jaimemurray Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Sorry if this problem seems a little silly. I'm 17 and in sixth form and I like one of my classmates a lot. I fancy him. He's not the greatest looking guy, looks don't bother me at all. I'm really attracted to the person that he is. He's intelligent, ambitious and kind. But he is an Afghan muslim and I'm a Catholic (half african, half oriental). But this religion/race thing seems like a huge barrier. We are both very into our religions and I just can't see past it. Also, I think he'd rather go out with a muslim girl rather than someone like me. I feel like he is attracted to me (I think), and I really like him. Well, I don't know if he actually likes me. Everytime I see him or speak to him, he just stares at me and smiles. But he rarely initiates a converstation with me - does this mean he's not interested? I tend to ignore him a lot too...I don't know why Ever since I've been ignoring him, he's been talking to me less and less. I don't know how to get his attention either without seeming like a stalker. Oh dear
stace79 Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Well I think the good news is that you are still young, so you don't have to worry about getting married right away or something. However, I will tell you that issues like religion are HUGE when you get to the marriage stage. At the time, why couldn't you just be his friend and see what happens? Maybe invite him along with a group of people to the movies or something? Or ask if he wants to study together?
CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Agree with Stace. Your faith and his don't match and that will always create problems. Also, if either of you were to "change" religions to be with one another, then that tells me that you didn't really believe your faith. And if that is the case, why even be religious at all?! A faith you can walk away from is no faith whatsoever.
Enema Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 His 17 year old hormones probably mean that he likes you. But, he's thinking with the little man. When the l/dust settles, your religions will make this fall apart. I say go for it... Burka's can be sexy, even if you have no choice in your clothing or behaviour: http://patdollard.com/wp-content/uploads/burka-girl.jpg
WineCountry Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 He is muslim? Best to let him find a muslim girl. I just cant see anyone who is not already a muslim wanting to deal with that. Unless you like being considered a 2nd class citizen. Not being snarky or prejudiced, but it is what it is. As a woman , when it comes to these different religions, you have to look hard at how that religion views your role and "place" as a woman. For me..no thanks.
WineCountry Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 And for those who want to get all smart and say lots of religions may have the woman take a more 'submissive' role...perhaps. But, some are worse than others. Much worse.
Isolde Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 It's perfectly fine to state you doubt the OP would be compatible with this boy; to make facetious comments on an entire religion, isn't acceptable on a public forum where we have posters of different faiths. Furthermore, there are people who practice Islam fairly seriously, who aren't necessarily orthodox/Fundamentalist.
CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 It's perfectly fine to state you doubt the OP would be compatible with this boy; to make facetious comments on an entire religion, isn't acceptable on a public forum where we have posters of different faiths. Furthermore, there are people who practice Islam fairly seriously, who aren't necessarily orthodox/Fundamentalist. And the same can be said of other religions too. Not that we need a reminder, but we should all try to be understanding and tolerant.
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 And the same can be said of other religions too. Not that we need a reminder, but we should all try to be understanding and tolerant. Agreed. If you have personal experience with A (as in one) Muslim person, you could share that. But don't assume everyone is the same. Again, I think at this age, getting to know someone with a giant difference like that isn't a horrible thing. It's experience and an opportunity to learn. But later in life, when you're looking for a marriage, religion is definitely a potentially irreconcilable difference.
espec10001 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Sorry if this problem seems a little silly. I'm 17 and in sixth form and I like one of my classmates a lot. I fancy him. He's not the greatest looking guy, looks don't bother me at all. I'm really attracted to the person that he is. He's intelligent, ambitious and kind. But he is an Afghan muslim and I'm a Catholic (half african, half oriental). But this religion/race thing seems like a huge barrier. We are both very into our religions and I just can't see past it. Also, I think he'd rather go out with a muslim girl rather than someone like me. I feel like he is attracted to me (I think), and I really like him. Well, I don't know if he actually likes me. Everytime I see him or speak to him, he just stares at me and smiles. But he rarely initiates a converstation with me - does this mean he's not interested? I tend to ignore him a lot too...I don't know why Ever since I've been ignoring him, he's been talking to me less and less. I don't know how to get his attention either without seeming like a stalker. Oh dear If you like him then talk to him! Maybe he is shy. Most of people's conception of religion only divides them, as in your case. Much like the color of skin, it divides it doesn't integrate. You are afraid because he is of different faith than you. But there is a secret, and that all religions are the same! Yes, you heard me! Though the ceremonies and the traditions be different, you and him have more in common than you think! Don't let religion, race, or anything like that bar you from love. Humankind must progress and see beyond the veil that is before their eyes, and learn that the skin we wear, the religions we practice, the words we say, are like a passing wind that only has meaning to the subject. All men, women, and children are *stars*. Love is the Law, Love under Will.
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 If you like him then talk to him! Maybe he is shy. Most of people's conception of religion only divides them, as in your case. Much like the color of skin, it divides it doesn't integrate. You are afraid because he is of different faith than you. But there is a secret, and that all religions are the same! Yes, you heard me! Though the ceremonies and the traditions be different, you and him have more in common than you think! Don't let religion, race, or anything like that bar you from love. Humankind must progress and see beyond the veil that is before their eyes, and learn that the skin we wear, the religions we practice, the words we say, are like a passing wind that only has meaning to the subject. All men, women, and children are *stars*. Love is the Law, Love under Will. That's really dangerous advice. I don't think you should hate people b/c of differences like skin color, religion, nationality, etc., but implying it's not that big a difference in the context of a relationship is ludicrous. When it comes time to be married and have children, huge differences in religious philosophy can wreck a relationship. And religions are NOT all the same, not even close.
espec10001 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 That's really dangerous advice. I don't think you should hate people b/c of differences like skin color, religion, nationality, etc., but implying it's not that big a difference in the context of a relationship is ludicrous. When it comes time to be married and have children, huge differences in religious philosophy can wreck a relationship. And religions are NOT all the same, not even close. As I am aware that my words will fall upon deaf ears, it is the customs and traditions that humanity places on religion that separates them. All religion, all science, all art, come from the same Source. In time mankind will come to understand, but that time I know is a long way off. The ancients revealed this yet humanity denies it over and over like a spinning wheel. And why deny that you and everyone else are equal? Do you not like being a star?
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 As I am aware that my words will fall upon deaf ears, it is the customs and traditions that humanity places on religion that separates them. All religion, all science, all art, come from the same Source. In time mankind will come to understand, but that time I know is a long way off. The ancients revealed this yet humanity denies it over and over like a spinning wheel. And why deny that you and everyone else are equal? Do you not like being a star? I never said everyone is not EQUAL. But different religions bring into play widely different views on the world, raising children, marriage, daily activities, etc. If you think I as a Christian could be friends or in a relationship with a Satanist, you're nuts. If you think most Muslims want to marry non-Muslims, you're just uneducated on religion. Heck, I'd even have difficulty as a Christian marrying a devout Catholic!
espec10001 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 I never said everyone is not EQUAL. But different religions bring into play widely different views on the world, raising children, marriage, daily activities, etc. If you think I as a Christian could be friends or in a relationship with a Satanist, you're nuts. If you think most Muslims want to marry non-Muslims, you're just uneducated on religion. Heck, I'd even have difficulty as a Christian marrying a devout Catholic! Again, you are using divisive labels to define people. The world will never know peace until it comes to realize that every man and woman and children are stars. A Christian is a star. A Muslim is a star. A Buddhist is a star. An Atheist is a star. You are a star just like everyone else. I don't know how much clearer I can be.
stace79 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 Again, you are using divisive labels to define people. The world will never know peace until it comes to realize that every man and woman and children are stars. A Christian is a star. A Muslim is a star. A Buddhist is a star. An Atheist is a star. You are a star just like everyone else. I don't know how much clearer I can be. But you cannot raise children together if you have differing morals and views on the world. You're smoking something really interesting over there...
espec10001 Posted September 25, 2009 Posted September 25, 2009 But you cannot raise children together if you have differing morals and views on the world. You're smoking something really interesting over there... *sigh* So be it...
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