theumlaut Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I want to get feedback on the issue of having another of the appropriate sex for the situation (male/female, female/female, male/male) only wanting to be friends. My take on it is that it feels like rejection, i.e. seen as too inferior to be a romantic/sexual interest. Hence, throughout my life, I've ended up not forming platonic friendships with women I think are rejecting me on a basis of not finding me attractive. I've felt that they find me inferior, and why would I want to be friends with someone who finds me inferior In high school, I was the "friend" to girls, esp. those dating my friends, while secretly I had crushes on some of those. Soon after HS, I realized I didn't want to be that kind of guy, that I really wasn’t naturally that way (I’m fairly alpha-male) and that my behavior led me to be him. My brother was that kind of guy and example to me of loneliness and unhappiness. I maybe went overboard trying to not be that guy by avoiding platonic friendships with women. I have a current example, but I'll talk about that later. I recognize now how pathological and counter-productive my attitude's been to me in my life, but psychologically it's still present and overwhelming Anyone like this, or was like this or other thoughts?
RamiTia Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Well, I have personally rejected a guy just because I didn't feel "it." He was extremely attractive, nice, intelligent.... I just didn't have a spark with him. I didn't feel superior. But, yes, my best friend is a guy and when we first started hanging out, he told me he just wanted to be friends. And I know it's not because he isn't physically attracted to me or feels superior. However, I don't blame you for not wanting to keep these girls around. If you aren't looking to them for anything but a relationship, why become friends? That's not what you want from them. I DO understand that.
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