red shoes Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Is mirroring your date's body language a conscious or sub-conscious act? Does it always mean your date likes you if he/she mirrors some or all of your moves?
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 It's subconscious and means they like you.
Thaddeus Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Well, it's not always subconscious. Players and PUAs do this deliberately. The trick is defining which mirrored qualities (posture, movement and whatnot) are subconscious and which are put on.
Author red shoes Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 Well, it's not always subconscious. Players and PUAs do this deliberately. The trick is defining which mirrored qualities (posture, movement and whatnot) are subconscious and which are put on. How do you tell the difference? My date mirrored some of my postures and movements.
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 How do you tell the difference? My date mirrored some of my postures and movements. Lol, I think most guys are doing it subconsiously, unless he's doing it a lot! Mirror is pretty advanced PUA stuff, not many people know about it, or can actually apply it in the field deliberately without looking fake. This guy look fake?
Author red shoes Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 Lol, I think most guys are doing it subconsiously, unless he's doing it a lot! Mirror is pretty advanced PUA stuff, not many people know about it, or can actually apply it in the field deliberately without looking fake. This guy look fake? Not at all. But I can't tell whether he likes me or not.
carhill Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Women are masters at this. I even catch them doing the classic moves that most men consider signs of interest when I know for a fact there's no attraction whatsoever, rather just fishing for an ego feed. How pedestrian. The quickest fix, whether they're attached or single, is to give them a nice wet one on the lips. Reality returns.... The key is most men want a woman, any woman, to find him attractive, so men generally respond positively to signs of mirroring or interest. Women know this PUA's dispassionately play this game as equals, so IMO the playing field is pretty level. I purposely will alter my behavior if I catch myself mirroring, which is a habit of mine, because I think it diminishes my individuality; it's like I've ceded power to the person I'm mirroring. I've noted this more since going through MC, though I don't know if it was pivotal in such awareness. So, OP, IME: 1. Either. 2. Perhaps, but not necessarily.
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Not at all. But I can't tell whether he likes me or not. If he's mirroring he probably likes you. I need to see a vid though to see what he's doing so can't help you. Other things to look for: He tilts his head slightly to the side when listening to you. You leans towards to you. He preens himself and runs his hands through his hair.
Author red shoes Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 Women are masters at this. I even catch them doing the classic moves that most men consider signs of interest when I know for a fact there's no attraction whatsoever, rather just fishing for an ego feed. How pedestrian. The quickest fix, whether they're attached or single, is to give them a nice wet one on the lips. Reality returns.... The key is most men want a woman, any woman, to find him attractive, so men generally respond positively to signs of mirroring or interest. Women know this PUA's dispassionately play this game as equals, so IMO the playing field is pretty level. I purposely will alter my behavior if I catch myself mirroring, which is a habit of mine, because I think it diminishes my individuality; it's like I've ceded power to the person I'm mirroring. I've noted this more since going through MC, though I don't know if it was pivotal in such awareness. So, OP, IME: 1. Either. 2. Perhaps, but not necessarily. How do people have so much time to think about so much during dates? I find myself concentrating so much on what the dates are talking about and thinking of what to say next to notice much about body language to think of what I should or should not do. This is advanced class!
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 How do people have so much time to think about so much during dates? I find myself concentrating so much on what the dates are talking about and thinking of what to say next to notice much about body language to think of what I should or should not do. This is advanced class! Mutli tasking........ When you analyze people enough it becomes second nature. I find myself checking out everything about my date and observing the people around me these days.
Author red shoes Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 If he's mirroring he probably likes you. I need to see a vid though to see what he's doing so can't help you. Other things to look for: He tilts his head slightly to the side when listening to you. You leans towards to you. He preens himself and runs his hands through his hair. There was head tilting. Does it make a difference if that was mirrored though? Carhill, were you kidding about the massaging scalp part?
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 There was head tilting. Does it make a difference if that was mirrored though? Carhill, were you kidding about the massaging scalp part? Lol, well if you tilt your head 45 degrees, the other person has to tilt a little to try and maintain eye contact.
Author red shoes Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 Lol, well if you tilt your head 45 degrees, the other person has to tilt a little to try and maintain eye contact. Is that good or a matter of necessity?
2sure Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I have had, under professional circumstances....noticed people "mirror" my own body language, posture, etc. I knew what they were doing as it was a popular notion regarding interviews as well as dating...in what? The early 90s? When you notice someone doing it, trust me ...have fun with it.
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Is that good or a matter of necessity? Lol, I was just kidding. If you tilt you head 45 degrees to either directiion you'll have a stiff neck after a min. But what I mean is if you tilt your head then you can't be sure.
Thaddeus Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 I have had, under professional circumstances....noticed people "mirror" my own body language, posture, etc. I knew what they were doing as it was a popular notion regarding interviews as well as dating...in what? The early 90s? When you notice someone doing it, trust me ...have fun with it.Some sales courses include mirroring as part of their sales training. And coaching job hunters to mirror an interviewer's body language and posture is old hat. The point is that it's simply a way to connect on a subconscious level with the other party, regardless of circumstance (date, job interview, sales call or whatever).
carhill Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Carhill, were you kidding about the massaging scalp part? Perhaps, but it was a humorous way of relating that not all men have hair (myself as an example) to run their fingers through. I'll often catch myself putting my hand to the back of my head and running it downward to my neck. No clue why, but it happens when talking to some women. Perhaps I'm inviting them to stroke my head, which some seem to like to do.
redhighheels Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Mirroring is something you do unconsciously when you feel a bond with the other person, but some people do it on purpose to try and create that bond. I've done it on purpose myself a few times, just to put the principle to the test..it's fun! I've always paid attention to my dates' body language, it's a very good indicator of their level of attraction and overall attitude towards me. Every now and then, when my bf and I go on dates, I stop and notice our body language. Most of the times we're mirroring each other
2sure Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Next time I interview someone, I may pick my nose.
Hkizzle Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Next time I interview someone, I may pick my nose. Lol, good one...
carhill Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Next time I interview someone, I may pick my nose. Bonus if there's hair attached
Enema Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 It's an NLP technique to help build rapport. Not just body language either. To build rapport you can match tone, excitement, volume. Even the angles you're facing each other as you sit have an effect.
vanilla87 Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Is mirroring your date's body language a conscious or sub-conscious act? Does it always mean your date likes you if he/she mirrors some or all of your moves? Oh trick is to see if his torso (aka-stomach/bellybutton) is pointing directly at you. Guys do this when they are attracted to someone. Doesn't matter if their head or feet are pointed at someone else, if their entire torso is pointed at you, then your golden! Another one is pay attention to a guys pupils. They enlarge when they like a girl they are talking to or looking at. Actually all humans do this when they are attracted to someone. Another is if a guy uses a girls full name or her first name over and over in conversation, he is hooked on the girl. Same goes for a girl that likes a guy. Okay I'll give you an example of a situation for another type of attraction. Say your sitting at a bar and both you and the guy are sitting next to each other on stools. If you moved your leg and he moved his right ontop of yours and he didn't move it and neither did you, good sign that your both attracted to one another. Also if a guy gets up says he will be right back and when he does leans in a little, not to kiss but so you can hear him and puts his hand on the small of your back and sensually rubs it as he gets up, he desires you and could have feelings for the girl. No guy will ever touch that area unless he is physically attracted to her cause its a very sensitive spot on a woman. Another example is when a guy will purposely flirt with other girls and then try and catch to see the girl in question he likes if she is either a)getting jealous or b)even bothered by it. One really good example: extra hugs. My one guy friend when he did like me the few times we hung out he would seem to try and either give me really big bear hugs and twirl me or demand a lot of hugs before he would leave. They do that so they can either a)get a whiff of a girls scent (if she smells good that is), b)have an excuse to just touch her, or c)get an excuse to then make a move on her (i.e.-kiss her on the lips/cheek). Go to that link for further details on reading a guy and his body language and a few other interesting facts on what he does subconsciously. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/body-language/
ReturnToSender Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 After youre with someone for awhile, I think its natural for the two to "rub off on each other" so to speak. If the mirroring happens right off the bat, Id have to say thats deliberate, but when its happens over time..its something that just cant be helped. There are certain things that my SO says all the time....catchphrases I guess you can call it, and I find myself using them. It could be noon or 5p or 10p...if someone asks me what Im up to "just trying to get the day started" is what comes out. Totally his "fault" that I say that! I naturally have strong facial expressions...my face is an open book of what Im thinking...and I have noticed him giving an expression or such that is totally me...I notice it in my daughter as well. I still have "leftovers" from my ex's too...like if someone does something especially daft, Ill say they are dumber than a box of rocks...my ex husbands favorite line...or when I say 'could care a f***" or "dubious pleasure" thats my ex bfs line. I wish Id stop actually..I hate realizing where I got it from..hah! Im sure there are other things too but...in the end..we're products of our environment.
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