rainbowsandkittens Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 so i'm day 3 of nc. he defriended me on facebook. i had a page for something else which he was a part of and so i removed him from it. he emailed a friend yesterday and told her how he loved me but this was for the best bc trying to stay in each other's lives would only have hurt me and this way maybe we still have a shot of getting back together, etc etc. all the things he told me when we broke up. anyway this morning i see that he joined the page again. and then he emails me friend this afternoon to tell her to tell me something. he has been working on something with me and he gave her an update on it and told her to tell me that he still checks it every day, etc. he said he wanted to contact me himself but he thought me getting an email from him is a bad idea. so wth? i had a big fight with my friend about it. i think it's a cheat for him to try and go through her and if he wants to contact me he should. honestly i don't think there's anything to say but at least be an adult about it. i think he's trying to keep me in his life on his terms, just the way he was before. she thinks he is just being nice and trying to respect the nc thing. one of my friends suggested emailing him and saying how i feel and telling him not to respond. but how do you not hope against hope that they write you back? i think i might email my friend and apologize but at the same time tell her that he needs to talk to me if he wants to- not go through her. has this happened to you? how did you handle it? on one hand of course it makes me happy that he misses me and wants to talk to me but on the other hand i feel a little pissed that he said emailing me will upset me, as if this only affects me and not him. kwim?
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 no repsonse? am i doing something wrong?
JL911 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I defriended my ex and blocked her....Was not easy to do, but probaly for the best. She crushed me, destroyed my self confidence, and left me in a sea of doubt and disbelief....It is just best if I just pretend she doesnt exhist and move my life forward without constantly checking her facebook or myspace page...
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 i should block him. i know i should. just this morning he commented on my friend's status and i did too and he sort of responded to me. though i will say he has updated his status all week. not sure what that's about. ok, clearly i need to block him. lol.
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 and thank you for responding.
Taucher Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Definitely delete from FB and block is the best way to go. My ex had me as her boyfriend on Facebook for a month after she left me. When she changed her status to single, I knew that this could not go on. I deleted her and everyone I know through her from my friends list. Weirdly, this made her angry, she accused me of not caring about her and moving on really easily - but she left me. I could not look at pictures of her on FB being put up by her friends etc. It's better that I do not see that stuff. Your ex sounds confused though. I can understand him defriending you. Try to ignore Facebook and lie low for a while.
JL911 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 The night my ex broke up with me I came home deleted my myspace account, I have since made a new one...Deleted every picture of me and her....changed my status....and blocked her.... Stinks...But is necessary...Press On...
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 he is confused. i posted a few times about our relationship in other friends. i can link them if you're curious (or want to give me advice. hee hee). he's just about finished with his divorce (should be another week or so until it's finalized). he loves me and i love him but he wants to see other people. he feels that he just can't be in a committed relationship right now. i tried to make it work, we thought a break would help. but really a break is just a stop on the way to "totally done town." anyway he defriended me bc i told him we needed to do it. he has a second page that i need to defriend too. i know he's never really on it so i sort of ignored it but i should. it's just so hard to get rid of him altogther because i still want him in my life so badly and because it's not like anything was really wrong per se. but if i'm honest there were things wrong and that's one of the reasons i need a break. even if we got back together he needs to learn to appreciate me, kwim?
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 and seriously thank you both so much
GrayClouds Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 You are trying to hold on to hope, reading into his ever actions for clues about the future of you and him. It will keep you on a roller coaster of ups and downs, keeping you from getting over the break-up. If he is coming back he will do so knocking on your door, crying for your love. Be kind to yourself, do everything you can to eliminate contact between you and him. No Contact mean no contact, that includes facebook, myspace, txt, email and messages through friends. .
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 25, 2009 Author Posted September 25, 2009 you're right. my best friend keeps telling me we're meant to be and to not cut him off completely etc etc and so i think i've been holding on even a little. i need to be stronger. i thought i was doing well but i could be doing better. thanks.
GrayClouds Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 you're right. my best friend keeps telling me we're meant to be and to not cut him off completely etc etc and so i think i've been holding on even a little. i need to be stronger. i thought i was doing well but i could be doing better. thanks. Tell your friend you need her support on focus on helaing yourself. That you and your EX amy or may not ment to be but right now you want to becomes a better you by learning new hobbies, working out, and finding out how to be happy on your own. That you would love your friends help with this and she can start by helping your with No Contact. This is what you need from her becouse she is not helping right now. Read this and have her read it to help you; So you want a second chance?
Author rainbowsandkittens Posted September 26, 2009 Author Posted September 26, 2009 yeah i've read that over and over. and "it's called a breakup cause it's broken" i think i need the weekend to wallow a little bit and clear my life up like my closets and apt in general and then i'm going to start the other stuff. i already went on meetup.com and joined some groups (hobbies) and am thinking about a workout plan. thanks
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