andycandy Posted November 26, 2003 Posted November 26, 2003 Thanks for helping us settle a bet. Candy and I have been married for 5 years. During that time, she has gained some weight. I would like her to lose the weight (at least some of it) and she says I married her for better or worse, thinner or fatter and should love her for herself and her weight should not matter. We both agree this is not the end of the world but thought we would make a bet and have some fun with this. Help us settle this by voting for Candy to lose weight or not. If the "lose weight" votes win, Candy has two years to lose 30 pounds. If the "stay fat" votes win, she won`t have to diet and we`ll renew our marriage vows on our anniversary.
steveb Posted November 26, 2003 Posted November 26, 2003 2 years 30 lbs. or what?? If she is to make changes, they should be for herself, not you. But: Do feel free to help control portion sizes at Dinner, etc. She may seem upset if you do, but I am sure that she appreciates your help. Do not let the serving container come to the table. You should make the family's plates. Help her feel confident in herself. If she is depressed, negative comments about any part of her being will make it worse. If she if feeling better about herself, she will be more likely to make changes. You do the shopping to eliminate any junk food in the house. If she makes a list for you, the bad stuff will not be on it, it is compulsive durring shopping. Eat Dinner as early as possible. If she mentions snacks in the evening, do not enable it. Even though we like the chips and dip, ice cream etc. do not make a party store run for her.
Arabess Posted November 27, 2003 Posted November 27, 2003 Originally posted by steveb If she mentions snacks in the evening, do not enable it. I think I know what you meant....but the way you worded it was kinda funny. If someone tries that with their....it's possible she won't be 'enabling' HIM either.....he'll be permanently enabled on the couch! LOL! As far as the original post.....I do agree a woman shouldn't turn into a cow just because she's married...but I don't know that I'd put a major BET on it. I don't think a marriage (or renewing vows) should hinge on a weight issue. It would subliminally be saying to Candy that you didn't want her AS MUCH if she didn't lose the weight. Work on it as a couple......and by ALL means....don't ENABLE her!! HAHAHA!
Duke Posted November 27, 2003 Posted November 27, 2003 I'm sure you do plenty that she doesn't like. Settle by changing something about yourself, otherwise she gains nothing in return.
alphadawg Posted November 28, 2003 Posted November 28, 2003 Holy crap! I hope she posts one called "a**h*** or not?" and if enough people vote Yes, she'll leave you to wallow in the shallowest end of the pool. Granted, my girl is hot and that's, honestly, important to me, but if I ever start to worry about her weight, I certainly would not do it publicly!!! (she's probably reading this by the way; she turned me onto the site. And yes, I know I'm whipped ) Whose idea was this website? Is she embarrassed about it? I feel so sorry for her to be with a guy like you! What is she posted one about your lack of muscles or worse, small penis-size? What is the matter with you???
Author andycandy Posted November 28, 2003 Author Posted November 28, 2003 Originally posted by Duke Settle by changing something about yourself, otherwise she gains nothing in return. That's a good point. Fair enough, I will offer something up as well. BTW we're both into the site and having a hoot about the comments people leave. Our love is secure enough I guess to joke about this.
Gaffer Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 Glad to hear that you two can joke about it, it helps. Not only is 'being fat' taboo now, so is talking about it! Along with weight comes health problems as well, but if you bring that up it's just 'yeah... sure... it's just you being selfish!' ...and I guess it probably is, but the feelings are still there.
goodnbad Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 I was just wondering how long is she required to keep the weight off? Do you really think she will be able to pull this off for life only for a bet? I would hope that she would want to do it for herself, for her health, and not for something so shallow and frivolous as winning a bet. In so far as loving someone no matter what, I will agree to a point. However, there does come a time when someone might 'let themselves go'; that is, being uncaring about their appearance and dressing the part, as opposed to just a slow weight-gain that is difficult to control. Which would your wife be? Is it just all about her looks? It sounds like you are trying to find a way to push her into your concept of the perfect wife. Just my own piddly two cents. goodnbad
Papillon Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 Two years for 30 pounds? That's a joke. She should lose that in 6 months or less, otherwise it's not going to happen. No one can diet for two years, it has to happen relatively quikly, and then the weight loss should be maintained indefinitely with a healthy lifestyle. Tell your wife, better or worse, she doesn't want to drag your ass to hospital because of a heart attack, and you don't want to do the same for her, either.
tiki Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 Awww, and I was actually wanting a good laugh. Your link don't work yo.
tiki Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 arrrgh I hate that! Why do people dig this crap up and start replying?! Hmm, anyway, I wonder if she ever lost the weight and won the bet?
goodnbad Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 Personally, I don't have the time to examine stuff like dates, etc, before I reply myself! Besides, it just might get interesting regardless. So to me, dates don't matter. After all, you don't HAVE to reply to it, right? But it would be interesting to see if she did lose the weight. My guess: she did not. goodnbad
JumpRun Posted September 8, 2004 Posted September 8, 2004 Man........let me tell ya. I married my wife who was heavy at that time nearly 18 years ago..........and she remained that way up until a few months ago. I've always loved her as she was for I married her not her body so to speak. Anyway, now that's she's lost a lot of weight - she is no longer interested in me........strange............guess I was a convience or something like that.
goodnbad Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 JumpRun, maybe it has to do with the weight loss and maybe not. Could it have to do with menopause (you did say you have been married for 18 years)? Or perhaps she is examining what she wants/needs in life and is giving some thought to the idea that those needs have changed. I'm assuming that your wife has lost weight due to dieting and/or exercise? Where do you stand in this? Are you overweight, or do you also keep fit and active? If she has attained a state of fitness far from your own, perhaps she is wondering why you are not following her lead (ie, she expects the same from you). Yeah, it is probably kind of short-sighted if she is expecting you to be fit too, but it's a thought. Or maybe she does still have feelings for you but now that she is thinner, she feels more 'deserving' and expects more from you. Being someone who has been overweight myself, I can say that as a 'fat person', I didn't expect much out of life in general 'cause I felt that I didn't deserve it and if my dh just lazed himself out on the couch every night, it didn't bother me. As a thinner person, I have found myself asking, "Doesn't he ever DO anything else?" Heck, maybe I'm totally off-base with this one. But you were wondering what the problem could be. Have you asked her? goodnbad
JumpRun Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 Below is a very recent picture of me packing my parachute..........I'm a skydiver. In spite of my muscle disorder I was diagnosed with in 96, she doesn't keep up with me.........which is cool.....we're all individuals.
JumpRun Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 goodnbad - she is seeking out others...............I have always done for her and continue to do so.............difficult time indeed.
goodnbad Posted September 10, 2004 Posted September 10, 2004 JumpRun, seeking out others, well...... Maybe she is feeling that old age thing, and is starting to think she has missed out on something. You know, she was overweight and felt unattractive to others and now she wants to see if she is attractive now? Does she seem overly bothered by her age? Perhaps she is feeling a little depressed (regardless of weight loss) and wants to see if others find her desirable? Who really knows but her. I still think maybe you should ask her. She might have some insights totally above and beyond what you might think. Take care! goodnbad
JumpRun Posted September 11, 2004 Posted September 11, 2004 I do believe there's some weight behind what you are saying..................she's becomes extremely agitated if I ask anything and am told it's none of my business. Also, she's online more than ever.......so................it's been six months of this.......she refuses counseling for us...........I'm giving it about another month..........it's been very difficult and she doesn't want to work with it.
slimjim Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 ways to get your wife to lose weight. 1) divorce her. before she is too old to date---she will lose weight to date again, even though she wouldnt do it for you. 2) reduce her to permanent room temperature. 3) inject her with hepatitus or botulism. just my 2 cents.
dangel2 Posted December 5, 2004 Posted December 5, 2004 Originally posted by tiki Hmm, anyway, I wonder if she ever lost the weight and won the bet? Actually, the votes went about 3 to 1 in her favor (not to lose the weight). So as part of the deal, I can't criticize her weight any more. I don't know how much she weighs but she has definitely continued to overeat and has gotten noticably fatter over the past year.
drumbri Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Take a tip from me. she will never lose the weight, ever!!! she will just keep getting fatter and fatter. till you realize she doesnt care what she looks like. I have the same problem at home.
slimjim Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 hahaha---welcome to the real world drumbi!!!! She has caught her prey, is out of the hunt running with the pack, she now has the 50% community property sewn up and you alimony check in the bull pen if you decide to go south. Can you say the words 'PRENUP"??? They all get fat when they have trapped their husbands (read as mealticket). Nothing you can do now pal----just try to hide the bon bons and dont get crushed!!! I bet her mother is fat too, correct?????
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