Going Back to NC

[wontgohomewou]

I was NC for two months this summer and life was getting great. I come back to college and meet my ex and I felt as if I was over her. As we started hanging out, I started developing feelings for her again. We started hooking up again, and she 'supposedly' starts developing feelings too. I tell her that we should give this one more try, she says no. I do the dumb thing and still hook up with her instead of having some pride.

 

But I'm tired of the way she acts in public vs. private. Actually, she acts different every single day. One day she is all over me, the next day she barely touches me. And I'm getting sick of her talking about other guys around me and especially seeing her dance with other guys while I'm there.

 

We had an argument today. There is this girl I am interested in and I told her how I'm feeling used by my ex. My ex read my text messages(without my permission) and now my ex is pissed at me. I don't really think I did anything wrong since I'm actually getting hurt by the way my ex treats me. Regardless, this is Day 1 of NC.

 

Day 1

I felt pretty sad all day. I think I slept the whole day when I should have been studying. I usually make myself feel better by sleeping. The argument happened around 5PM. I'm usually a VERY cool-tempered guy, but I left the room pissed for the first time EVER. I was supposed to go meet this girl after, but I felt too sad. I just went straight to my room(ex and I live on same floor) and went on my bed and tried cooling off. Eventually, I got pretty sad and started tearing, no crying, just tears. This girl pretty much knew something was wrong since I'm always in a good mood and never cancel plans, so she tried consoling me through texts. I eventually drifted to sleep around 7ish.

I woke up at 12AM and went to go study at the library at 1AM. I met a friend there and she introduced me to her friends. They were pretty cool and I had a blast hanging out with them. They left around 4 and I kept doing my work. My mind started drifting when they left, I started getting sad again thinking about my ex. I was texting the girl that got me in trouble in the first place and told her I needed to talk. She told me to come over whenever. I told her tomorrow, since I was going to be at the library really late. So anyway, I went home pretty sad, feeling down. I'm still doing work in my room, and wondering about how the ex is doing after only 12 hours of no talking.

I'm not going to give into my feelings this time though. I've been getting hurt by her so much lately that I don't really want much to do with her. I have a feeling she is going to come into my room some time next week and try to make things better. I don't plan on being nice to her at all and just telling her straight up to leave me the **** alone. It's going to be hard, but it really has to be done. I'll update you guys about Day 2 of NC some time tomorrow. haha I bet I wrote A LOT!

[gavinus]

Of course your ex is mad....you have your sights on somebody else....you are not "feeding her" anymore, stay NC, meet this other person and be happy...don't go back to your ex....stay strong, you are worth it!!