Limbo21 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Is it possible to move on & stay single? Is the very act of moving on being in another relationship? If so I'm screwed! Was single for 7 years before this one I'm an ugly mug with little going for me - she was a stunningly beautiful girl, sophisticated & intelligent. If I'm honest with myself (as others have said before - even strangers lol ... They all say "wow how did you manage that" or "punching way above your weight" So can I stay single & truly move on?
Author Limbo21 Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 The wrong question??? Lost me dude it's a valid question isn't it?
splintered thing Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Is it possible to move on & stay single? Is the very act of moving on being in another relationship? Sure, it's very possible. On the other hand, a lot of people rebound into another relationship as a way of not moving on...or at least repeating then same mistakes without learning from them. With or without embarking on a new relationship, you can move on (or not).
WSeeker Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 The wrong question??? Lost me dude it's a valid question isn't it? Because, the only way to get over someone is to remain single.
Taucher Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Because, the only way to get over someone is to remain single. True. Initially it is very important to stay single. But also, I would argue that to truely move on a relationship with someone you really care about is also important. Just don't rush into it. You get dumped, stay single for a long period of time and you heal. But you are still someone who's most recent relationship was a traumatic and sad experience. So, the first stage of recovery after being dumped is to learn to love yourself. The second stage is to learn to love someone else. The second stage is not as important as the first, but you cannot do the second stage without the first stage before. Limbo21, try not to worry. The thing that will stop you meeting someone else is by saying things like "I'm an ugly mug with little going for me". You've done it once, you will do it again. Be confident. And seriously, if you don't know of anyone that you are really mad about, then just enjoy being single. Being single only becomes a problem if you have unrequited love, I think. T
Leia Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Staying single is the best choices I've ever met! Not rushing into anything
Author Limbo21 Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 Thanks, that takes some pressure of me Broke down for the first time this AM, moods are up & down but mostly it's feelings of loss & regret that's making me miserable & no matter hard I try these thoughts pounce when I'm least prepared to deal with them I'll get there
Leia Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Thanks, that takes some pressure of me Broke down for the first time this AM, moods are up & down but mostly it's feelings of loss & regret that's making me miserable & no matter hard I try these thoughts pounce when I'm least prepared to deal with them I'll get there You'll get there, sooner than you think.
AliBlack Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 My partner left me in July after 18 years, moving on doesn't necessarily mean being with a new partner, to me it means you have made a new life for yourself in whatever way that might be and that you have come to terms with what has happened. And if the right person came along it means you would be ready to be with them as you wouldn't be looking for your ex in that new person. I haven't moved on yet, I can't even bear the thought of being with someone else, it seems repulsive to me. I guess the time it takes to move on depends on how long you have been with someone and how deeply you loved/love them, and how good the relationship was too before problems arose.
AliBlack Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I know SO well how the loss and regret feel, you're not alone there! Thanks, that takes some pressure of me Broke down for the first time this AM, moods are up & down but mostly it's feelings of loss & regret that's making me miserable & no matter hard I try these thoughts pounce when I'm least prepared to deal with them I'll get there
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