Exit Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Hah, now that I'm finally starting to get over my ex, this issue is branching off into other areas of my life. If you missed the last part of my story, after 5 months of my ex giving me hope, leading me on, and then going completely silent, on a Saturday night I went and bought flowers and sat on her front steps to get an answer from her. Ended up with her new BF coming downstairs instead, I talked to him for a minute and accepted that she was already moving quickly with this guy if he was at her house in the middle of the night, since then I've been letting go and feeling better. But then a few days later my friend talks to me on AIM and asks "did you really do that on Saturday?". Long story short, she was really upset because I had spent a lot of time talking to her about the situation with my ex, asking for advice, and she always advised that I just get over it. So she was hurt that I didn't follow her advice. I defended myself, I said thank you for your advice and I did listen to it, but I had to handle this my own way, and you should just be happy to hear that I have closure now and am heading back to happiness. Much like my ex, she didn't even have the backbone to finish the conversation, she put up an away message and hasn't said anything since. It's been 2 days now since all that. I also told her that, as a friend, I would think she wouldn't participate in this gossip about me anyway. It's sad that my ex had to tell other people, even sadder that my "friends" are going along with it. I also asked her "when you hear my ex spreading stories, do you think to defend me at all?". Didn't get an answer to that one. Now today on Facebook I see that my friend is going to hang out with a guy who I know was likely part of the chain of people who spread this story around. I think my ex first told him and then he told my friend. Ironically, this guy hated my ex for a long time, she had dated his friend years ago and also dumped him like a sack of potatoes, and he hated my ex for what she did to his friend so they never spoke. Only recently have they started talking again, and I find it funny that someone in his position, who knows how she ends relationships and how rude she can be, can suddenly overlook all of that, take her side, and help spread stories about me. So the question here is what to do about my friend. We WERE hanging out a lot and she was a big part of me enjoying my life since the breakup and having fun. But at this point, I feel like I should be contacted first and get an apology. Maybe I'm a bad friend for not taking her advice, but I think that's overshadowed by the fact that she even listens as people talk s**t about me and doesn't stick up for me, or at least refuse to take part in the gossip. Or should I be the one to contact her and try to apologize if I upset her? Frankly I don't think giving someone advice gives you ownership over the situation, she had no reason to react that way. I can't imagine a situation where I would give someone advice and really give a damn whether they followed it or not, advice is advice. Also consider the fact that I was more than happy to talk to her on AIM about it, I spoke last with two long instant messages, and then she never responded. Should I stand my ground and let her contact me, or should I pursue my friend?
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