love. Most girls will get tired of the needy, timid nice guy and go find another “badboy” sooner or later. I have more women interested in me because of who I am than most “nice guys” I know combined. That’s just reality folks.

[Hkizzle]

I have found that nice guys who lack confidence don't know how to make a woman feel like a woman.

 

Hmm, interesting point.

[Odyssey]

Is this just another jerk/nice guy thread? Feels like old territory - we've gone over this many times already, right?

[bhweller]

I have been through all of this and there are little bits of the truth scattered around this thread, but nobody is really putting it all together because they want to defend their egos. I mean that towards both men and women.

 

For all you PUA guys out there, I have been through that stuff too, and yes, it does work. I am a nerd, not in perfect shape, not rich, not very young anymore, but I can get laid if I really play the game.

 

As for the women who say girls want players and women want nice guys, that is a lie they are telling themselves because they don't want to face what they truly are, because it goes against social programming. All sexually mature heterosexual females subconsciously or consciously rank every person they meet on a status scale. I believe it is a natural born instinct and is part of human evolution left over from monkey days ( if monkey days are indeed over, lol)

Anyway, if the sexually mature hetero woman is psychologically healthy and basically happy, she will only really get interested in a guy if she perceives something about him that is high status, at least in her estimation. There is room for taste here, but some things are universally high status, such as confidence and guts. That is why bad boys and PUA's get laid. That is why the rich and famous guys can pick who they want even if they are ugly jerks.

 

The gay guys and the "friend zone" guys are essentially equivalent to our fictional "normal" woman. Yes, you read that right, if you are in the friend zone you might as well be gay or not even have genitals, because you are not really a man to her. You are a pal , and "real man" and "pal" do not mix in the female brain. In fact, even if she is attracted to you, if you consistently act like her pal, or her father, or brother, or money donor, or doormat, eventually she will not be able to have sexual attraction towards you anymore.

 

Now, heres the thing......none of this is actually wrong or evil, and men are really the same way.

 

I am not totally turned on sexually by a woman unless she makes me a little bit nervous, as she is never 100% "in the bag" and "keeps me on my toes". I like women who are sexual freaks and not very clingy, but then I get upset when they go for another guy sexually and don't give a sh*t about what that does to my self esteem. I don't like high powered career women at all, regardless of looks or personality, because to me they are too masculine and more like a competitor than a mate. I like to rescue damsels in distress, and they use me and leave me, and then I fall into self pity. I have real emotional needs and flaws that apparently a "real man" just isn't supposed to have. I am a bit of a strange dude, but I am not a martian and I think there are lots of guys who could relate to what I said.

 

in the end, there is no one to blame but ourselves, or perhaps the whole human race.

[Woggle]

Women know it is true. When I developed my don't give a fudge attitude towards women my dating life improved by bounds. Between marriages I had a maneating women who treated men like to toys ready to marry me and it seems that I had a different date every week. The only reason I stopped is because quite honestly being a player is exhausting.

 

The bad boys I know who treat women like toys have their pick of women they could marry tommorow while the nice guys are getting cheated on and discarded left and right. It seems that once you make a woman respect you attraction follows and that is what bad boys are good at. Not all women are like this as evidenced by marriage and other marriages but even in my case my wife knows that all the love and devotion I have for her would go up in smoke if she were to ever cheat on me or mistreat me. I treat a woman like a queen when she acts like one but when she acts like trash she gets thrown out like it.