I hate it when people say "Your bad attitude is the reason why you can't get women"

[Sam Spade]

Amended for better representation of feminity.

 

I thought it was generally assumed by everyone who believe in strict gender differences that men were the visual gender?

 

I was thinking about the Matt Damon -Jason Alexander (George Costanza) example yesterday. You know, truth be told, while physical attraction is important to me, at the end of the night, I'm going to be more interested in the guy that makes me laugh and makes me feel comfortable. That is what makes a man attractive in my book.

 

In fact, of Matt and Jason, right off the bat, I would be more interested in going out on a date with Jason Alexander because I like Jason's personality. He's funny and he seems easy-going (unlike his character George.) Matt Damon? I don't know, sure he looks good but I don't relate to him in any way.

 

 

Now that's an unfair comparison (Unfair to matt Damon, that is. The dude is a vegetable, a doorknob, a week old oatmeal, six pack six shmack notwithstanding. Georgie Costanza on the other hand is depressed, inadequate, incompetent - he's got it all, baby! I want to be like him, but I'm only a sad impostor

In any case, best character on TV ever, no doubt. (2nd place goes to Walt from "Breaking bad")

[IrishCarBomb]

I read this thread and can't help but laugh.

 

Cheers.

[MissJoness]

I hate it when people say your bad attitude is the reason why you can't find anybody, especially when I've seen plenty of nasty, horrible people in marriages and in relationshisp with others.

[carhill]

One of the participants of this thread mentions he's an average guy who isn't happy about the looks of average women he can pull in his environment. In another environment, he can pull above average women.

 

I can't decide if this is a self-entitled attitude or something, some of you men can learn from. It has elements of both. Anyone care to take a run at it?

 

Sure.... having dated FSU women and having had intimate relations with one, I can say they view men a bit differently than I'm used to here in the States. I'm talking about real women, not the 'mail order brides' seen so much on the internet. The poster you mentioned is FSU/EEu, so he's not seen as some western sugar daddy and his experiences appear to reflect my own. I also found the men I met to be a lot more open and expressive, once they trusted me. The women, for lack of a better phrase, made me feel like a man, which was a new experience at that time, compared to dating American women. One datapoint.

[donnamaybe]

I'm sure any of the LS'rs that have had that said to them are positive gems. It's everyone ELSE they come in contact with that is the problem.

 

Bump, because this has to be said again. If one person finds they have problems with a LOT of people, who is the constant in all the situations?

[carhill]

I hate it when people say your bad attitude is the reason why you can't find anybody, especially when I've seen plenty of nasty, horrible people in marriages and in relationshisp with others.

They generally don't start out that way. Both men and women put on their mating face, which isn't always representative of their true perspective, when attracting a mate. It's only over time that the true person is revealed. Also, and this is important IMO, if the person remains the same, personality-wise, one needs to have the psychology which finds that compatibility attractive, rather than boring.

 

IME, I've found, the more damaged a person is, the more distinct the mating face is from their true self. When the switch occurs, watch out....

[Trialbyfire]

Sure.... having dated FSU women and having had intimate relations with one, I can say they view men a bit differently than I'm used to here in the States. I'm talking about real women, not the 'mail order brides' seen so much on the internet. The poster you mentioned is FSU/EEu, so he's not seen as some western sugar daddy and his experiences appear to reflect my own. I also found the men I met to be a lot more open and expressive, once they trusted me. The women, for lack of a better phrase, made me feel like a man, which was a new experience at that time, compared to dating American women. One datapoint.

You can look at it that way or you can look at it from another perspective. I'm guessing his confidence and comfort levels are way up within his home environment, hence why he's capable of pulling better looking birds.

 

The flip side to this is, that if he's not satisfied with average to average, is that a realistic attitude, considering his confidence level isn't there to handle rejection?

[Kamille]

Now that's an unfair comparison (Unfair to matt Damon, that is. The dude is a vegetable, a doorknob, a week old oatmeal, six pack six shmack notwithstanding. Georgie Costanza on the other hand is depressed, inadequate, incompetent - he's got it all, baby! I want to be like him, but I'm only a sad impostor

In any case, best character on TV ever, no doubt. (2nd place goes to Walt from "Breaking bad")

 

Uh no! You midunderstood me. I would date Jason Alexander, not Georgie who, let's face it, doesn't have the smoothness that Jason does. George is a great character, but I wouldn't last very long dating a man like him. His attitude is too... self-interested and negative !

 

Jason, however, is the ideal example of someone with average looks who's positive attitude shines through to make him intriguing, attractive and interesting. He's fun, you know? And like Carhill pointed out, I would gamble on a positive attitude before looks because, in my experience, it's the best requirement for a long-lasting relationship.

 

Wow, this thread is making me crush on Jason Alexander.

[carhill]

The flip side to this is, that if he's not satisfied with average to average, is that a realistic attitude, considering his confidence level isn't there to handle rejection?

 

Unclear, and hopefully he can answer for himself, but I can say, having been rejected by a couple of ladies prior, and experiencing one gold-digger rejection during my first trip, I found the 'average' ladies I met purely by happenstance to be confidence inspiring. For some reason, the rejections, something that had historically pained me greatly, didn't seem as painful anymore. I believe this was due to my seeing a completely different side of the female gender; in reality, one more in line with my historical views of women. Strong, accepting, loving, attentive. This from women whose men were stereotypically vodka abusers and womanizers. Anyway, IMO, the experiences helped my positive attitude and likely, later, helped me to weather issues with my wife in a healthier way.

 

Wow, this thread is making me crush on Jason Alexander.

 

Back in the days of Seinfeld, I was often compared as Jason's taller twin brother. Our MPB (baldness) was similar, as are our facial features and body shape. He's far funnier though. What a talent.

[loveslife]

Successful businessman Allen Neuharth said: “I quit being afraid when my first venture failed and the sky didn’t fall down."

 

Dating is just like any project or business venture. Sometimes you fail. I was crushed when my first business failed. But I had two choices - either wallow in the misery and curse the world for being unfair and not handing me success... or i could learn from my mistakes and try to do better the next time.

 

Ask yourself this, when a relationship or attempted relationship fails, how do you respond? Do you curse the unfair elements of the world that are conspiring against you or do you let yourself be upset but then pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again?

 

It's not about the times you fall, it's about the times you pick yourself up and start all over again.

 

If you can't talk yourself into doing that then you will fail. It's as simple as that really.

[Trialbyfire]

Unclear, and hopefully he can answer for himself, but I can say, having been rejected by a couple of ladies prior, and experiencing one gold-digger rejection during my first trip, I found the 'average' ladies I met purely by happenstance to be confidence inspiring. For some reason, the rejections, something that had historically pained me greatly, didn't seem as painful anymore. I believe this was due to my seeing a completely different side of the female gender; in reality, one more in line with my historical views of women. Strong, accepting, loving, attentive. This from women whose men were stereotypically vodka abusers and womanizers. Anyway, IMO, the experiences helped my positive attitude and likely, later, helped me to weather issues with my wife in a healthier way.

carhill, is this with reference to women in general or just women from certain geographical locations?

[carhill]

The poster you were originally referring to is from Eastern Europe/FSU. My comments were pertinent to my experiences in that part of the world.

[Trialbyfire]

Okay, so as far as you're concerned, only a subset of geographies, have women who inspire confidence in men. Is that correct, carhill?

[carhill]

If you want to make science of it, do a survey. I'm relating my personal experiences as one datapoint

[Trialbyfire]

If you want to make science of it, do a survey. I'm relating my personal experiences as one datapoint

Nope, not that interested. Just asking for clarification about data points you've stated, in relation to the opening post.

[carhill]

I told you my experiences. Clarify them for yourself. I'm starting to smell an agenda.

[Kamille]

 

 

Back in the days of Seinfeld, I was often compared as Jason's taller twin brother. Our MPB (baldness) was similar, as are our facial features and body shape. He's far funnier though. What a talent.

 

Far funnier? I wouldn't say so: you've cracked me up in the past.

 

But a taller Jason Alexander who is also incredibly self-reflective??? And soon to be single??? hmmm... Carhill, you better watch out or I will start crushing on you! (As long as you're easy-going of course!)

 

And just to make sure it is clear I am on-topic: my point being that in my book, personnality goes a long way.