movingforward Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I just went NC with my AP. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I could really use some success stories about how going NC is the right thing... anyone?
Author movingforward Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 I know most people probably feel like this, but I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. I KNOW NC is the right way to go for EVERYONE involved, I'm just having a hard time thinking I'll never talk to him again. Any advice/insight would be appreciated... I don't want to cave.
Holding-On Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Moving I was just browsing and running out the door. I didn't want to leave you hanging with no success stories yet. They are out there. You might also want to drive yourself over to gloryb and check out the Endings Forum. Lots of NC success stories on there while you pace the floor. Many hugs to you, I am sure this is a very tough time.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 NC is neccessary to rebuild your marriage, especially with your husband by your side. It needed to be done. Why are you so in a daze right now. Your recommitting to your marriage than NC should be no question. Do not dwell on the OM or his family anymore and detach yourself from the situation. Refocus all your energies where it's needed.
Author movingforward Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 Thank you, Holding On.... thank you for reaching out. I will check out that website tonight. The last thing I want to do is go back on what I've done. Chrome: the reason it's so hard is probably addiction. I'm addicted to the contact and to him. But you are right... it is time for me to focus on my family and my marriage which is exactly why I sent the email today. I KNOW in my heart it was the right decision... I KNOW I can't have a healthy marriage with him still in my life.... I KNOW I need to suck it up and feel the pain of what I have gotten myself into. It's just a lot more painful than I had expected. This site has been a big help already. I was hoping to hear from others that not only going NC is the right thing, but that it gets easier.
Devil Inside Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 MF...I am so proud of you! You did it. It was the right thing to do...you know that...and in case yo uneed me to validate that...it was. It will get easier. It will not feel so hard. You will stop crying. You will stop feeling like a lovesick zombie. I know...I felt like crap...and now I don't. You are going through withdrawal...take it one minute at a time if you have to. Post here instaed of checking your email or IM or phone. Stay busy. Go play with your kids. Go exercise. Go hang with your hubby. Knit..watch tv..birdwatch...clean house....do anything to stay busy...you will have a tendency to want to wallow and obsess...feel it for a little and then move on. You took a big step...good for you...I know how much strength it took.
Author movingforward Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 Thank you, DI.... I had a complete meltdown when the A ended five months ago... this, thankfully isn't as hard. The feelings he gave me in the beginning have been gone for a long time. I suppose you could say that I'm in mourning now for the "possibility of him". Which really was just the fantasy of him. Because, as established, the reality of him would have been hell. I suppose I should get myself over to the marriage boards and read up on how to work on my marriage now that my AP is truly gone.
LadyDi Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 If you find the answers, I'll be reading them. I hate the pain/withdrawal, and it's only day #2.....
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