Jamie789 Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Hi there. I dont know if ive posted this in the right bit so if i havent then i apologise. Im not really sure where to start to be honest, ive never gone onto forums and and put this stuff out there before but i felt it was about time i tried to get some advice on something. I'm 23 years old and i've never asked a woman out or anything. Im consistently told im a good looking guy and people seem surprised when they learn that im not attached but the thing is ive never had the confidence to approach a woman. Which obviously means ive never been with one or had sex. For a long time ive denied it being a problem and always said it didnt bother me, and for a long time i had other things on my mind which to me were more important, it took me three years to pass my driving test for a start LOL and ive just been more focused on earning money than finding girlfriends. But i've got to a point in my life now where the friends i once had have now got long term relationships, are living with girlfriends etc and i am being left behind, feeling like a third wheel somewhat and also feeling like my friends have a new life now which im not a part of and im asking myself where have i gone wrong. I still pretend on the outside that a lack of a girlfriend doesnt bother me, but the truth is i am curious as to what it'd be like but terrified also. I have this strange fear of women, and it seems the hotter they are the more im afraid. I cant speak to them, i jumble my words and go into a cold sweat if im around them, i start shaking and trembling and feeling very nervous. If i even see an attactive woman on the street i will cross to the other side to make sure i keep a distance from her and i have no idea why because its not like she's going to do anything to me is it? Ive never asked a girl out, never gone up to one in a bar and started talking or anything because i wouldnt know what to say. And before anyone asks im not from a sexually repressive background and nor did i get abused as a child so its none of that pop psychology crap. Does anybody have any ideas and advice?
bhweller Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Its ok to be afraid. Everytime one of them bit a chunk out of me it was because I lost my healthy fear (not irrational fear). Think of it like being one of those guys who milks venom out of rattlesnakes. but you probably have irrational fear. the real danger from women is not up front, its after you have dated them perhaps 5 times and you start to wonder what the emotions involved are going to be. But you just want to get a date I think. Go rent the movie "swingers" because everything in it is true, its a cult classic. That will give you the right attitude. Dating for young people is like going to the mall or swimming, don't take it too seriously.
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