relationship and dogs

[gigi421]

Thanks for all the responses. Here’s a bit more info:

 

Both dogs are male, and my dog (lab/terrier, possibly schnauzer, mix) isn’t exactly friendly with other dogs—and by that I mean he just wants to be left alone. I bring him to friend’s house who has a dog that wants to play constantly and my dog tries to get away when he's ahd enough, though he’s never aggressive. He’ll sit by me so the dog leaves him alone.

 

Our dogs have met, once. We thought it would be a good idea to do it on neutral ground, outside a coffee shop. Bf’s dog ended up biting my dog in the face. It was a small scratch above his nose, not a bite really. He wasn’t able to actually attack mine, as he has two choke collars and was being held back, but he would have. I was (and am) more traumatized than my dog by this incident. I feel terrible that I put my dog in that situation. At that time, I didn’t realize how aggressive his dog was.

 

BF says he’ll crate his so I can bring mine over, but this makes me uncomfortable. I will never put my dog in a situation where he might be hurt again. And I can’t imagine how my dog would feel being in the same house as the dog who tried to attack him. I imagine he’ll be very uneasy.

 

Recently, his dog got out (pushed through a screen door) and attacked a female dog, so we think he doesn’t discriminate between sexes. BF considered putting him down after this, but reconsidered. The dog he attacked was OK after a large vet bill. He knows his dog is a liability, and is a huge source of stress for him.

 

BF’s dog hasn’t had professional training, but should. He thinks his dog is not trainable. Often, when his dog encounters another dog, there is no distracting him. It’s like a something switches in him and goes into kill mode. He’s been known to turn red and foam at the mouth. When this happens he doesn’t even hear my bf trying to discipline him. It’s scary. I’ve never seen a dog like this. Thorton suggested we walk them together. This is NOT a possibility. I wouldn’t take a walk with a serial killer, which is what it would be like for my dog.

 

His dog is dangerous, though he’s a baby around people (even children). I trust his dog around children, whereas I don’t necessarily trust mine simply because mine isn't used to them. When it comes to humans, bf’s dog is completely submissive and just wants to please. I feel incredibly sorry for his dog. His dog is the way he is because humans did terrible things to him, yet he loves people.

 

It just makes me upset that we could never live in the same house and could never get married (unless we lived separately!) Guess I don’t really have a question now. It’s just disappointing that a relationship might end or not progress because of dogs. We’ve joked about calling the Dog Whisper, which may not be a bad idea!

 

To BoogieBoy (and others)—I think it’s common to love pets more than our mates. And maybe not necessarily more, but differently. While they’re not children, they’re like children; we have a responsibility to them. I assume everyone would have a problem if someone was considering giving up their children for a partner. Why is it not the same with dogs?

 

Interesting tidbits: My mom says hands down her dog comes before her long time bf, and if she had to choose it would be the dog. A friend of mine went out of state for a week and commented how much more she missed her cat than her fiancé. I asked, before writing this, who she loves more, and she said the cat—that it wasn’t even close. My best friend once broke up with a guy who made her dog get off the bed without asking her if he could do this first. Guess I know a bunch of crazy pet people!

[Island Girl]

The only times I think it would be okay to find it another home or put it to sleep are if

 

1) you have a child, and the child has severe, medically documented allergies or the like,

 

2) the dog is so ill that it's suffering, or

 

3) the dog begins aggressive behavior to the point that you're worried it will harm a person.

 

Otherwise, any other reason for "getting rid of" a dog is inexcusable.

 

 

1) you have a child, and the child has severe, medically documented allergies or the like, -----

 

Then the answer would be to place the dog. NEVER to put it to sleep.

 

 

2) the dog is so ill that it's suffering, or

 

This is the ONLY reason an animal should be put down.

 

 

3) the dog begins aggressive behavior to the point that you're worried it will harm a person.

 

Again -- the animal should be placed. BUT HOPEFULLY the person who owned the dog would understand THEY are the problem NOT THE DOG.

 

People often get dogs not understanding what they are getting. They do not understand that it takes effort and time to create the companion they WANT.

They simply expect they'll get this dog and it will just grow up and be perfect without instruction, exercise, or addressing behavior.

 

Ignorance is no excuse.

[laRubiaBonita]

gigi- what about muzzling both you dogs and going for a walk- try it separatly then maybe try each of you one one side of the street- maybe even switch up dogs...... just to see.

[Island Girl]

Both dogs are male, and my dog (lab/terrier, possibly schnauzer, mix) isn’t exactly friendly with other dogs—and by that I mean he just wants to be left alone. I bring him to friend’s house who has a dog that wants to play constantly and my dog tries to get away when he's ahd enough, though he’s never aggressive. He’ll sit by me so the dog leaves him alone.

 

Both dogs need training and work.

 

It may seem as if your dog doesn't have a problem but your friends dog sounds like it has no "play limits" and your dog is not a balanced dog who can correct behavior so lacking in some social skills and possibly babied(?).

Please don't get defensive about this. It is not meant as a personal attack in any way.

Often people see the outburst from one dog and think that dog is the only one with the problem not understanding their is posturing and body language from the other dog that incites it as well.

 

Your dog not being friendly with other dogs is a huge clue. He is not comfortable in his own skin. He does not trust you as his leader.

How often do you walk him? And do you make sure you manage the walk? What about anything else in your household?

Feeding, furniture, etc. Is it all access all the time?

 

Our dogs have met, once. We thought it would be a good idea to do it on neutral ground, outside a coffee shop. Bf’s dog ended up biting my dog in the face. It was a small scratch above his nose, not a bite really. He wasn’t able to actually attack mine, as he has two choke collars and was being held back, but he would have. I was (and am) more traumatized than my dog by this incident. I feel terrible that I put my dog in that situation. At that time, I didn’t realize how aggressive his dog was.

 

Neutral is a good idea. But what would have been better is both of you walking the dogs with each other - letting them "meet" by one walking in front of the other at times so they could smell each other. A long walk together can give them a point of balance and create the idea that all of you are a unit - all of you are a pack.

 

And this walk would have been best accomplished with both dogs starting out already tired.

 

Your dog is a terrier mix. Mentally how much stimulation does he get? How much exercise?

Both dogs should be getting DAILY walks - especially yours (it takes more to tire yours out, right?).

 

BF says he’ll crate his so I can bring mine over, but this makes me uncomfortable. I will never put my dog in a situation where he might be hurt again. And I can’t imagine how my dog would feel being in the same house as the dog who tried to attack him. I imagine he’ll be very uneasy.

 

Not if you do the work. Both of you have to put in effort. There are contributing problems on BOTH sides.

 

The crate isn't a bad idea. But I really hope you address the underlying problems first. And put effort in to fix it on both sides.

 

What you see in that action -- the aggression from his dog - the retreating and non socialization from your dog -- those are SYMPTOMS.

In order to eradicate it you have to treat the problem not the symptoms.

 

Recently, his dog got out (pushed through a screen door) and attacked a female dog, so we think he doesn’t discriminate between sexes. BF considered putting him down after this, but reconsidered. The dog he attacked was OK after a large vet bill. He knows his dog is a liability, and is a huge source of stress for him.

 

His dog couldn't tell it was female from inside the house. There is no discrimination because he doesn't get close enough to find out. He is already vigilant that he must be in a kill or be killed state of mind all the time.

 

Your boyfriend should have been -- and should be NOW -- working with his dog. He should be putting the time into training and WALKING the dog every single day.

When I say walking the dog - I mean an appropriate walk. The dog next to him and not pulling, etc. Managed and controlled. ALWAYS.

(Exactly the kind of walk you should be doing with your dog as well.)

 

 

BF’s dog hasn’t had professional training, but should. He thinks his dog is not trainable.

 

This is extremely ignorant. ALL dogs are trainable. It sounds like he uses this as an excuse not to have to DO anything. Sad for the dog. And terrible for your boyfriend considering he has the liability -- and that he would entertain the idea of putting the dog down simply because he would rather be lazy. *Sorry. But there is no excuse for not putting the rehab efforts in when he took this dog on voluntarily.

 

Often, when his dog encounters another dog, there is no distracting him. It’s like a something switches in him and goes into kill mode. He’s been known to turn red and foam at the mouth. When this happens he doesn’t even hear my bf trying to discipline him. It’s scary. I’ve never seen a dog like this.

 

Your boyfriend is not his leader. Your boyfriend is not respected NOR has he put the effort in to be in that position.

It doesn't just "happen".

When he brought the dog home I bet he didn't walk him first before even going in the house. I bet he doesn't manage the dog in all ways within those walls either. A sit stay and then permission to eat. Only allowed on the furniture if he is invited to be. Lots and lots of structure.

And WALKS EVERY DAY. Managed walks.

 

His dog believes he will have to fight for his life when he sees a dog. If YOU had to fight for your life every time you saw another person what do you think you'd look like when you saw another person?

 

Again, I do not mean this as a personal attack at all - simply informational - but you are not trying to understand the behavior. When we learn about something it alleviates fear. You are fearful and that won't help you, your dog, his dog, him, etc.

Knowledge Is Power.

 

Thorton suggested we walk them together. This is NOT a possibility. I wouldn’t take a walk with a serial killer, which is what it would be like for my dog.

 

The dog is NOT a serial killer.

 

And it is not what it would be like for your dog. BOTH of your dogs need work and training.

Both of you need to be pack leaders. Both of you need to invest in your dogs so they become more balanced and A LOT Happier.

 

Your boyfriend has some rehab work to do and that will take a bit more effort in the beginning - TRUE. But it IS his responsibility to make sure this happens. Either he puts time and effort into this dog or he needs to find the organization that will. They are out there.

 

His dog is dangerous, though he’s a baby around people (even children). I trust his dog around children, whereas I don’t necessarily trust mine simply because mine isn't used to them. When it comes to humans, bf’s dog is completely submissive and just wants to please. I feel incredibly sorry for his dog. His dog is the way he is because humans did terrible things to him, yet he loves people.

 

So he deserves the time effort needed. He absolutely deserves it.

 

This is an issue that CAN be addressed and SHOULD be addressed.

I would think you would be the first person to stand up and tell your boyfriend he needs to DO THE WORK that is necessary to rehabilitate this dog.

It IS possible.

 

It just makes me upset that we could never live in the same house and could never get married (unless we lived separately!) Guess I don’t really have a question now. It’s just disappointing that a relationship might end or not progress because of dogs. We’ve joked about calling the Dog Whisper, which may not be a bad idea!

 

Yes you could live in the same house. And yes you could get married.

 

Again -- it takes some WORK (time and effort) and the problems would be resolved.

 

I am sincerely hoping this is getting through. There are dogs who have had these same issues that have been given not only the chance but the time and effort needed for rehab that YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW HAD A PROBLEM LIKE THIS if you saw them today.

But those owners loved those dogs enough to give the dog what the dog needed.

So the question is does your boyfriend? Do you?

 

And yes, calling the Dog Whisperer - Caesar Milan - would NOT be a bad idea.

Calling trainers and finding one that has worked through issues such as these would not be a bad idea -- if Caesar can't help I hope you do get hold of somebody. There are people like myself who do this type of rehab work and will help you.

 

To BoogieBoy (and others)—I think it’s common to love pets more than our mates. And maybe not necessarily more, but differently. While they’re not children, they’re like children; we have a responsibility to them. I assume everyone would have a problem if someone was considering giving up their children for a partner. Why is it not the same with dogs?

 

I applaud you for this.

 

They are not disposable in any way. If they've been dealt a bad hand initially they can take some correction, explanation, and reinforcement of behavior and expectations but I assure you it is well worth the effort.

Possible - Absolutely.

 

But just like raising a child - you have to parent. It takes effort to instruct proper behavior etc.

It is the same with dogs. Instruction and CONSISTENCY.

 

Interesting tidbits: My mom says hands down her dog comes before her long time bf, and if she had to choose it would be the dog. A friend of mine went out of state for a week and commented how much more she missed her cat than her fiancé. I asked, before writing this, who she loves more, and she said the cat—that it wasn’t even close. My best friend once broke up with a guy who made her dog get off the bed without asking her if he could do this first. Guess I know a bunch of crazy pet people!

 

I would never give my dogs up. My husband is well aware of this and knew they come as part of the package with me.

 

BUT I also have put in the time and effort so they are comfortable to live with. They mind. They have rules and they know it. They are controlled and don't have annoying or dangerous behaviors such as barking and barking, pushing through doors, running away, not being able to be around other dogs or people, etc.

 

I think your heart is in the right place. I really really do. I just think there is so much more information out there - and work that both of you could be doing that isn't getting done - the information not sought out.

Posting here is a start - but I hope that is what it is - simply a start.

 

Caesar has a few books out - audio tapes - the TV series showing how he addresses exactly these types of issues are available too

http://www.cesarmillaninc.com/

[Island Girl]

The Dog Whisperer is looking for people to be on the show right now.

 

Details: http://www.cesarmillaninc.com/dogwhisperer/submissions.php

 

Maybe you are in CA and can get on!!

 

BTW if you do an audition tape make SURE to mention the Pit is a rescue from dog fighting -- and that he is a gushy love dog with people.

 

Caesar adores Pits and Rotts -- specializes in Aggressive Dog Rehab -- and loves to help with rescues from the dog fighting world because they are SO misunderstood and given such a bad rap.

[stace79]

After hearing what Gigi wrote about both dogs, I feel a little differently. The pit bull should get immediate, serious training. If that doesn't work, then I'm not sure there is much hope for him. Some dogs coming from former fighting backgrounds just cannot be socialized back into normal, pet life. It is sad, and I'm glad that your bf is trying, but you may need to look at other options. How do you know the dog wouldn't react that way to a small child some day? Then not only would you be liable for medical bills, you might also be criminally liable, too, especially if it were to kill someone.

 

Your dog should also be properly socialized through training, though.

[Island Girl]

Some dogs coming from former fighting backgrounds just cannot be socialized back into normal, pet life.

 

This is absolutely incorrect.

It is this attitude that is a major problem.

Why the continual misunderstanding? Even when someone who know and does this regularly says it IS possible - that reality and experience falls on deaf ears. I don't get the unwillingness to accept the fact that what is said above simply is not true.

 

All dogs can be retrained and socialized no matter what the behavior problem is.

 

Some take more work than others. But they can ALL be transitioned into a normal pet life.

[stace79]

This is absolutely incorrect.

It is this attitude that is a major problem.

Why the continual misunderstanding? Even when someone who know and does this regularly says it IS possible - that reality and experience falls on deaf ears. I don't get the unwillingness to accept the fact that what is said above simply is not true.

 

All dogs can be retrained and socialized no matter what the behavior problem is.

 

Some take more work than others. But they can ALL be transitioned into a normal pet life.

 

I disagree with you. Unfortunately when people treat these animals so badly, it is possible that they become so aggressive you shouldn't trust them around small animals or children.

 

I totally believe it is the owner's responsiblity to raise them well and train them from early on, and that pit bulls are not a "dangerous" breed any more than poodles or pekingese. But if you miss those early stages it is possible for an animal to be aggressive beyond hope. I believe the same can be said about some humans, too, but unfortunately we don't allow euthanasia for people!

[carhill]

OP, you mentioned his dog was a bait dog... here's the wiki on that:

 

Bait or baiting is the act of worrying or tormenting a chained or confined animal by setting dogs upon it for sport. The dogs bite, and tear to subdue the opposing animal by incapacitating or killing it. Baiting is a blood sport used for entertainment and gambling. It is illegal in most countries with varying levels of enforcement.

 

Would you say that accurately reflects his dog's history?

[Trialbyfire]

This is absolutely incorrect.

It is this attitude that is a major problem.

Why the continual misunderstanding? Even when someone who know and does this regularly says it IS possible - that reality and experience falls on deaf ears. I don't get the unwillingness to accept the fact that what is said above simply is not true.

 

All dogs can be retrained and socialized no matter what the behavior problem is.

 

Some take more work than others. But they can ALL be transitioned into a normal pet life.

While this example isn't as extreme as the pitbull in question, some friends of mine found an adult lab, tied to a tree for over 24 hours, so it was definitely abandoned. This dog was anti-social and aggressive. They finally got the dog to trust them enough so they could retrain it. He loved to tear up their house, aggressive on both furniture and people. They didn't dare try to socialize this animal with other dogs, yet.

 

After consistent retraining, where he was rewarded for good behaviour, with very strong and consistent boundaries of what was considered acceptable behaviour, they turned this dog around into an amazing, loving animal, aggression and biting reflexes gone.

 

So, yes, it's possible to retrain an adult dog. I'm not as optimistic as IG that they all can be retrained but the vast majority, yes.

 

So, OP, if your b/f is willing to put time, love, patience and consistency, into this dog, maybe he will become socialized.

[Island Girl]

But if you miss those early stages it is possible for an animal to be aggressive beyond hope.

 

This is incorrect. It has been proven to be incorrect.

 

If you do not have experience otherwise then perhaps you could search out someone in your area who addresses this very issue and rehabs these dogs like I do.

Or watch Caesar Milan on a regular basis. He is phenomenal.

 

When I state unequivocally that these dogs CAN be helped, and in the end trusted, I am speaking from personal experience and the experience of others who do the same type of work with these animals.

 

It is very sad that one can form an opinion and in the face of evidence to the contrary hold steadfast especially when that opinion (based on misinformation) leads to these animals losing their lives instead of being given every chance at a successful life.

 

I hope you will not be one who simply shuts off and does not become more educated about this because it is simply a case of not having all of the facts.

[stace79]

This is incorrect. It has been proven to be incorrect.

 

If you do not have experience otherwise then perhaps you could search out someone in your area who addresses this very issue and rehabs these dogs like I do.

Or watch Caesar Milan on a regular basis. He is phenomenal.

 

When I state unequivocally that these dogs CAN be helped, and in the end trusted, I am speaking from personal experience and the experience of others who do the same type of work with these animals.

 

It is very sad that one can form an opinion and in the face of evidence to the contrary hold steadfast especially when that opinion (based on misinformation) leads to these animals losing their lives instead of being given every chance at a successful life.

 

I hope you will not be one who simply shuts off and does not become more educated about this because it is simply a case of not having all of the facts.

 

Another person who IS a dog trainer (from what I understand anyway) just stated that not every dog can be retrained; only some can.

 

Despite how much I may love a dog and want to help it, I think there are some cases in which the risks just do not outweigh the rewards. If you believe you have retrained a dog who was aggressive and bring it in a house with another small dog or a small child, and then it suddenly turns and bites someone, who's to blame?

 

I think it's a little cavalier to tell people that every single dog can be successfully rehabilitated and will never be a danger again. You just can't know that with any certainty. It is worth trying, but you can't know for sure.

[tinktronik]

This is CRAZY!

 

Yes this dog should be put down. It is overtly aggressive. It is not a big stretch for a dog to go from attacking another dog to attacking a person. An agressive dog is just that, aggressive.

[Island Girl]

Another person who IS a dog trainer (from what I understand anyway) just stated that not every dog can be retrained; only some can.

 

Not every dog trainer does this kind of work. Not all of them use the same methods and not all of them are even good at what they do.

 

That is why I specified a trainer or person in your area WHO DOES THIS TYPE OF REHAB WORK.

 

Not just any "trainer" off the street.

 

Again it is a matter of not truly seeking the information from people who do this and rescue these dogs.

You are forming an opinion based upon misinformation and not facts.

So is your "trainer" friend.

 

Caesar Milan is God in this type of work. If you watch his show (hopefully you'll start it is interesting and informative) you will hear him say over and over again that NONE of these dogs need to be put down. They can ALL be rehabilitated and, wonderful man that he is, he often takes the harder cases or those where the people simply do not put forth the effort that is needed to his center and makes them part of his pack.

 

IF you ever watch the show he has a dog there I am VERY familiar with - a red pit you see in his pack around and within the other dogs.

This dog is relaxed and behaving as they ALL do -- but there are scars that betray the past life and a missing eye from fighting.

This particular dog was a "kill or be killed" case. A red zone case that would attempt to fight and kill any other dog.

NOT ANYMORE.

 

As I have said over and over. ALL dogs can be trained and rehabilitated no matter what the problem.

 

You sound like an animal lover. You sound like you are more informed than the average person about some animal issues.

 

Please go the extra mile and research the real truth. Don't just get an opinion by someone who is also sadly misinformed and run with it.

If you won't do that - if it is more time than you'll invest - then at least concede that there ARE other people who can and do rehab these animals and that it IS possible instead of adding to the misconception that it is an impossibility.

That misinformed opinion leads to tragedy every day for these poor animals.

[Star Gazer]

Another person who IS a dog trainer (from what I understand anyway) just stated that not every dog can be retrained; only some can.

 

I believe that's true, regardless of how good the trainer is. IMO, not all dogs really are domesticated.

[tinktronik]

I believe that's true, regardless of how good the trainer is. IMO, not all dogs really are domesticated.

 

Oh MY! SG we agree on something! I think this is one for the record books.

 

I absolutely agree that not all dogs can be domesticated. Saying that you can rehab all dogs is like saying you can rehab all people.

[stace79]

Not every dog trainer does this kind of work. Not all of them use the same methods and not all of them are even good at what they do.

 

That is why I specified a trainer or person in your area WHO DOES THIS TYPE OF REHAB WORK.

 

Not just any "trainer" off the street.

 

Again it is a matter of not truly seeking the information from people who do this and rescue these dogs.

You are forming an opinion based upon misinformation and not facts.

So is your "trainer" friend.

 

Caesar Milan is God in this type of work. If you watch his show (hopefully you'll start it is interesting and informative) you will hear him say over and over again that NONE of these dogs need to be put down. They can ALL be rehabilitated and, wonderful man that he is, he often takes the harder cases or those where the people simply do not put forth the effort that is needed to his center and makes them part of his pack.

 

IF you ever watch the show he has a dog there I am VERY familiar with - a red pit you see in his pack around and within the other dogs.

This dog is relaxed and behaving as they ALL do -- but there are scars that betray the past life and a missing eye from fighting.

This particular dog was a "kill or be killed" case. A red zone case that would attempt to fight and kill any other dog.

NOT ANYMORE.

 

As I have said over and over. ALL dogs can be trained and rehabilitated no matter what the problem.

 

You sound like an animal lover. You sound like you are more informed than the average person about some animal issues.

 

Please go the extra mile and research the real truth. Don't just get an opinion by someone who is also sadly misinformed and run with it.

If you won't do that - if it is more time than you'll invest - then at least concede that there ARE other people who can and do rehab these animals and that it IS possible instead of adding to the misconception that it is an impossibility.

That misinformed opinion leads to tragedy every day for these poor animals.

 

I do watch Dog Whisperer, but I in rare cases do not agree with Milan's methods. And the trainer I referenced wasn't a friend. It was someone on this thread who I thought had mentioned (or someone else had mentioned) was a dog trainer/animal behaviorist.

 

I just have seen no documentation that EVERY single dog can be rehabilitated. Not to mention the fact that even the best trained, rehabilitated dog might still have some hidden trigger that you aren't aware of that will come out at an inopportune moment...

[Island Girl]

I believe that's true, regardless of how good the trainer is. IMO, not all dogs really are domesticated.

 

Dogs have been domesticated for thousands of years. All of them.

 

 

I absolutely agree that not all dogs can be domesticated. Saying that you can rehab all dogs is like saying you can rehab all people.

 

Actually there is a vast difference between a canine brain and a human brain.

Dogs do not reason their nor do they store memories the way we do.

 

A dog can have a new outlook and a new "life" in a day and everyday after that if that is what we give them.

We reinforce the experiences and the behaviors we want and are getting a much clearer picture of how exactly to do that which helps them - but also us.

Dogs can also be instrumental in teaching US to live with what is happening today and right now and being able to construct a different future.

Which is great because we as beings tend to stay embroiled in past events and have difficulty letting go.

 

Dog behavior and how it works is really quite fascinating and entirely different than human behavior. Perhaps this will encourage you to not remain ignorant about it.

[sb129]

Just wanted to add- we have just recently got a puppy and its been a real eye opener for us. Training has required patience and time, but it definitely has paid off.

 

Our dog is a breed that is used in this country for baiting/ dog fights, which makes me feel sick to my stomach that people do that to dogs.

 

OP- why don't you and your BF discuss the situation with a trainer to see what they would suggest? To make it work, you both need to be proactive about putting the time and effort in.

[looking4 green grass]

Love me, love my dog.

 

Definitely look into training options ASAP. For both dogs. anything with terrier is a handful in itself. But they are really fun.

 

I've only seen one dog in my life that wasn't re-trainable, and it was a shih tzu. But the dog wasn't trained early on to attack, it just was wired that way from puppy hood. After several re-homing attempts and intensive training, the dog STILL attacked people all the time out of no where. In the end the dog was put down, but my friend was still heart broken over it (despite the numerous ER visits and stitches she had from it.)

 

Anyway, dogs are amazingly resilient, and they can always learn new behaviors. Or, that's what I think anyway. My dog has slept on the couch for nearly 6 years of her life. It's taken me about a month to break the habit. Now she has to be invited to sit on the couch with me. It's not an aggressive behavior, but she still learned quickly.