tinklebell Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 If there's little chemistry with a guy you're just starting to go out with, will that change? Or is that your body or sub-conscious mind telling you it's not a good fit?
Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 A women's subconscious and the feeling of chemistry is only good for determining strong, confident, fun, funny. Basically anything that is linked to good social skills, since a man with good social skills is more likely to do well in society. A woman's subconscious is terrible for detecting nice or jerk, hence why so many women fall for jerks. To pick nice you have to consciously do it. But you can't force it, there still has to be some chemistry there. The point is, you can force yourself to give a guy a chance, because he might turn out to be interesting but just nervous at the beginning. But if you give a guy 3-4 dates and he's still not creating chemistry then I think you shouldn't push it.
Author tinklebell Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 A women's subconscious and the feeling of chemistry is only good for determining strong, confident, fun, funny. Basically anything that is linked to good social skills, since a man with good social skills is more likely to do well in society. A woman's subconscious is terrible for detecting nice or jerk, hence why so many women fall for jerks. To pick nice you have to consciously do it. But you can't force it, there still has to be some chemistry there. The point is, you can force yourself to give a guy a chance, because he might turn out to be interesting but just nervous at the beginning. But if you give a guy 3-4 dates and he's still not creating chemistry then I think you shouldn't push it. But what if I was the one who was nervous? Not sure if it was picked up but I was a little nervous. Does chemistry mean a lot of laughs, constant chatting about everything under the sun?
Hkizzle Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 But what if I was the one who was nervous? Not sure if it was picked up but I was a little nervous. Does chemistry mean a lot of laughs, constant chatting about everything under the sun? Yeah I would say good chemistry involves that. Treat a date like going out with a friend, you got nothing to lose. Being nervous on the first date is common, being nervous after many dates isn't cool.
SoulSearch_CO Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 IMO, you can't garner EVERYTHING about a person from one little date, especially if it's grey area like you're talking about. Give it a second date and see how it goes. That's when the "chemistry" hit full-force for me with the guy I'm seeing.
aerogurl87 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 IMO, you can't garner EVERYTHING about a person from one little date, especially if it's grey area like you're talking about. Give it a second date and see how it goes. That's when the "chemistry" hit full-force for me with the guy I'm seeing. I agree with SoulSearch, chemistry isn't always apparent on the first date. On the first date I had with the guy I'm seeing I was a nervous wreck and so if there was any chemistry there I didn't see it. But on date number two, it hit me like a tsunami out of nowhere when he kissed me for the first time. And things have been going pretty great since then, so wait to see if there's any chemistry with date number two.
Sam Spade Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I'm happy with the "chemistry" with my GF. It wasn't there for a few months. Mostly because she was shy/reserved, but also because I wasn't sure if I even wanted anything long term with her. So not much chemistry for at least 3 months. But thanks to the skillful guidance of uncle sam combined with lots of overanalyzing, right now chemistry is no worse and probably better than in any run of the mill relationship, and I'm very happy. So, I'm of the school of thought that the whole concept of chemistry is hogwash. If two people like each other enough to go on a few dates and sleep together without holding their noses, then can create perfectly fine chemisty, thank you very much.
Author tinklebell Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 Soulsearch and aerogurl, but why would people ask people out on subsequent dates if there was little chemistry on the first date?
callingyouuu Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Soulsearch and aerogurl, but why would people ask people out on subsequent dates if there was little chemistry on the first date? Because they're not 15 years old. And they don't think that what they want out of a relationship with their partner will always appear clearly within the first few hours of meeting him or her, so they give it another chance.
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